Introduction

It is unconditional that the child develops, becomes a teenager, a young person, a personality and acquires certain patterns of behavior in the social environment surrounding him. The higher mental functions of a person are initially formed as external and only gradually become internal. But adolescence is quite complicated from the psychological and sociological side, since at this time the child already has adult judgments, he understands that he is changing, so he has a fear of many problems, both internal and external.

The relevance of the work lies in the fact that adolescence is the most difficult and complex of all childhood ages, which is a period of personality formation. This age is characterized by the presence of a wide variety of psychological problems and difficulties, which are most often repressed due to the fear of awareness.

Adolescence is the age when a teenager begins to re-evaluate his relationship with his family. The desire to find himself as a person gives rise to alienation from all those who habitually, from year to year, influenced him, and first of all this applies to the parental family. The desire to be released from guardianship on the part of adults in a number of cases leads to more frequent and deepening conflicts with them. However, teenagers do not really want complete freedom, because they are not yet ready for it, they just want to have the right to make their own choice, to be responsible for their words and actions.

Parents, being the most important people in the life of their children, directly contribute to the formation of certain character traits, personality traits, and abilities. Children, responding to the direct and unspoken demands and expectations of their parents, try to be the best they can in meeting those demands. However, parents are not always aware of what their personality traits and properties affect the development of the child, the formation of him as a person, the formation of certain patterns of behavior.

The purpose of the work is to study the main problems of adolescence.

To study the features of adolescence, based on the works of domestic and foreign psychologists;

Consider the teenage crisis as a problem of the relationship between the child and adults;

Consider deviant behavior as a pathological problem of adolescence;

Consider aggressive behavior as a form of deviation in adolescence.

Subject of study: problems of adolescence.

Object of study: adolescence.

The main content of adolescence is its transition from childhood to adulthood. This transition is divided into two stages: adolescence and adolescence (early and late). However, the chronological boundaries of these ages are often defined in completely different ways. The process of acceleration has violated the usual age boundaries of adolescence. Medical, psychological, pedagogical, legal, sociological literature defines different boundaries of adolescence: 10-14 years old, 14-18 years old, 12-20 years old. Turning to national history, one can see that the age terminology regarding adolescents was also not unambiguous.

At the present stage, the boundaries of adolescence are approximately with the education of children in the middle classes from 11-12 years old to 15-16 years old.That is, approximatelyfrom 12 to 15 years (± 2 years), is characterized by the beginning of the restructuring of the child's body: accelerated physical development and puberty. Abrupt changes occur in the body due to the activity of the endocrine glands, in particular, the gonads. The metabolism is intensified. Violation of the previous coherence in the activity of the body and the new system of its functioning that has not yet been adjusted are the basis of the general imbalance of the adolescent, his irritability, explosiveness, sharp mood swings from violent activity to lethargy and apathy. The peculiarity of adolescence lies in the fact that externally and in terms of its claims it is an adult, but in terms of internal features and capabilities it is still a child in many respects. Hence the adolescent's continuing need for affection, attention, interest in games, fun, fussing with each other. Along with this, along with a sense of adulthood, a teenager awakens and actively forms self-consciousness, a heightened sense of self-esteem, and awareness of gender. A teenager is characterized by increased criticality. If, as a child, he did not pay attention to many events in the world around him or was condescending in his assessments, then as a teenager, he begins to reevaluate the familiar and familiar, making his own judgments, often very straightforward, categorical and uncompromising.

But it should be noted that the main criterion for periods of life is not calendar age, but anatomical and physiological changes in the body. The most significant in adolescence is puberty. Its indicators define the boundaries of adolescence. The beginning of a gradual increase in hormone secretion begins at the age of seven, but an intensive rise in secretion occurs during adolescence. This is accompanied by sudden increases in growth, maturation of the body, the development of secondary sexual characteristics.

Such pedagogical psychologists as Fridman L. M., Bozhovich L. I. talk about the problematic nature of adolescents. Adolescents are very sensitive to everything that concerns not only the assessment of their personal qualities, but also the assessment of the merits and demerits of their family, parents, friends, and beloved teachers. On this basis, adolescents can enter into a deep conflict with the offender. They can react to the loss of the authority of their parents or someone else, previously significant, in the most extreme and unexpected way: withdraw into themselves, become rude, stubborn, aggressive, defiantly contradict, start smoking, drinking alcohol or drugs, making dubious acquaintances, leaving at home, etc.

Adolescence, according to L. S. Vygotsky, is a set of conditions highly predisposing to the effects of various psycho-traumatic factors. The most potent of them are the unworthy behavior of parents, conflicting relationships between them, the presence of their shortcomings, humiliating from the point of view of a teenager and others, an insulting attitude towards a teenager, manifestations of distrust or disrespect for him. All this not only complicates the educational work with them, but also makes it sometimes almost impossible. A teenager on this basis may experience various deviations in behavior.

L. S. Vygotsky, like P. P. Blonsky, approached the adolescent period as a historical education. He believed that the characteristics of the course and the duration of adolescence vary markedly depending on the level of development of society.

E. Spranger developed the cultural and psychological concept of adolescence. Adolescence, according to Spranger, is the age of growing into culture. He wrote that mental development is the growing of the individual psyche into the objective and normative spirit of a given era. Discussing whether adolescence is always a period"storm and stress" , described 3 types of adolescence development:

The first type is characterized by a sharp, stormy, crisis course, when adolescence is experienced as a second birth, as a result of which a new" I " .

The second type of development is smooth, slow, gradual growth, when a teenager joins adulthood without deep and serious changes in his own personality.

The third type is a process of development when a teenager actively and consciously forms and educates himself, overcoming internal anxieties and crises by an effort of will. It is typical for people with a high level of self-control and self-discipline.

The main neoplasms of this age, according to E. Spranger, the discovery" I " , the emergence of reflection, awareness of one's individuality. Based on the idea that the main task of psychology is the knowledge of the inner world of the individual, closely related to culture and history, E. Spranger initiated a systematic study of self-consciousness, value orientations, worldview of adolescents, and also tried to understand one of the deepest experiences in human life - love and its manifestations in adolescence.

E. Stern considered adolescence as one of the stages of personality formation. According to Stern, the transitional age is characterized not only by a special orientation of thoughts and feelings, aspirations and ideals, but also by a special way of acting. Stern describes it as an intermediate between child's play and serious responsible activity and selects for it a new concept of "serious play". An example of a "serious game" can be playing sports and participating in youth organizations, choosing a profession and preparing for it, games of a love nature (flirting, coquetry).

In the concept of D. B. Elkonin, adolescence, like any new period, is associated with neoplasms that arise from the leading activity of the previous period. Educational activity produces a "turn" from focusing on the world to focusing on oneself. The solution to the question "Who am I" can only be found by confronting reality.

Features of the development of a teenager at this age are manifested in the following symptoms:

Difficulties also arise in relations with adults: negativism, stubbornness, leaving school, because. the main thing for a teenager now happens outside of her.

Children's companies (search for a friend, search for someone who can understand you).

The teenager begins to keep a diary.

Comparing himself with adults, a teenager comes to the conclusion that there is no difference between him and an adult. He begins to demand from others that he is no longer considered small, he is aware of his equality. The central neoplasm of this age is the emergence of the idea of ​​oneself as "not a child." A teenager begins to feel like an adult, he rejects his belonging to children, but he still does not have a sense of true, full-fledged adulthood, but there is a great need for recognition of his adulthood by others. Types of adulthood are identified and studied by T. V. Dragunova. These include imitation of external signs of adulthood, alignment with the quality of adults, the desire to master various "adult skills" - social and intellectual adulthood.

The activity of communication is extremely important for the formation of the personality of a teenager, because. it develops self-consciousness. The main new formation of this age is the social consciousness transferred inside. According to L. S. Vygotsky, this is self-consciousness. Consciousness means shared knowledge. This is knowledge in the system of relations. And self-consciousness is social knowledge transferred to the inner plane of thinking. A teenager learns to control his behavior, to design it on the basis of moral standards.

Modern social life makes other, higher demands on the psyche of a teenager than half a century ago. The flow of information has become more abundant, life experiences have become more diverse and richer, the pace of life has accelerated, and education has become more complex. New programs for computerization of education have been introduced. All this requires the development of intelligence and abilities. And if we add to this the collapse of ideals and the collapse of teenage organizations (pioneer and others) and almost nothing created to replace this, then it becomes clear why behavioral disorders in adolescents have become an urgent problem.

Teen personality traits:

1. The central neoplasm of a teenager is a sense of adulthood.

2. Development of self-awareness.

3. Critical thinking, a tendency to reflection, the formation of introspection.

4. Growth difficulties, puberty, sexual experiences, interest in the opposite sex.

5. Increased excitability, frequent mood swings, imbalance.

6. Noticeable development of strong-willed qualities.

7. The need for self-affirmation, for activities that have a personal meaning.

Thus, in the course of rapid growth and physiological restructuring of the body, adolescents may experience a feeling of anxiety, increased excitability, and reduced self-esteem. Mood volatility, emotional instability, unexpected transitions from fun to despondency and pessimism are noted as common features of this age. Therefore, adolescence has crisis features.

The psychological approach considers deviant behavior in connection with intrapersonal conflict, destruction and self-destruction of the personality, blocking of personal growth and degradation of the personality.

The criteria for deviant behavior are ambiguous. Latent offenses (stowaways, traffic violations, petty theft, buying stolen goods) may go unnoticed. However, abrupt changes in behavior when the needs of the individual do not match the proposal; decrease in the value attitude towards oneself, one's name and body; negative attitude towards the institutions of social control; intolerance to pedagogical influences; rigor in relation to drug addiction, prostitution, vagrancy, begging, associated with a special victim experience; offenses are the most well-established signs of deviant behavior. It is unacceptable to label a behavior as deviant under all circumstances.

If, when determining the norm and deviation, one proceeds from some approach, depending on the framework of the culture in which he lives, it is impossible to unequivocally determine what is the norm and what is the deviation.

The phenomenological psychological approach allows us to note that in practice, psychologists often encounter not deviant, but unacceptable, rejected, rejected behavior by adults. Thus, the label of “deviant” among teachers is given to unruly children who constantly attract attention, cause the greatest concern with the use of obscene and slang vocabulary, occasional use of alcohol, tobacco, and fights.

It should be emphasized that from the point of view of the adolescent himself, certain age and personality characteristics make it possible to consider behavior considered by adults as deviant as “normal” game situations that reflect the desire for extraordinary situations, adventures, gaining recognition, testing the boundaries of what is permitted. The search activity of a teenager serves to expand the boundaries of individual experience. In the period of growing up, it is difficult to draw a line between normal and pathological behavior.

Therefore, a deviant can be called that teenager who "not just one-time and accidentally deviated from the behavioral norm, but constantly demonstrates deviant behavior", which is socially negative.

With certain reservations, the category of gifted teenagers can also be classified as deviants, since both of them stand out sharply among their peers, both in real life and in educational institutions among the objects of frontal pedagogical influences. There is a certain affinity between creative and deviant personality (especially with addictive behavior). This is a special type - "excitation seeker". The difference lies in the fact that for genuine creativity, pleasure is the process of creativity itself, and for the deviant variety of search activity, the main goal is “the result is pleasure”.

It should be noted that a teenager - a “nerd” - is a kind of fan of study, whose fixation on educational activities turns out to be an obstacle to establishing a full-fledged intimate-personal communication with peers. On the other hand, such a single-channel activity of a teenager cannot be assessed as a kind of deviant behavior, since it has a prosocial orientation.

Some domestic and foreign scientists consider it appropriate to subdivide deviant (deviant) behavior into criminal (criminal), delinquent (pre-criminal) and immoral (immoral). These types (varieties) of deviant behavior are distinguished taking into account the peculiarities of the interaction of the individual with reality, the mechanisms of the occurrence of behavioral anomalies.

A criminal is a person who has committed a crime. Murders, rapes, inhuman acts are considered deviation all over the world, despite the fact that during the war killings are justified.

Delinquency is traditionally understood as a delinquent or unlawful act that does not carry criminal liability. In German, the concept of "delinquency" includes all cases of violation of the norms provided for by the criminal code, i.e. all legally punishable acts. Domestic scientists call the personality of a minor who committed a crime a delinquent; adult - criminal.

A.E. Lichko delinquent behavior means petty public actions that do not entail criminal liability: school absenteeism, membership in an antisocial group, petty hooliganism, mockery of the weak, etc. however, V.V. Kovalev objects to such an interpretation of the concept of "delinquent behavior", equating it to "criminal".

Therefore, in relation to adolescence, deviant behavior should be divided into two types - delinquent and non-delinquent.

There is another point of view that defines delinquency as a fault, a propensity, a psychological tendency to delinquency. Such characteristics of behavior as aggressiveness, deceit, absenteeism from school, vagrancy, extreme disobedience, hostility to teachers and parents, cruelty to children and animals, impudence and foul language are regarded as delinquent.

Since the noted qualities are immoral (contradicting the norms of ethics and universal values), there is a certain difficulty in distinguishing between delinquent and immoral acts. In many ways, criminal and delinquent behavior are similar. The difference between all these concepts lies in the fact that criminal and delinquent behavior are antisocial in nature, immoral - asocial. Immoral behavior, reflecting anomalies of character, predisposes to the commission of delinquent and criminal offenses.

There is another classification that distinguishes the following forms of deviant behavior: asocial (immoral, destructive, political crime), delinquent (criminal) and paranormal.

The third generalized classification identifies such types of deviant behavior: crime, alcoholism, drug use, prostitution, suicide. These types can be classified as both morbid manifestations and normal, and even ignored if society is tolerant of them (as, for example, abortion and homosexuality in different cultures, in different eras).

The emerging term "addictive behavior" refers to the abuse of various substances that change the mental state before dependence is formed on them, and auto-aggressive behavior is directed at oneself, is associated with mental illness or severe mental disorders and is defined as suicide.

Belicheva S.A. among deviations from the norm, he singles out an asocial type of deviant behavior; considers social deviations of a selfish orientation (theft, theft, etc.), aggressive orientation (insult, hooliganism, beatings), socially passive type (avoidance of civic duties, withdrawal from active social life); believes that they differ in the degree of public danger, in content and target orientation. It highlights the pre-criminogenic level, when the minor has not yet become the object of a crime, and criminogenic manifestations - asocial behavior of a criminal orientation.

V.V. Kovalev identifies 10 main options for deviant behavior:

evasion from educational and labor activities. For schoolchildren, refusal to study, systematic failure to complete assignments, and absenteeism were partly explained by gaps in knowledge that made it impossible to continue their studies;

systematic stay in antisocial-minded informal groups;

antisocial violence. They are expressed in aggression, fights, committing petty robberies, damage and destruction of property, and similar actions;

antisocial mercenary actions, expressed mainly in petty theft, petty speculation, extortion;

antisocial acts of a sexual nature. This variant of deviant behavior is expressed in the commission of cynical, obscene acts of a sexual nature, usually directed at persons of the opposite sex;

alcohol abuse;

the use of narcotic and toxic substances;

leaving home, vagrancy;

gambling;

other types of deviant behavior.

A.E. Lichko identifies the following forms of manifestation of behavioral disorders: delinquent behavior, running away from home and vagrancy, early alcoholization as substance abuse behavior, deviations in sexual behavior, suicidal behavior.

Thus, deviant behavior should be understood as a system of actions that deviate from the legal, moral, aesthetic norms accepted in society, manifested in the form of an imbalance in mental processes, non-adaptation, a violation of the process of self-actualization, in the form of evasion from moral control over one's own behavior.

adolescence is also characterized by various types of disturbed behavior. It is necessary to single out delinquent actions that are common among minors - drug addiction, substance abuse, alcoholism, car theft, escapes, home theft, hooliganism, teenage vandalism, aggressive and auto-aggressive behavior, overvalued hobbies, as well as typical teenage deviations that occur only in the psychopathological type - dysmorphomania, dromomania, pyromania, geboid behavior.

2.2. Aggression as a problem in adolescence

In a difficult adolescence, periods of aggression often occur, associated with psychophysiological transformations in the body of a teenager. Many aggressive acts of adolescents that fall into the field of view of law enforcement and investigative agencies and require psychiatric analysis due to their incomprehensibility and causal groundlessness are the result of a personality crisis. Therefore, very often the aggressive behavior of a teenager is completely unexpected, inexplicable for his relatives, friends, peers and eyewitnesses.

In theories of the emergence of aggression in adolescents, we can distinguish two main trends. This is either a predominantly biological mechanism, which emphasizes the role of neurophysiological mediators and the functional state of the deep structures of the brain, or a dynamic theory of aggressive behavior comes to the fore, suggesting that the main mechanism of aggression is pathological personal development, especially during life crises.

Often, signs of personality disorder manifest themselves in the form of a painful attitude to the perception of one's own "I" by people around, loneliness and isolation from the world, inconsistency of one's "I" with some, often false, ideals, feelings of loss of the integrity of the inner world are accompanied by severe aggression.

Within adolescence, both in boys and girls, there are age periods with higher and lower levels of aggressive behavior. So establishedthat boys have two peaks of aggression: 12 years and 14-15 years. Girls also show two peaks: the highest level of aggressive behavior is observed at 11 years old and at 13 years old.

Comparison of the severity of various components of aggressive behavior in boys and girls showed that in boys the tendency to direct physical and direct verbal aggression is most pronounced, and in girls - to direct verbal and indirect verbal. Thus, for boys, the most characteristic is not so much the preference for aggression according to the criterion "verbal - physical", but the expression of it in a direct, open form and directly with the conflicting one. Girls, on the other hand, are characterized by a preference for verbal aggression in any of its forms - direct or indirect.

Speaking about the characteristics of aggression in adolescence, it is necessary to take into account the fact that a teenager grows up in a family, the family is almost always the main factor in socialization, it is also the main source of living examples of aggressive behavior for most children.

The formation of aggressive behavior in adolescents is a complex process in which many factors are involved. Aggressive behavior is influenced by family, peers, and the media. Children learn aggressive behavior, both through direct reinforcers and through observation of aggressive actions, in an attempt to stop negative relationships between their children, parents may inadvertently encourage the very behavior they want to get rid of. Parents who use extreme harsh punishments and do not supervise their children's activities may find that their children are aggressive and rebellious.

Numerous studiesshowed that families from which aggressive children come out are characterized by special relationships between family members. Such tendencies are described by psychologists as a "cycle of violence". Children tend to reproduce the types of relationships that their parents "practice" in relation to each other. Adolescents, choosing methods for sorting out relations with brothers and sisters, copy the tactics of resolving conflicts from their parents. When children grow up and get married, they use rehearsed ways of resolving conflicts and, closing the loop, pass them on to their children by creating a distinctive style of discipline. Similar trends are observed within the personality itself (the principle of the spiral). It has been reliably established that the abuse of a child in the family not only increases the aggressiveness of his behavior in relation to peers, but also contributes to the development of a propensity for violence at a more mature age, turning physical aggression into a lifestyle of a person..

The formation of aggressive behavior is influenced by the degree of family cohesion, closeness between parents and the child, the nature of the relationship between brothers and sisters, as well as the style of family leadership. Children who have a strong discord in the family, whose parents are aloof and cold, are relatively more prone to aggressive behavior. Adolescents receive information about aggression also from communication with peers. They learn to behave aggressively by observing the behavior of other children (for example, classmates). However, those who are very aggressive are more likely to be rejected by the majority in the class. On the other hand, these aggressive children may find friends among other aggressive peers.

One of the most controversial sources of aggression training is the media. After many years of research using a wide variety of methods and techniques, psychologists and educators still have not figured out the degree of influence of the media on aggressive behavior. It seems that the mass media still has some influence on the aggressive behavior of adolescents. However, its strength remains unknown.

Conclusion

As a result of this work, some conclusions can be drawn.

Adolescence is quite complicated from the psychological and sociological side, since at this time the child already has adult judgments, he understands that he is changing, so he has a fear of many problems, both internal and external. This age is characterized by the presence of a wide variety of psychological problems and difficulties, which are most often repressed due to the fear of awareness.

Adolescence is the age when a teenager begins to re-evaluate his relationship with his family. The desire to find himself as a person gives rise to alienation from all those who habitually, from year to year, influenced him, and first of all this applies to the parental family. The desire to be released from guardianship on the part of adults in a number of cases leads to more frequent and deepening conflicts with them. However, teenagers do not really want complete freedom, because they are not yet ready for it, they just want to have the right to make their own choice, to be responsible for their words and actions. Parents are not always aware of what their personality traits and properties affect the development of the child, the formation of him as a person, the formation of certain patterns of behavior.

An alarming symptom is the increase in the number of adolescents with problematic behavior, manifested in antisocial, conflict and aggressive actions, destructive and self-destructive actions, lack of interest in learning, addictive tendencies, etc. Adolescence is indeed a problematic age, since this is a transitional period when " no longer a child", but also "not yet an adult" person. Psychophysiological transformations take place in the body of a teenager, which prepare a teenager for adulthood, but many psychological problems arise on this basis. It is necessary to consider the main of these problems.

The problem with an identity crisis in adolescence is that he feels uncertainty in all areas of life, and this scares him. The identity structure includes personal and social identity. Moreover, in identity there are two types of characteristics: positive - what a person should become, and negative - what a person should not become.

In the course of rapid growth and physiological restructuring of the body, adolescents may experience a feeling of anxiety, increased excitability, and reduced self-esteem. Mood volatility, emotional instability, unexpected transitions from fun to despondency and pessimism are noted as common features of this age. Therefore, adolescence has crisis features.

The crisis of adolescence is an absolutely normal phenomenon, indicating the development of the personality, but in the presence of certain unfavorable factors and conditions, this crisis condition leads to pathological behavior.

Deviant behavior should be understood as a system of actions that deviate from the legal, moral, aesthetic norms accepted in society, manifested in the form of an imbalance in mental processes, non-adaptation, a violation of the process of self-actualization, in the form of evasion of moral control over one's own behavior.

The deviant behavior of a teenager as a category is an interaction with the microsocial environment that disrupts his development and socialization due to the lack of adequate consideration by the environment of the characteristics of his personality and is manifested by his behavioral opposition, the proposed moral and legal social norm. P adolescence is also characterized by various types of disturbed behavior.

Thus, all of the above factors should be taken into account by parents, teachers, psychologists and society as a whole when interacting with adolescents, because it is easier to prevent aggression than to correct aggressive behavior later. Methods and technologies for the prevention and correction of aggressive behavior in adolescents will be considered in more detail in the next chapter.

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Recently, in our city (including the country) there is an acute problem of neglect and delinquency among minors. How many boys can be seen on the streets of the city of adolescence, as well as primary school age, who “hang out”, beg, sniff glue and other toxic substances. At this stage in the development of our society, this is a very global social problem that needs to be addressed by identifying the causes.

A modern teenager lives in a world that is complex in its content and socialization trends. This is due, firstly, to the pace and rhythm of technical and technological transformations that place new demands on growing people. Secondly, with the rich nature of information that creates a lot of "noises" that deeply affect a teenager who has not yet developed a clear life position. Thirdly, with the environmental and economic crises that have hit our society, which makes children feel hopeless and annoyed. At the same time, young people develop a sense of protest, often unconscious, and at the same time their individualization grows, which leads to egoism when they lose their general social interest. Adolescents suffer more than other age groups from the instability of the social, economic and moral situation in the country, today they have lost the necessary orientation in values ​​and ideals - the old ones are destroyed, new ones are not created.

Under these conditions, the traditional conflict of generations, the "problem of fathers and sons" appears, perhaps, especially clearly. In this regard, it seems significant that adults who are directly interested in the full-fledged personal development of adolescents and are called upon to provide appropriate conditions for this development (teachers, parents, practical psychologists) often have distorted, inadequate ideas about the problems of the younger generation. Some of these problems are clearly exaggerated, while others, no less acute, are, on the contrary, obscured and left without the attention of adults. As a result, some adults consider almost all teenagers to be drug addicts and alcoholics, potential criminals, racketeers and prostitutes, while others try not to notice new trends in the development of modern youth at all.

Therefore, it is important to know the real problems of adolescents in order to get a kind of socio-psychological portrait of a modern teenager.

Chapter I. Theoretical aspects of adolescence.

1. 1. Youth as a special socio-demographic group.

The transition to a market economy caused significant changes in the social status of various groups of the population, including those who were traditionally considered to be the bearers of advanced ideas. One of the main places in the new conditions belongs to the youth. The social guidelines she has chosen will largely determine the future of society.

Youth is characterized by those social relations and social forms that define it as an independent (relative to others) socio-demographic group. The youth, as a special socio-demographic group, has a number of features that stem primarily from its very objective nature. The social characteristics of youth are determined by the specific position that it occupies in the process of reproducing the social structure, as well as by the ability not only to inherit, but also to transform established social relations, that is, by the potential essential forces of a young person. The contradictions that arise within this process underlie a whole range of specific youth problems.

Youth, as a becoming subject of social production, is also characterized by a special content of the personal, objective and procedural aspects of concrete historical existence. Such a manifestation of the social quality of young people is associated with the specifics of their social position and is determined by the laws of the process of socialization in specific social conditions.

The specific conditions of the existence of young people determine the characteristics of youth consciousness, the dialectical unity of the structural elements of which forms the motivational essential forces of youth. Within this unity, a variety of contradictory determinations arise, mediating the specifics of their relationship to the surrounding reality and the motivation of social activity.

The listed manifestations of the social quality of young people in the process of development pass one into another, mutually complement each other, determining its social essence, which is realized through activity.

Thus, young people are a special socio-demographic group experiencing a period of social maturity, whose position is determined by the socio-economic state of society.

The boundaries of youth age are mobile. They depend on the socio-economic development of society, the level of well-being and culture achieved, and the living conditions of people. The impact of these factors is really manifested in the life expectancy of people, expanding the boundaries of youth age from 14 to 30 years. The lower age limit is determined by the fact that it is at this age that a teenager for the first time receives the right to choose socially: to continue his studies at school, to enter a technical or humanitarian college, a lyceum, or to go to work. By the age of thirty, a person, as a rule, reaches professional maturity, the formation of his family is completed, he occupies a certain position in society.

Young people make up 41% of Russia's population of working age.

22.3 million young people are employed in the national economy. However, the proportion of young people among those employed in the national economy is constantly declining, especially among workers in industry, construction and transport. In connection with the structural changes taking place in the economy, the share of young people in the non-productive sphere is growing, and this requires changes in the structure of their labor training and retraining. The number of young people in the countryside has decreased by 19% over 10 years and is only 18.5% of the rural population of Russia.

The introduction of market relations has exacerbated the problem of social security in the labor sphere. Young workers are the first to be laid off and join the ranks of the unemployed. By the beginning of 1996, unemployment in Russia reached (according to official data) 2.3 million people, or 3.2% of the economically active population; 38% of all unemployed are young people under 30 years old.

Particularly worrisome trends in the youth environment include the lag in the level of education behind the level achieved by the most developed countries; accelerating the decline in the prestige of general and vocational education; an increase in the number of young people who start working with a low level of education and have no desire to continue their education; the orientation of many links in education towards the "in-line" reproduction of workers, employees and specialists without taking into account the requirements of consumers; unpreparedness of higher, professional and secondary school personnel to work in the new conditions; the growing backlog of the material and technical base of all levels from the regulatory requirements; the decline in the intellectual level of the graduate student body - the future of Russian science, the outflow of gifted young men and women from many universities and from the country.

"Negative manifestations" are, first of all, that the youth environment is becoming a dangerous crime zone. Statistics show a steady increase in juvenile delinquency (in 2003, 145.4 thousand crimes were committed, and in 2004 - 154.4 thousand crimes, in 2005 - 154.7 thousand crimes).

The number of "female" crimes is growing from year to year. Law enforcement agencies are greatly alarmed by the trend towards “rejuvenation” of female crime. There are currently 1,136 teenage girls in Russia's three juvenile correctional labor colonies. Most of them were convicted of serious crimes.

According to forecast data, by 2010 the number of children will decrease by 3.73 million compared to 2003, which determines the further trend of the country's population decline. The birth rate does not provide a simple reproduction of the population. Maternal and infant mortality rates remain high, and only 30 percent of newborns can be recognized as healthy. Over the past 10 years, the incidence rate of children in general has increased by more than 1.4 times.

The younger generation, for the most part, found itself without reliable social guidelines. The destruction of traditional forms of socialization based on the social predetermination of the life path, on the one hand, increased the personal responsibility of young people for their own destiny, putting them in front of the need to make a choice, on the other hand, it revealed the unwillingness of most of them to engage in new social relations. The choice of a life path began to be determined not by the abilities and interests of a young person, but by specific circumstances.

Unfortunately, the existing economic and social programs practically do not take into account the specific social position of the younger generation in the process of social development. In this regard, it is necessary to increase attention to the social problems of young people, to determine the means, forms, methods and criteria for social work with the younger generation.

Of all the periods in the development of a person's personality, perhaps the most problematic, difficult and most dangerous is adolescence. Adolescence is a period when rapidly occurring physiological and psychological changes, a change in the social environment and social requirements for a growing personality often provokes various deviations in behavior, manifested in negativism, dominance, stubbornness, and aggression.

The main purpose of our study is to identify the problems of adolescents and explore ways to solve them. We need to remember the main thing, teenagers are no longer children, but not yet adults. They consider themselves self-reliant and independent of their parents and try more and more to be like their comrades. They have a strong sense of justice and are prone to conflict and argument. Their behavior is unpredictable, and they sometimes force their parents to take extreme measures, such as setting too rigid boundaries of behavior or, conversely, giving them complete freedom in order to avoid conflicts.

On the way to their own independence, adolescents need to establish boundaries and norms of behavior, and the decision to establish them should be made jointly with parents, teachers and doctors.

In this paragraph, we have determined the age limits of youth, highlighted a certain range of problems that are relevant for young people:

✓ falling birth rate and aging of young people;

✓ increased mortality;

✓ the problem of the health of children and youth;

✓ increase in the number of murders and suicides;

✓ unemployment;

✓ illiteracy;

✓ loss of social reference points.

1. 2. Who are teenagers?

Do those teachers, psychologists, parents who do not directly deal with this age think about this issue?

It seems to us that not always. And not at all because they are not interested, but because those who educate younger students have enough of their daily problems. It seems to them that they will still have time to get acquainted with the problems of adolescents when it is relevant, when these problems will stand before them in full growth and the time will come to solve them. However, we should not forget that the development of the child is sequential. It has its own logic, each next stage is based on what has been achieved, laid down in the previous one.

It is necessary to have a good idea of ​​what is important to form in pre-adolescence so that a rather difficult, problematic, conflicted adolescence passes in a child as calmly as possible. How to make sure that by the onset of the crisis of adolescence, children come with a level of mental development that would allow them to go through this period with minimal difficulties and losses? And along with this, how to provide the necessary assistance to those who have already crossed this border? And for adults to provide such relationships with children that would help you become for them not potential opponents, but a real support in difficult situations.

Therefore, we appeal to you: get acquainted with the problems of adolescence now. Try to understand and appreciate them. It will be useful in your work today.

So what is a teenager? It is not possible to give a short and unambiguous answer to this question. Different schools of psychology respond to it differently. One thing remains undoubted, the same for everyone: adolescence is the age of a serious crisis affecting both the physiological and mental development of the child. This crisis is directly related to the period of puberty. In medicine and physiology, this period is called puberty.

However, the assessment of this period is not unambiguous in different psychological and pedagogical concepts. What are these developments?

A striking indicator of the different approaches to the problem is the definition of what period covers adolescence - when does it begin, how long does it last.

In our domestic literature, the most common opinion is that it begins quite early, in many cases as early as 10-12 years old, and lasts up to 15 years. Then he moves into adolescence, which in many ways is a direct continuation of adolescence. Adolescence ends at the age of eighteen, that is, with the onset of adulthood.

At the same time, foreign psychologists, psychotherapists and other specialists give a different periodization of adolescence: for example, both in Europe and the United States consider adolescence to be one, but divide it into two parts, i.e., do not single out adolescence , and at the same time indicate that for a large number of young people this period begins at the age of 13 and lasts up to twenty to twenty-three. Some even refer to the end of adolescence as twenty-five years old. This is indicated by specialists who deal with difficult cases of adolescence, in particular psychotherapists and psychoanalysts.

Age differences in the definition of what constitutes adolescence are taken as an example because they are quite understandable to everyone, regardless of the extent to which these professionals, as well as parents, are familiar with the main problems of age. Of course, there are many differences in the definition and interpretation of the problems associated with the onset and course of this age. But the main thing at the same time remains that adolescence is a period of crisis in the development of the child, and this crisis does not always proceed without complications and even with a normal course requires close attention from adults. It is also quite obvious that this period proceeds in different children in different ways.

Let's start with successful options for the course of adolescence.

There are teenagers who quite early, already at the age of 12-13, strive to join the world of adults and at the same time are seriously interested in the problems that are the most significant in society today. For example, in the post-war decades, many teenagers were fond of physics (one of the reasons was the reaction to the invention of the atomic bomb), mathematics, later computers and aspired to get into physics and mathematics schools. After graduating from these schools, they went to the relevant specialties of institutes and universities and, as a rule, became scientists. In the last period, priorities have shifted somewhat. “Prosperous” teenagers began to focus more often on biological sciences, economics, business and law.

Other teenagers of the same age aspired to go into art - to literary, theater studios, music schools and colleges. And if we get acquainted with the biographies of famous scientists and artists, we will see that their social path to science and art began precisely at this age. One of the first to pay attention to the age of 13-14 in this sense was the outstanding psychologist L. S. Vygotsky in his book “Pedology of the Teenager”, referring to the works of the famous Russian teacher P. P. Blonsky.

These ideas are also supported by other studies. For example, M. Perelman, a theoretical physicist who was also actively interested in the problems of psychology, in his work on the development of adolescents, cites statistical data showing that the majority of major, and in some cases outstanding mathematicians and physicists. As well as biologists, musicians and other talented people, they chose their area of ​​​​interest already at the age of 13 and since then have been persistently moving towards their goal.

However, prosperous adolescents face difficulties in personal development, the formation of the image of "I" and, of course, need close attention and help from adults.

When adolescence is accompanied by a serious crisis, for "unfavorable" adolescents, the way out of it is in some cases earlier and easier, while in others it turns out to be extremely difficult both for the adolescent himself and for the family.

These differences, as shown by pedagogical experience, the experience of parents, as well as scientific analysis presented in the works of numerous psychologists and other specialists, largely depend on how the child was raised before adolescence, how well the family behaved - first of all, the family - in the teenage period of a child's development, how his social experience developed, the experience of relationships with peers and adults in the family and in the school team.

Adolescence is the so-called "transitional period", as if a special path from childhood to adulthood. And without going through this path, not a single person can form, become an independent personality. What is this path? Why does it turn out to be not an easy, and often unpredictable period in the life of a child, and, therefore, of his entire family? What problems and difficulties stand in the way?

Everyone agrees that the transition period from childhood to adulthood is based on the physiological restructuring of the whole organism, and primarily hormonal, - physiologists, psychologists, neuropathologists and psychotherapists. These same processes of restructuring the body, processes that are long and difficult, but absolutely necessary for the transformation of a child into an adult, into an adult personality, become the cause and basis of the adolescent crisis. Hence a very important conclusion: the teenage crisis cannot be avoided or bypassed. But this does not mean at all that it goes the same way for all children and that no one can influence how it turns out in a child.

All the actions of adolescent children express their desire to escape from the captivity of the norms and duties that surrounded them in the world of adults, to achieve some kind of independence. At least at the cost of conflict with society. This desire is not only among disadvantaged adolescents. It also exists in prosperous adolescents, who also strive to the highest degree for independence and self-realization.

Of course, the intermediaries between teenagers and society are parents. More precisely, in the first place parents. In a word, the goal of adolescents is independence from the world of adults and the laws and rules of behavior created by this world. Analyzing parental complaints, we can see an age-related change in the nature and essence of the actions that parents complain about. These changes characterize the age differences between adolescents. At the beginning, as can be seen from the nature of the "violations", the beginning of adolescence, about children 10-15 years old, for whom society appears mainly in the person of parents, grandparents or older brothers and sisters. Hence the struggle around "small", mostly family requirements - unwillingness to clean the room, one's dishes, follow the rules of hygiene, unwillingness to obey parents, etc.

However, they involve their “violations”, girlfriends and friends into the orbit, demonstrate independence, neglecting not hygiene or the state of order in their room and kitchen, the fact that they dispose of their parents’ things at their discretion, not only leaving them anywhere, but also giving to your friends and girlfriends. The next step in the struggle for "emancipation" is no longer neglecting one's appearance, but, on the contrary, introducing elements of adulthood into everyday life. For example, the use of cosmetics, the use of clothing designed for adults, etc.

And then comes the third stage. Complaints of parents, completing the presented list, are fundamentally different from those that we discussed earlier. They already belong to those teenagers who have crossed the border of adolescence and have not been able to find the strength in themselves to reconcile their "I" with the requirements of the society in which they exist. They failed to find their place either in the family or in society. And this situation inevitably leads to an aggravation of the crisis. To the transition from conflict with the family and the education system to conflict with society as a whole. This is very clearly and graphically confirmed by how the nature of parental complaints has changed. Instead of complaints about intra-family conflicts, the violation of the norms of society as a whole comes to the fore here: drunkenness, drug use, sexual promiscuity.

One can perhaps say that where it was about the age of up to 16-18 years, we encountered antisocial behavior. In the future, the behavior may become antisocial. This situation is not accidental - the crisis of adolescence cannot stand still. It is either overcome if it becomes the focus of attention of parents, psychologists and teachers in a timely manner, or, in many cases, it aggravates and deepens if qualified help does not come at all.

Let's try to figure out what underlies those manifestations that make the teenage crisis a dangerous age period for everyone - for the child himself, for his parents and for the whole society.

Is it possible in one chapter, at least briefly, to touch upon all the problems of adolescence and discuss the causes due to which they arise? Of course no.

However, there are many questions that arise here, which we will try to dwell on in the future. It is desirable to start with the development of self-awareness and the formation of the image of "I". This problem is discussed by many psychologists and educators who study adolescence and work with adolescents in different settings. For example, in a family setting or in a team to which a teenager belongs.

The development of self-awareness and the formation of the image of "I" is considered in psychology as one of the most important achievements of adolescence. But since this process can be called a revolutionary transformation in the mind of a teenager, talking about it touches on all the main directions of development and the main difficulties of growth. And that means the difficulties experienced during this period by the children themselves, and the parents, and the school.

A look at oneself, awareness of one's "I" changes over a long period of development. At first, the child evaluates himself in terms of external signs, the conformity of appearance - growth, physical development - with the standard of his environment, then the signs of sex become the subject of attention, and not only external, but also behavioral. And in the understanding of adolescents themselves, in the formation of the image of "I", the reactions and assessments of society are increasingly involved - not only assessments of appearance, but also behavior, attitudes, success. During this period, sharp, thoughtless reactions of the family - parents, older brothers and sisters - can become the basis for a complete violation of the child's personal development. Become the very impetus for antisocial or even antisocial behavior.

As a result, it turns out that teenagers are young people aged 13 to 17 (in the USA they are teenagers from 13 to 23), and adolescence is the so-called “transition period”, as if a special path from childhood to adulthood. At this age, the physiology of a teenager is rapidly changing, awkwardness in movements, emotional imbalance, and increased reflection are manifested. At the same time, this is the most crucial period, since the foundations of morality are formed here, social attitudes, attitudes towards oneself, towards people, towards society are formed.

1. 3. Psychological features of adolescence.

With the transition from the lower grades to the middle and older grades, the position of children in the system of business and personal relations with the people around them changes. Serious matters begin to occupy an increasing place in their lives, less and less time is devoted to recreation and entertainment. The demand for intelligence is growing. Teachers and parents are moving to a new style of communication with teenagers, more appealing to their reason and logic than to feelings.

On intellectual development in adolescence and youth.

In adolescence, the process of cognitive development is actively going on. Science still does not know enough what happens to the minds of children in this age period, how their perception, attention and imagination change. The improvement of such cognitive processes as memory, speech and thinking is easier to observe, and more can be said about them.

Teenagers and young men can already think logically, are capable of theoretical reasoning and introspection. They think relatively freely on moral, political and other topics that are practically inaccessible to the intellect of a younger student.

High school students can draw general conclusions on the basis of particular premises and, on the contrary, move on to particular conclusions on the basis of general premises, that is, they are capable of induction and deduction.

The most important intellectual acquisition of adolescence is the ability to operate with hypotheses. We can talk about the formation of theoretical, or verbal-logical, thinking in adolescents.

Intellectualization of all other cognitive processes is observed. The growth of consciousness and self-awareness, the deepening of knowledge about oneself, about people, about the world around are noticeable.

The development of self-awareness finds expression in a change in the motivation of the main types of activity: teaching, communication and work.

Those activities that previously played a leading role, such as play, are gradually relegated to the background. A new stage of mental development begins.

In adolescence, self-control of activity is actively improved. Until adolescence, many adolescents still lack the ability to pre-plan activities, but at the same time, there is a desire for self-regulation.

On the improvement of mental processes.

In the 6th - 11th grades, important processes related to the restructuring of memory take place in the psyche of schoolchildren. Logical memory is actively developing, but the development of mechanical memory is slowing down, which is associated with an increase in the amount of information. Students may have memory problems; along with this, there is an interest in ways to improve memorization.

At this age, reading, monologue and written speech are actively developed. Written speech improves in the direction from the ability to write in writing to an independent composition on a given topic.

The development of children's abilities continues on the basis of the leading types of activities: teaching, communication and labor.

In training, the communicative abilities of students are formed and developed, including the ability to make contact with strangers, seek their disposition and mutual understanding, and achieve their goals. In labor, there is an active formation of those practical skills that in the future can improve professional abilities.

About the development of thinking.

Adolescence is characterized by increased intellectual activity, a desire to develop, demonstrate one's abilities, and be highly appreciated by others.

The desire for self-education is a characteristic feature of both adolescence and early adolescence.

About the personality of a teenager.

The transition to adolescence is characterized by profound changes in the conditions affecting the child's personal development. They relate to the physiology of the body, the relationship that a teenager develops with adults, peers, the level of development of cognitive processes, intelligence and abilities.

The center of physical and spiritual life moves from home to the outside world.

During three or four years of high school education, the motivational sphere of a person is formed, his personal and business interests are determined, professional inclinations and abilities are manifested. The main motivational lines of this age period, associated with an active desire for personal self-improvement, are self-awareness, self-expression and self-affirmation.

A teenager is also forced to grow up quickly by circumstances related to physical changes in his body.

The easiest way to achieve the goal of "being like an adult" is to mimic the external forms of observable behavior. At the same time, in adolescence, the process of formation and development of the child's self-awareness continues. He pays great attention to his own shortcomings. The desired image of "I" in adolescents usually consists of the merits of other people that they value.

On the formation of volitional qualities.

In the 7th - 8th grades, teenagers begin to systematically engage in self-education. They love adventure, romantic films and literature, as their heroes have the qualities of masculinity, courage, character and willpower.

In older adolescence, many boys begin to engage in self-development of their volitional personality traits through sports. The general logic of the development of all volitional qualities can be expressed as follows: from the ability to manage oneself, concentrate efforts, withstand heavy loads to the ability to manage one's activities and achieve high results in it.

On the development of business qualities of a person.

Adolescence is characterized by processes associated with the choice of a future profession. There is a desire to do something with their own hands, increased curiosity and the first dreams of a future profession.

Children are distinguished by increased cognitive and creative activity. New motivations are emerging. Teaching is supplemented by self-education, acquiring a deeper personal meaning.

At this age, good conditions are created for the formation of organizational skills, efficiency, and enterprise.

Along with learning and work, the game still carries rich opportunities for the personal development of children.

On the achievements of the mental development of adolescents.

With age, the interests of adolescents change dramatically. In the fifth and sixth grades, children pay more attention to the position they occupy in the class among their peers. Sixth and seventh graders begin to show interest in their appearance, in children of the opposite sex and in their relationship with them. Seventh-graders show interest in their abilities, in their future profession. Eighth graders highly value independence, individuality, personality traits that are manifested in friendship and camaraderie.

Adolescence is the time of the formation of a true individuality, independence in learning and work, a keen desire to know and evaluate oneself, to form a holistic, consistent image of the “I”.

Between the ages of 12 and 14, when describing themselves and other people, adolescents begin to use less categorical judgments, including the words “sometimes”, “almost”, “it seems to me”, etc., which indicates a transition to the position of evaluative relativism, understanding ambiguity, inconstancy and diversity of personal manifestations of a person.

In adolescence, a differentiated attitude towards different teachers appears: some are loved, others are not, and others are treated with indifference. New criteria for evaluating the personality to the activities of adults are being formed.

Adolescents value knowledgeable teachers more, who are strict but fair, who treat children kindly, are able to explain the material in an interesting and understandable way, give fair grades, and do not divide the class into favorites and unloved ones. The erudition of the teacher, as well as the ability to properly build relationships with students, are especially highly valued by adolescents.

The child's perception of himself changes. At 10-11 years old, about a third of all adolescents give themselves mostly negative characteristics. This attitude often persists into 12-13 years. However, it is accompanied by some positive changes in self-perception, a higher assessment of oneself as a person.

As they grow older, initially global negative self-assessments become more differentiated, characterizing behavior in various situations, and then private actions.

In the development of reflection, that is, the ability to base their own strengths and weaknesses, the following is observed: at first, children are mainly aware of their individual actions in certain life situations, then character traits, and, finally, the main personality traits.

On the formation of theoretical intelligence.

The intellectual development of children can be accelerated in three directions: the conceptual structure of thinking, speech intelligence, and an internal plan of action.

The development of thinking in high school can be facilitated by rhetoric, understanding how to plan, compose and deliver public speeches, conduct a discussion, and competently answer questions.

Middle and high school students should not mechanically memorize and repeat the frozen definitions of scientific concepts, but, above all, understand their meaning and logic. This will undoubtedly speed up the process of development of the conceptual structure of thinking in high school students.

On the improvement of practical thinking.

The structure of practical intelligence includes the following qualities of the mind: enterprise, frugality, prudence, the ability to quickly and efficiently solve emerging problems.

Entrepreneurship is manifested in the fact that in a difficult life situation a person is able to find several solutions to a problem that has arisen, and most importantly, he is always ready to find a solution in practical terms, he can find a way out of any situation.

Frugality is that a person is able to find a way of action that will lead to the desired result with the least cost and expense.

Calculation is manifested in the ability to look far ahead, to foresee the consequences of certain decisions and actions, to accurately determine their result and evaluate what it can cost.

The ability to quickly solve the tasks set is a dynamic characteristic of practical intelligence, manifested in the amount of time that passes from the moment the task arises to its practical solution.

Developed can be considered such practical thinking, which has all the above properties. It can and should be formed in students, starting from the first grades, and not only at school, but at home. The main directions of development of the listed properties of practical intelligence:

Entrepreneurship - through student self-government in the classroom and at school;

Thrift - through the encouragement of children to independently calculate the material costs for the affairs of interest to them.

On the development of general and special abilities.

The future professional success of students is largely determined by the labor skills and abilities that are actively formed during the school years.

Professionalization of education with its simultaneous differentiation according to abilities should be introduced in parallel and in addition to the general education program.

About the upbringing of high school students.

By the end of primary school age, there is a change in the social situation of development and the internal position of the student, as a result of which the processes of forming his personality are accelerated, and teaching temporarily fades into the background. What personal qualities should boys and girls have and what should they be able to do after high school?

The first and main group of qualities are those associated with self-service at school and at home. Young people leaving school should be able to find their own job or enroll in school, hire and equip housing if necessary, provide their own food, including buying and preparing food, provide themselves with clothing, and manage other personal or business related problems. with the structure of life, such that a socially adapted adult can cope with relatively easily.

The second group of qualities concerns orientation in the social, political and cultural life of society. At the end of school, every cultured person should develop beliefs, a worldview, a system of social attitudes that determine a person's attitude to the world, to people, to himself. Modern young people should know the law to such an extent that they not only do not violate the laws themselves, but also help others in this. They must know the elementary foundations of the economy so that they can engage in individual entrepreneurial activity, start a business, and derive material benefits.

The third group of personal qualities refers to the moral basis of the personality and its culture.

During the years of schooling, children should develop basic moral qualities, and the greatest educational burden in this regard falls on middle and senior school age. In elementary school, the lion's share of time is spent on studying, and this is normal. However, in the middle grades and beyond, the time allotted for educational and educational activities should become approximately the same.

If in the middle and senior grades of the school priority is given to education, that is, the accelerated personal development of children, then in the future their learning and intellectual development also proceed at a faster pace. This is because the formed personal qualities listed above become a powerful incentive for further improvement of a person in various activities.

About education in communication with peers and adults.

In adolescence and youth, the craving for interpersonal communication of the same age increases. Communication with peers during this period is the most important school of self-education. But without adults, teenagers are often unable to find the right answers to the questions that concern them. Particularly favorable opportunities for inter-age communication between children and adults are created by their joint work.

About the self-education of adolescents.

In adolescence, there is a strong desire for self-education. At the age of 12-14, children begin to think about the possibilities of intellectual and personal communication, self-improvement, and make conscious, purposeful efforts for this purpose. Self-perception goes through a certain path of development.

The first step is physical and volitional self-education. A typical goal at this stage is the volitional and physical self-improvement of a teenager, and the tasks are to improve the volitional qualities of a person, such as self-confidence, etc., through the use of special tools and exercises, physical development.

Many children begin to engage in physical education and sports.

The second step is moral self-improvement. The purpose of self-education at this time is spiritual, moral development, understood as the development of noble personal qualities: decency, kindness, generosity, fidelity in friendship, devotion to a loved one, readiness to help, etc.

What is the best way to help a teenager in his physical, volitional and moral self-improvement? First of all, children's desire for self-perception should be encouraged and actively supported, starting from the first signs of it. A teenager in his physical self-education is best helped by physical education and sports. An example of an adult plays an important role in the self-education of adolescents.

A psychologically and pedagogically difficult situation related to self-education arises when older students are faced with the problem of moral self-improvement. A contradiction arises: on the one hand, the desire for romanticism, chivalry and adventure, inspired by the relevant literature and films; on the other hand, a clash with pragmatism generated by the economic conditions of life.

If the romantic ideal requires asceticism and modesty in its claims from the individual, then the pragmatic one, on the contrary, dictates the desire for material well-being. Romantic orientation involves solitude, pragmatic - active communication. The first is characterized by resignation to fate, the second is struggle.

The first task of the educator is to show children that in reality pragmatic and romantic values ​​are quite compatible with each other. Boys and girls can be recommended, along with reading literature of a romantic, heroic and adventure orientation, acquaintance with works of “business” literature containing biographical information about prominent personalities in this field.

Thus, adolescence is one of the most difficult periods of human development. Despite the relative short duration, it practically largely determines the entire future life of a person. It is during adolescence that the formation of character and other foundations of personality takes place. These circumstances: the transition from a childhood tutored by adults to independence, a change from the usual school education to other types of social activities, as well as a rapid hormonal restructuring of the body, make a teenager especially vulnerable and, therefore, subject to the negative influences of his environment. At the same time, it is necessary to take into account the desire inherent in adolescents to free themselves from the care and control of relatives, teachers and other educators. Often this desire leads to a denial of the spiritual values ​​and standards of life in general of the older generation.

1. 4. The main problems of modern teenagers.

Adolescents, whose development is fraught with great difficulties and dangers, do not make up the majority. According to some data published in different countries, approximately 25% belong to this disadvantaged group. This alarming figure in itself suggests that the remaining 75% are developing normally, do not represent a risk group and, it would seem, do not need constant care. However, there is no teenager who does not need the support of society, primarily the support of his own family. Because every development faces problems. And very often with unexpected problems, difficult to solve for those who do not have life experience. So difficult to resolve that development, which up to this point has been going normally, can suddenly turn off the road and find itself, if not on the wrong path, then at a crossroads.

Today we exist in an unstable situation. Cataclysms in society affect the course of the teenage crisis. They cover huge masses of people today. Social cataclysms: a change in the social system, a change in economic structures, a change in political views and social status; cataclysms associated with huge migrations of the population - both within one country and from one country to another. At the same time, there is a transition from one culture to another, a change in the language in which the child must learn, develop, receive information, contact with peers and adults, with the whole society around him. These processes, difficult enough for any age, are especially difficult for a teenager.

Teen problems:

Change in financial situation, as a rule, in the direction of deterioration. However, the direction and nature of these changes are extremely different. In some cases, there is either rapid or gradual impoverishment, which leaves a heavy imprint on the emotional climate in the family. However, in different families the consequences of the decline in living standards are different. When a close-knit, close-knit family experiences financial difficulties, teenagers, who naturally feel the brunt of this situation, are not excluded from family problems. Negative developments, as a rule, do not occur. Moreover, these difficulties in a number of cases can even play a positive role - they can become the basis for a more complete inclusion of a teenager in family life, in solving its problems. Often teenagers grow up quickly and begin to replace the elders in caring for the family. In addition, they begin to strive for faster independence. In families where communication is disrupted, and where material well-being plays a leading role, the decline in living standards leads to a serious breakdown in all family relations, and adolescents find themselves in a very difficult situation.

The problem of choosing a future profession. In particular, the choice of the educational institution that will determine their entire future. Of course, the most important thing for every future student is to understand what he wants, what he wants to learn, what he wants to become in his future life. This problem has never been simple, and at the present stage of development of our society it becomes even more complex. Because before the basis of choice was, as a rule, the interest of the student entering the institute in some kind of activity, for example, in literature, philosophy, medicine. Now this problem has become more complicated, because in addition to interest, even graduates consider the choice of a profession in most cases in the perspective that this profession opens before them in the future. Because the conditions of survival in today's difficult period of development of the country in many cases become the leading motive for the young man or girl himself, and even more so for parents seeking to ensure the future well-being of their child. We see that often very capable young people, who have been fond of, for example, literature all their school years, go to an economic institute, and those who have already graduated from their favorite department of chemistry enter accounting courses. It is possible that such an act is quite legitimate, but this is not always the case. In some cases, everything can go painlessly, the choice can be not only practical, justified momentarily, but also adequate to the entire life path of a person.

Teenagers usually perceive themselves as a separate group, a special part of society. A vivid example of this is the presence of "slang" that teenagers use to communicate with each other. They believe that its use makes their mutual communication not always clear to others, what they are striving for. As if to say that they have their own, different from the adult, not subject to influence, a special "I".

Lack of understanding between children, parents and school.

Children at school age need contact with their parents no less than preschool, but rather more.

Neither the family without contact with the school, nor the school without contact with the family can fully manage the development of the child in pre-adolescence and adolescence, to ensure the directed formation of his personality.

Contact between family and school during the period when children enter adolescence must be constant and purposeful, otherwise the teenager is left to himself or undesirable companies. The triad "teenager, family and school" is broken.

The experience and statements of adolescents themselves show that parents are included in the life of their children sporadically, only when it seems to them that it is necessary. Everyday contacts, if any, are formal.

The decrease in contacts between parents and schoolchildren can often be explained by the fact that parents do not have enough time or knowledge for such communication.

It must be remembered that “parents are a profession”, and in the profession you need to continuously improve.

The problem of the second child. The appearance of a second child dramatically, irreversibly changes the position of the first and his view of the world. The first-born, accustomed to being the only one, is trying to regain, to win back his usual position in the family, but, of course, he cannot do this. And here very often conflicts arise, which parents stop with a sharp tone, reprimands, and sometimes even punishments. This does not contribute, as you understand, not only to the establishment of close, warm relationships between the older and younger child, but also to the normal state of the nervous system and psyche of the older child, or rather, both children. The atmosphere in the family becomes tense. During this period, the older child may appear before at all actions and forms of behavior that did not occur to him at all. And although the teenage period has not yet come, many personal manifestations are already setting the stage for future adolescent difficulties. Therefore, in such a situation, parents should show increased attention to their older child, help them feel needed and loved again and prevent undesirable development of his personality.

The next group of problems of adolescence are problems associated with the deviant behavior of adolescents.

The normal behavior of a teenager presupposes his interaction with the micro-society, adequately meeting the needs and possibilities of his development and socialization. If the environment of the child is able to respond in a timely and adequate manner to certain characteristics of the adolescent, then his behavior will always or almost always be normal. Hence, deviant behavior can be characterized as the interaction of a teenager with a microsociety that disrupts his development and socialization due to the lack of adequate consideration by the environment of the characteristics of his personality and manifests itself in behavioral opposition to established moral and legal social norms.

The main types of deviant behavior are crime and criminally punishable cases of immoral behavior, which also pose a certain social danger. The connection between crime and immoral behavior is that the commission of a crime is preceded, as a rule, by some kind of behavior in the form of drinking alcohol, drugs, promiscuity in the field of sexual relations, etc.

Medical and psychological problems of adolescent schoolchildren. Adolescence is a special period in a child's life, when a variety of morphological and functional changes in organs and systems occur in a relatively short period of time. These processes are characterized by high energy costs. They are so severe that the body is not able to develop evenly. Bones and muscles, arterial and venous vessels, chambers of the heart - they all grow at different rates. As a result, there are a lot of milestone problems, ailments, physical weakness are possible. A teenager's psychological perception of the world changes. Often this is very painful. All this significantly distinguishes adolescents from children and adults and determines a certain vulnerability of the body to the development of a number of diseases.

All teenagers develop differently. Among them are children with phenomenal physical abilities. Although the question of what price the records are given to them requires special discussion. After all, many sports achievements of children testify not so much to their level of health as to perseverance and enthusiasm. This opinion is confirmed by the data of physicians, which indicate that only 1-2% can be called healthy, the rest have diseases and abnormalities at the level of 3-4 or more organs and systems. And since during puberty the body's sensitivity to the effects of adverse environmental factors is increased, physical and emotional overload can make the child even more vulnerable. As a result, a hereditary predisposition to certain diseases will be realized, limiting the suitability for various professions, clouding the prospect of future motherhood and fatherhood. Moreover, during adolescence, this trouble can manifest itself in separate, dim episodes. But a little later, in the third, fourth decade of life, in its most fruitful period, these diseases will become a noticeable and painful circumstance.

Chapter 2. Experimental study of the problems of modern adolescents

In order to study the problems of teenagers in gymnasium No. 1, we conducted a pilot study in four stages:

Plan of work on the topic of the problem of adolescents and ways to solve them:

1. Predictive Definition of goals and objectives when working on a topic. September-October 2007 Processing of results,

Familiarization with the delinquency of teenagers in the city obtained during the pilot school. research (questionnaire)

Study of the relevant literature.

Conducting a pilot study.

2. Diagnostic Analysis of the results obtained during the pilot November 2007 Conducting research on research. class hours dedicated to

"Sphere of interest" to the problems of adolescents.

"Unfinished thesis"

"Whose names will the young people write?"

3. Practical Analysis of the results obtained at the diagnostic stage. December 2007-March 2008 Performance at the parent

At the prognostic stage, we conducted a questionnaire in the 8th grade in order to identify students' opinions about some aspects of the life of adolescents and young people in our city, as well as in our gymnasium. The study involved 37 students, husband - 12, wives -28.

Analyzing the responses of the students, we obtained the following results.

Brought up in a complete family - 76%, incomplete - 19%, other - 5%.

They live in their own house - 16%, in a separate apartment - 84%.

Family wealth is average - 92%.

Relations with parents: 86% - normal, 11% - conflict, 3% - no relationship.

Relationships with peers: normal - 97%, conflict - 3%.

70% of students have a negative attitude to bad habits, 30% are indifferent. 64% used alcoholic beverages, 6% want to try, 30% have not tried and never will.

They used (64%) beer - 30%, low-alcohol cocktails - 35%, wine - 35%, vodka - 5%.

Most of the children answered that they drank alcohol in the company of friends and on occasion of the holiday.

They took money from their parents - 51%, treated friends - 22%.

84% of sexual contacts were not, 16% were.

Only 3% are not informed about venereal diseases.

When asked why young people use drugs, the children answered:

14% - prestigious

62% - to have fun, out of boredom.

68% - to get rid of unpleasant experiences

27% - to relieve tension when communicating with other people.

14% - in order not to stand out among others, to be like everyone else.

100% did not use drugs.

Most often, the use of drugs occurs on the street, in the yard, in the apartment where the company gathers, at a disco, at a concert, in a club.

Adolescents mostly agree with the statements: “Even a single sample of a drug substance can cause addiction”, “There are no safe drugs”.

If a teenager found out that a friend or girlfriend uses drugs, 85% would immediately end the relationship with him, 22% would continue the friendship without paying attention, 3% would ask to give it a try.

The consequences of drug use - death 87%, AIDS - 86%, 2% did not think.

Thus, in general, positive aspects prevail in the answers to this questionnaire among the majority of adolescents. So the majority are brought up in a complete family, have normal relationships with parents and peers, have a negative attitude towards bad habits, have not had sexual contacts, and do not use drugs.

But there are teenagers who have low family income, have difficulties in relationships with parents and peers, drink alcohol, and have had sexual contacts.

In connection with these results, we studied the problems of adolescents in more detail on the example of the eighth grade in the gymnasium with a humanitarian bias. At the diagnostic stage, we carried out the following methods:

Unfinished thesis "Values ​​of life"

To add a thesis means to express a well-defined judgment and indicate one's attitude to the subject.

The best option is when the phrase is printed on the card for each participant, and he adds this phrase on the card:

"The most important in life"

“You can't live life without. »

"Spheres of interest of students"

This technique is carried out with the aim of a more detailed study of the breadth of the spheres of interests of students, the severity of their interests in active activities, in communication, in entertainment.

The students were asked to evaluate the spheres of their interests on a five-point system. 1 point was given when the area is not significant for the student, 2 - when it is significant, 3 - when the area is of great importance to the student.

"Whose names will the young people write?"

Pupils are asked to answer the question: “Who do you consider outstanding people of all times and peoples and evaluate positively?”. Complete the table with three columns. In the first one, enter 10 names, in the second - three names out of the 10 named, in the third - one name out of three.

After analyzing the obtained data, we obtained the following results:

The study involved 17 girls, 6 boys.

The results of the diagnosis "Sphere of interests of adolescents":

The boys are interested in: in the first place - communication with friends, sports, physical education and communication with the opposite sex, in the second place are communication with the family and study. Boys are not at all interested in painting, drawing, modeling, occupation without a special purpose, making any products with their own hands.

Girls need communication in the family, communication with friends, self-education of the individual, study, clothing. Less interesting is the manufacture of any products with your own hands, doing nothing.

The results of the diagnosis "Values ​​of life":

The most important thing in life: family - 14 people, study and education - 6, health - 3 people.

It is impossible to live a life without a family, relatives and friends - 8, knowledge and education - 5, friends - 5, communication - 3, money - 2.

To have friends you need to be sociable - 7, be an interesting and good person - 5, be able to make friends, not be selfish, establish yourself in a society of 2 people: 100 rubles, be respected, know what to talk about with them, read a lot, have an approach 1 person each.

When I have free time, I walk - 6, sleep - 6, listen to music - 5, read - 2, spend it with my family or friends - 2, play computer - 2.

It seems to me that adults: find it difficult to answer - 7, smart people - 3, like children - 2, do not understand children - 2, sometimes consider themselves very wise, hide a lot from children, are kind to me, put pressure on me, sometimes they are not fair, also people, they can help, they love us, they are afraid for me - all 1 person each.

The best hobby is - sports - 10 people, music - 4, dancing - 3 people, TV, computer - 2, 4 students, I find it difficult to answer, collecting, assembling plastic models - 1 person each.

In five years. I will study at a university - 15 people, I will get married - 2, I find it difficult to answer - 3, I will go to the army - 1, I will work - 2 people.

I am grateful - parents - 18 people, teachers - 3 people, it is difficult to answer -1, fate - 1 person.

Most often, I want to find it difficult to answer - 5, sleep - 5, be with friends - 2, eat - 2, relax on the sea - 2, go to the skating rink - 2, peace on earth -2 (and these are boys), be born again, in guests to stand out from others.

Thus, children, in most cases, children are grateful to their parents, they aim to enter the university after school, the most important thing in their lives is family and education, they read little (1 person). The predominant hobbies of this class are sports and dancing with music.

The results of the diagnosis "Whose names will the young people write?"

A total of 50 names were named. A small spread of names in the list testifies to the average degree of autonomy of the value orientations of each student from the collective.

The first ten names fix the most general orientations of students in space. The leaders of the survey included historical figures, friends, parents with writers and poets shared an honorable third place, followed by singers, followed by political figures of our time, we note V.V. Putin, then scientists. Analysis of the data shows that students are most characterized by friendships, and then by family ties. The interest of the humanitarian class in the work of Russian writers and poets is clearly expressed, they do not forget the figures of the past (26 are related to the past of our country). This testifies to the patriotic mentality of the students and, at the same time, to the understanding of the historical merits of the figures of the past before their contemporaries. A characteristic feature of the kass is the absence of any expressed religious needs and values.

Three names fix the orientation of the students' cultural preferences. Attention is drawn to the loss or noticeable reduction in the list of scientists, historical figures (from 28 to 6), singers (from 14 to 2), which indicates a slight influence of culture on the value orientations of schoolchildren. Family ties predominate: parents, brother/sister, grandfather/grandmother. Along with famous figures, V. V. Putin, A. S. Pushkin (4) and M. Yu. Lermontov, there are such names as A. Zavorotnyuk, M. Krug and Trofim, which indicates the increased interest of students in mass culture and accepted as a collective norm.

One name: parents, Putin, 1 - grandmother, Lomonosov M. V., class teacher, M. Yu. Lermontov, M. I. Kutuzov, Mikhail Krug. It is obvious that the rest of the figures of history and culture are rather a symbolic value than a real one.

At the generalizing stage, we analyzed all the data received and found out what problems students of the eighth humanitarian grade face. After conducting an experimental study, we identified the problems of students of gymnasium No. 1 of the eighth "A" grade:

✓ Adolescents' indifference to bad habits (30%)

✓ Drink alcohol (64%)

✓ If they found out that a friend/girlfriend used drugs, they would immediately end the relationship with him/her, they would not help to get out of the current situation (85%)

✓ High school load and, consequently, the desire of children to relax, sleep

✓ Absence of any expressed religious needs and values

✓ Children's loss of interest in various types of creative activities (painting, drawing, modeling, making any products with their own hands)

✓ Increased student interest in popular culture

✓ Communication with friends in all groups of teenagers is much more preferable than communication with parents and teachers. There is a "depreciation" of adults. Adolescents want to build their own relationships, considering themselves adults, wanting more independence. These are not only features of modern reality, but also the rejection of those stereotypes of adults, that life experience that developed in other times and today does not help, but complicates the solution of problems that arise in the life of adolescents.

Adolescence is not accidentally called the crisis. Psychologists call the main feature of a teenager a “false sense of adulthood”. On the one hand, we realize that we are growing up and demand the expansion of our rights, on the other hand, childhood remains attractive to us, first of all, as a minimal responsibility. Parents often do not notice the intensive process of growing up and continue to obsessively patronize the grown child, which causes quarrels.

Relationships with peers play a huge role in our lives. We expect understanding and sympathy from a friend, as from a psychotherapist and confessor. But if a friend evaluates a situation that is significant to us differently or shows indifference at all, we suffer from loneliness.

But this does not mean that during this period we, teenagers, do not need to communicate with adults! We want to see only father and mother not as mentors, but as equal partners, not judges, but comrades-in-arms.

When a friend comes to you to complain about adversity, you don’t attack her: “Yes, you yourself are to blame for everything!” you understand that she is not looking for advice, but rather sympathy. So why is it that an unfortunate teenager, confused in life, sometimes receives only reproaches from his parents?

No one has yet been able to transfer their life experience into someone else's head. We, like air, need the experience of emotionally warm and non-judgmental communication, and the task of parents is to stretch this thread of mutual understanding from distant childhood.

Tips for parents.

Family support

Hug, kiss the child more often, praise him. Do not assume that your child already knows how much you love him. Let your love for your child be expressed in such words, tone of voice and looks that surround your love. At least once a week, dedicate an evening to a task in which all family members can be involved. Think and agree on what you would like to do together. If you have two children, give each of them the opportunity to individually spend some time with you. Talk to your children about how to make your apartment more comfortable and welcoming for them and their friends, and take steps in that direction.

Parents who are exemplary social bonds.

Every day ask your child: “How are you?”. Start with simple questions: “what was at school?” Make these conversations a habit. Really listen to the child. Let it become obvious to the children that you value their opinion, knowledge, and respect their feelings. Let the child do what he is supposed to do on his own. At the same time, he should feel that you can help. Some children are very mobile: they need to constantly run, it is difficult for them to sit still. Do not insist that the child completely calm down and sit down before you talk to him. If you choose to talk to your child, make sure there is a suitable place to do so. It might be his room. The main thing is that the TV is turned off.

Communication with parents.

Be ready to talk to your child when he needs to. Ask your child regularly about what he thinks, what he believes, what he believes. Accept that your beliefs and those of your child do not always match. Never label a child's beliefs: stupidity, childishness, nonsense. If you want to object, say better: "Now you believe in it, but over time, when you get older." Spend the whole day with your child from time to time. Go to the zoo, to the park, to nature. During this day you will talk about everything in the world. Do not think that your child is indifferent to the events taking place in the world: hunger, wars, terrorism. Many children have a hard time with the information they watch on the news on TV. You need to talk to him about what they saw and heard, and calm them down. The fewer taboo topics you have with your child, the more he will share with you. The only thing you should not talk about with your child is the intimate details of your personal life.

Uniform rules for raising children for both parents.

Agree with your spouse on what behavior you expect from the child. When raising a child, parents should adhere to common views and not contradict each other. From time to time, review your requirements for the child. Are they reasonable? Honest? Do you respect the rights of the child enough? Demand blind obedience only when it comes to the safety of the child. If you have any doubts, read the literature on parenting. Talk to your child about your parental behavioral requirements and explain why they are important to the child and the family. Say it in a language the child understands. Let it clear things up for itself. It often turns out that your requirements for the child and the child's requirements for their own behavior are more similar than different. Regularly review family rules for teenagers, they should be appropriate for their age and level of maturity. In other words, the degree of freedom of the child should depend on the degree of his responsibility. When you are not sure what to do, ask other parents, a school psychologist or experienced teachers, or church leaders for advice. They can give you helpful advice. Agree with your spouse about the punishment that will follow if the child breaks the rules you set. Be prepared to keep your word. Invite the children to talk with you about the rules and the consequences of not following them. When children are treated with respect and seriousness, they can come up with interesting ideas. See discipline more as a way to teach your child, rather than a form of punishment. Remember that good discipline comes from mutual respect and understanding, not from authoritarianism. You can not impose disciplinary requirements on the child, while showing anger or cruelty. If you feel powerless, irritated, angry, seek help from professionals. If, despite everything, the child continues to violate the rules you set, stop punishing him and find out what are the reasons for this behavior. It may turn out that the causes are related to the child's emotional or psychological problems or to an illness.

Parental control.

Be aware of who of the family members, where and when they go, what they do. This helps to build proper communication. When you go somewhere, tell the children where you are going and when you will arrive. Leave a phone number where you can be reached. This is a good example of responsible behavior that your child will emulate in the future. When the children are alone at home, call them and ask how they are doing. When your child is about to go somewhere, ask where he is going, with whom, what he is going to do with his friend and when he will return. Make the answers to all these questions a habit for your child. When your child goes to someone's house for a holiday or birthday, make sure there are adults in the house. Take your child to visit and meet the parents of the child's friends if you don't know them. Find out who the parents of your child's friends are. Agree with them that children will not be left unattended in your or their home. Make sure your home is a nice place for your child's friends.

Communication with other adults.

Give your child the opportunity to occasionally spend time with other adults: relatives, teachers, neighbors, counselors. They can have a positive effect on the child. Sometimes spend holidays with other families. Then your child will be able to communicate with a familiar married couple and their children. Many schools have psychologists and youth centers have counselors. Teach your child to seek professional help when needed. When you have guests, let them come with their children. Give your children the opportunity to be present when you have guests. Play together lotto, volleyball. Let the children participate in your conversations with other adults who have come to visit. Encourage your child to call adults they trust when they need advice. If your child has a hobby, such as music, bicycling, basketball, collecting things, give him the opportunity with your friend who has the same hobby. Let children participate in joint work with adults.

Parent involvement in school life.

Talk to each of your school teachers at least once a year. Ask your child regularly about what they are learning at school. Offer help with homework. For example, discuss the plan of the essay, give advice, pick up literature together. But it is not necessary to write an essay for a child. If the school has a parent meeting, be sure to go. Take part in the work of the parent committee. Help the school. If you don't like something at school, talk to teachers, administration. If you can't offer anything constructive to improve the situation, seek advice and ideas from other parents.

Positive school climate

Ask the child about the problems of school life: “Does he fight? Is he offended?" The more you are interested in school life, the more you know what is going on there. Familiarize yourself with the charter of the school and monitor whether the rights of students and the school's internal rules are violated

Organization of home leisure

Limit free time your child spends with friends outside the home when he is studying. Discuss the organization of free time and make this decision with the whole family. If your child works, limit work to 15 hours a week. At least four evenings a week, a teenager should spend at home with his family. Be persistent. Allow your child to invite friends home. Then he can be at home, but not alone, but with friends. Plan your time so that you are at home with your child. Eat dinner together, help with homework, or just talk. Spend your free time with your child doing activities that are enjoyable for both of you. Play, watch videos, read, ride a bike. Make your home comfortable for all family members. The kids should love it. If you often fight or don't talk to each other, see a psychologist or other professional for advice and help.

Good friends

Have your child's friends come to your house. Get to know them. May they enjoy visiting you. Ask your child about friends. How do friends learn? What are they addicted to? Who are their parents? Try to understand why your child is friends with them. If you don't like your child's friends, at least don't criticize them. Usually, criticism of friends leads to the fact that the child stops talking about them to parents.

Music lessons

Encourage your child to play music. Find an opportunity to send your son or daughter to a music school, circle. Let him choose the instrument he wants to play. Go to concerts where your child performs. Let daily listening to music become the norm of your family life. The music that the child likes should sound from time to time. If you have ever played a musical instrument yourself, set a good example and play yourself from time to time.

Additional lessons

Talk to your child about what interests him. Help him find a club or organization that suits his interests. Become an active parent at your child's school. Offer all possible assistance to the existing school board in organizing excursions, meetings, concerts, school evenings.

Realistic self-esteem

Regularly show your feelings and, above all, love to the child. Rejoice in the uniqueness of the child. Find something special in him, for example, a sense of humor, computer skills, a good voice. If your child makes a mistake or misses, do not confuse his act with a person. Never tell a child that he is bad (personality assessment is unacceptable!) Tell him that he did the wrong thing (assessment of the act is necessary). Treat the child with respect, never interrupt, talk without raising your voice. When a child asks for something and you refuse, explain the refusal.

Optimism

Striving for Success

Be an example for your child of a person who is constantly learning. Learn with your children. Visit interesting places. Read your child's books and then discuss them. Look for new books to read together. Think together about the issues that interest you. Go to the library. Inspire your child to excel in school. But don't expect or demand incredible success from him. Consider the idea that people learn from their mistakes. If your child refuses to go to school or is reluctant to go to school, try to find out what happened. Maybe the requirements for study are too high or, on the contrary, low? Does the child receive the necessary help and support from the school? Does he feel safe at school? Talk to teachers about your child's school problems. Do your best to remedy the situation. As a last resort, transfer the child to another school.

Good school performance

Ask your class teacher and teachers how your child is learning. Don't wait for diary entries. Never compare him to other children in the class or to the children of your friends and relatives. Tell your child that you expect good grades from him, not that he will be a child prodigy. Many children at some point in time study worse than usual. If the child began to study worse, do not panic. Offer your help and reward him for his success.

Eagerness to learn

Discuss with your child his life plans, values, dreams. The question that we usually ask kids: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” should gradually be supplemented by the following question: “How are you going to achieve this? What steps are you going to take to achieve this?" Let the child, while still at school, think about where he would like to continue his education. Familiarity with various educational institutions will reduce your anxiety for the future of the child and help him choose one or two areas of interest.

The desire to help people

It is important for a child to see that his parents help others. Let him sometimes buy food with you for a lonely elderly person who lives in the neighborhood, regularly call your parents, take toys and books from which he grew up in an orphanage. Create in your home an atmosphere of goodwill and care for each other and those around you.

Ability to empathize with people

Set an example of respectful relationships in the family. Do not put up with humiliation, insults, rudeness. Remember that what seems banal to an adult can be vital to a child. Try to see things through the eyes of a child. You will be able to sincerely sympathize with him when he comes to you with his problems. He, too, in turn, will learn to put himself in the place of other people and sympathize with them. Watch films whose characters help and empathize with each other. Talk to your child about what makes people care about others. When you see someone in a difficult situation, talk to your child about it. For example, when you see a homeless person, discuss how it happened that he had nowhere to live. When your child acts selfishly or offended someone, talk to him. Discuss how his behavior affects others.

Decision making skills

Do not exclude the child from family discussions that concern him personally. Let him have his say. Listen carefully. When making decisions, consider his feelings and opinions. Teach your child to make decisions, find relevant information and analyze the problem from all sides; put forward different options for its solution, weigh all the pros and cons of each of the solutions, carefully calculate the possible consequences of a particular decision; choose one of several possible and stick to the decision until the end. Remember that the seeming lack of choice (“I had no choice!”) is actually also a choice. Whoever says that simply refused to solve the problem. Explain to your child that not making a decision gives the other person an advantage. That gets the problem solved in its own way. Do not be afraid of the child's mistakes. Don't scold him for a bad choice. Do not protect him from the consequences of a wrong choice.

Ability to make friends

Tell your child why it is important to have true friends. Give examples from your own life. Invite your old friends to your house. Do things with your friends and kids so they get to know each other better. Go on vacation together, etc. If your child has few or no friends, find out how this happened. Does he need help to find friends? Does he know how to start a conversation with a stranger. How to maintain a conversation, showing the interlocutor that he is interested in him? Some children, for one reason or another, cannot find friends among their peers. One child is developed beyond his years, the other is somewhat different from most of his peers. Help your child find friends among older children or in a club of interest, in public organizations. Show your child an example of friendship between people of different cultures, nationalities, religions. Be patient and expect the same from your child. Think of joint entertainment for your child and his friends. Watch the video, drive the car.

Planning Skills

Discuss plans with the whole family. Set priorities together. Listen to the child's opinion. Give your child the opportunity to plan family events. For example, the daughter can cook dinner, and the son can think over the itinerary of a family trip out of town.

Conclusion

The development of a teenager takes a long time. And it continues until adolescence. And it does not end at all immediately after the child becomes a teenager. This path of development is always accompanied by a change in age stages, and at the same time a change in personal priorities. A change in the ways of communicating with people who take part in the growing up of a teenager, the formation of his personality. In the course of these contacts, a teenager has to deal with a huge number of different kinds of people, peers and adults.

In a word, both the future teenager, and the one who has just entered adolescence, and the one who does not say goodbye to him today or tomorrow, have to adapt to a wide variety of circumstances, to changing conditions of existence.

When a teenager begins to think about himself, analyze his "I", which is in its infancy. He needs stability. But this stability cannot be given either by the school, because significant, necessary changes are constantly taking place there, or by a group of peers. There is no stability in his own interests and thinking - after all, he constantly feels all the changes that occur both inside and outside him.

The stability, which is certainly necessary in order to truly understand oneself, in order to feel comfortable, can only be provided by a family.

Who, except for parents, except for close people, brothers, sisters, can accompany a child all his life?

After all, everything changes - kindergarten is replaced by school, elementary school moves to middle school, high school ends, and contacts begin with those with whom a teenager encounters in preparation for higher education, in the army, in the structure of other relationships. And these are all new people. And new tasks, new requirements.

And the family is that unshakable foundation that remains from birth and “for the rest of your life.” But only if the family correctly understands its tasks, correctly understands what it can and should give to a teenager, correctly organizes the entire system of relationships with him.

Many parents clutch their heads when their children are 12-13 years old. Obedient and exemplary boys and girls become rude, impudent, often deny everything that was instilled in them at home. There are, of course, children who, even at a transitional age, only please their parents, but they are a minority. Pyotr Dmitrievsky, a psychologist at the Center for Social and Psychological Adaptation and Development of Adolescents "Crossroads" at the Moscow City Psychological and Pedagogical University, told Pravmir about the most typical problems of modern times and the causes of their conflicts with parents before the start of the school year.

Problems of modern children

was born in 1975 in Leningrad. In 1999 he graduated from the Institute of Asian and African countries at Moscow State University. He worked as a translator from Japanese in the Karate Federation. Since 1999, on a voluntary basis, he has been running a teenage parish club at the Church of the Holy Unmercenaries Cosmas and Damian in Shubin (Moscow). In 2009 he received his second higher education at the Moscow City Psychological and Pedagogical University and at the Faculty of Gestalt Therapy with Children and Family of MGI. Since 2010, she has been working at the Crossroads Center for Social and Psychological Adaptation and Development of Adolescents at the Moscow State University of Psychology and Education.

— Piotr, what problems of their teenage children do parents most often complain about when they come to your center?

- The most common complaint is that he (she) "does not want anything." That is, it seems to parents that their child is not interested in anything important, too passive.

We are trying to figure out why the teenager has become less curious about the world. Sometimes, after one or several conversations, it turns out that curiosity remains, it’s just that what the teenager’s soul lies in does not fit into the parent’s value system.

Of course, the Internet has greatly changed the context of adolescent development, and many parents are concerned that the child spends too much time on the computer. We find out what exactly a teenager is looking for on the Internet, in computer games - sometimes the situation immediately softens and family members find a common language, and sometimes the problem turns out to be even more serious than the parents imagined. In these cases, long-term and painstaking work with the family is required.

For many in the younger generation, Internet communication almost completely replaces real life; for such children, a computer becomes the only way to relieve stress and cope with difficult experiences.

Another common problem that parents come to us with is the difficulty of their child in relationships with classmates. Moreover, this happens both in children who are shy, timid, and in impulsive, physically very strong children, who, because of their impulsiveness, find it difficult to regulate their behavior. These teenagers often admit in counseling that they can't keep themselves in line. Their behavior creates discomfort for both peers and teachers, but it also interferes with them.

We have special groups where for two months, moderated by two psychologists, the guys through a series of games and exercises learn to build relationships with their peers. In the first lessons, many are clamped down, afraid that if they share their experiences, others will reject them. But classes help them become more open, which is very important for communication with peers.

Participation in a group gives a teenager an excellent opportunity to learn how to build trusting relationships, notice manipulations and deal with them, get rid of stereotypes about themselves and others, and negotiate in a conflict situation.

Features of age psychology

- Isn't the teenager's tightness, his unsociableness connected with the loneliness that he feels in the family? After all, with the current rhythm of life, such inner loneliness is often in outwardly prosperous, wealthy families. Parents send their child to a good school, to clubs, circles, they don’t refuse him anything, but they get so tired at work that even on weekends they don’t find the strength to talk with him, they are not interested in his inner world.

- It happens and this, and I do not think that this is a sign of our time. Close relationships - both between spouses and between parents and children - have always required mental effort, and people instinctively tend to avoid tension. And the more effort it takes to communicate with another, the more often people have a desire to avoid this communication.

It just doesn’t happen with a teenager - he has an age crisis, a period of restructuring relationships with peers, with society, with himself, with parents, and as a human being one can understand parents who, faced with a change in their child, his rudeness, unpredictable behavior, feel powerless and retreat. And the workload seems to be a good reason - they are trying for him.

In fact, running away from problems often only exacerbates them. It is important for parents to find the strength for dialogue, given such a feature of age as the desire to acquire more independence. The desire is natural - at the age of 12-13-14, most people become more interested in communicating with their peers than with their parents. But while recognizing the adolescent's right to autonomy, to find his own path, his philosophy, his circle of acquaintances, it is important to remember that he, although he may not realize it himself, needs the support of his parents and in a collision with the boundaries built by his parents.

Growing up is impossible without such boundaries, so raising a teenager cannot be reduced to support and gentle words - it is equally important to agree with him what is possible and what is not, who has what responsibilities in the family. Explain that cohabitation in the same territory implies responsibility and the need to reach agreements. Here it is important for parents not to confuse stability and intelligibility with humiliation and cruelty.

- At the beginning of the year, everyone was shocked several times in a row. The parents of some of these teenagers did not even suspect that their children had serious problems.

- According to the observations of suicidologists known to me, there was no significant surge in suicides, it was just that the media covered such tragic cases more actively for several days. This is really risky, because teenagers tend to imitate.

I can’t say, but I fully admit that one of the teenagers would not have decided on the last fatal step if they had not heard about the suicide of another in the news. But whatever causes suicide, it never happens spontaneously. Any psychiatrist will tell you that time passes from suicidal thoughts to their implementation.

Therefore, if parents and teachers after the tragedy say that they did not notice anything, they, of course, feel sorry for them (especially the parents!), but certain efforts had to be made in order not to notice signs of a mental crisis in the child at all. In a family, this is sometimes difficult, and then it is important that adults at school can insure the teenager.

That is why, among other things, it is necessary to establish psychological services. So far, according to my observations, even in those schools where there are psychologists, they are inundated with diagnostic work. That is, they must conduct many tests to identify various features in the classroom and give recommendations to teachers - these are the requirements for them.

I think that some of these recommendations for working with a certain group can be useful and effective, but with this understanding of the work, the psychologist does not have time at all for individual work with a teenager, helping a particular student to overcome difficulties. Moreover, teachers do not have time for this - curricula become more complicated, and the number of hours allotted for a subject often remains the same. Therefore, teachers are completely focused on the transfer of knowledge, and they do not have time to build relationships with teenagers in which life experiences can be shared and supported.

Naturally, I am not generalizing. There are teachers with a capital letter, who become for their students not just subjects, but also older friends, whose opinion is authoritative for teenagers, and psychologists who delve into the experiences of each student, helping him to find mutual understanding with teachers, parents.

But, of course, I would like to see more such specialists in the modern Russian school. Some educational institutions also turn to the support of external specialists. The Perekrestok Center actively cooperates with many schools, where our psychologists conduct both group classes and individual consultations.

—— Do children often have a desire to withdraw, alienation from adults begins with poor performance at school? I remember from my childhood that many teachers immediately put an end to those who did not do well in their subject. Sometimes parents stop believing in their child, and this inevitably leads to low self-esteem, complexes, which can take years to overcome.

You have touched on a very topical issue. In psychology, there is even a term “stigmatization”, which means giving a person a derogatory label, as a result of which he himself can believe in his worthlessness.

Of course, teenagers are especially sensitive to such labels. There are schools that practice an individual approach to each child, but there are still not so many of them. Some teachers do not have enough strength or competence to work with more complex children. And now, instead of figuring out why a child with a intact intellect does not show interest in learning, impotence teachers begin to tell the child how stupid, unlucky he is. They probably do this with the best of intentions - they hope to awaken creative activity in him through shame. This is a deliberately hopeless system of education, but despite its hopelessness, it is widespread in Russian schools.

Parents usually fall into one of two extremes in such situations. Either they unconditionally take the side of the teachers and begin to put pressure on the teenager with them, or, on the contrary, they say that the child is beautiful, and the school is to blame for everything. Both positions are not constructive, but perhaps the lesser of two evils is when parents protect a "good" child from "bad" teachers.

The support of adults is necessary for the child, therefore such support is better than none. Of course, it would be more adult-like to sit down and sort out the conflict in detail: what is the teacher's complaint, what is the teenager's dissatisfaction with? If the conversation goes in this vein, it will not be far to discover common goals and achieve clear agreements between the conflicting parties.

—And if there is no support, is it likely that the teenager will withdraw or even leave home?

In any case, a teenager needs a circle in which he is accepted and appreciated. If he does not find it in socially acceptable forms, he will look in virtual reality or in asocial groups. Some really get in touch with yard criminal companies, but today more often teenagers leave loneliness for virtual reality. Outwardly, it looks more safe - they do not sniff glue, do not steal car radios from cars, but for the psyche it is still a risk.

- But even before the advent of the Internet, there were children who preferred solitude to games with peers. Including many saints, for example,. It is clear that monasticism is a path for a few, and it is impossible to orient an ordinary child towards it, but, for example, in the Soviet atheistic society, some children spent all their time reading books or math problems. And some of them have been realized in science. Of course, such children are also a minority, but they exist. Is it right to impose stereotypes on them? Are we breaking them like this?

- I fully admit that there are such children, and, of course, it is wrong to break them. In general, psychologists today are trying to move away from the cliche "norm-deviation". But in my practice, so far short, I have come across cases where a teenager has a need for communication, which he could not realize due to negative experience. That is, his isolation was not an organic choice, but the result of failures that gave rise to certain attitudes. Apparently, in the cases you are talking about, parents do not seek our help.

And yet I think that hanging on the Internet can be more harmful than hours of reading or fascination with the exact sciences. Naturally, one cannot agree with those who see only evil on the Internet. The Internet provides quick access to information, the ability to communicate regularly with peers from other cities and countries, practice a foreign language, and expand knowledge in other subjects. But using the internet has its risks. It is too early to draw general conclusions - these risks are just beginning to be studied, but there are already some observations.

For example, it is safe to say that when the Internet becomes the main, if not the only means of communication, the user's ability to be in relationships with real people is deteriorating. It is very difficult for teenagers who come to our groups (and most of them spend all their free time in networks) to understand the emotions of the interlocutor. They are well versed in the texts, but they cannot learn something new about a person by his look, intonation. Yes, and they hear badly - they are not used to a lively dialogue. In addition, it is difficult for them to keep their attention on one thing - after all, the Internet allows you to be in several windows at the same time: music, video, correspondence, forum. While multitasking they feel like a fish in the water, but it is not easy for them to focus on one task.

The Internet differs significantly from the book in this way. Reading a book is a useful pastime (of course, if the book is good), developing, hardly replaceable, but still monotonous, reduced to receiving and assimilating textual information. There are not so many people for whom this occupation can replace everything else. On the Internet, there are texts, and videos, and music, and pictures, and communication, and the opportunity for creativity. It turns out that many needs for information, communication, entertainment can be satisfied without leaving the monitor.

Therefore, there are much more children who hang out on the Internet than there are book children at home who do not seek to communicate. Most of these children have a need for communication, they just prefer virtual communication to real communication. As more research is carried out, we will better understand how to experience this next civilizational shift, comparable to the invention of printing or the use of fire, and what risks to the development of the psyche the spread of the Internet and computer games poses.

Overcoming the psychological crisis

—— The tradition of psychological assistance in Russia is just emerging. Maybe that's why some parents, faced with certain problems of the child, immediately take him to a psychiatrist?

Yes, such cases do happen. Parents feel their impotence in some moments of raising a teenager and a keen desire to overcome this moment of crisis as quickly as possible. The easiest way in this situation is to attract some external force. For some, this is a psychiatrist, for others, a cadet corps, but the logic is the same: instead of entering into a dialogue, use force in the form of a pill or a paramilitary structure (“They will make a man out of you!”).

I want to be understood correctly - I am not against the cadet corps. There are guys who like it. If a child has an interest in paramilitary games, a strict structure, clear tasks, a desire to be in a team, he will probably be interested in the cadet corps. But I am categorically against the cadet corps as a repressive measure of parents, when the interests and characteristics of the child are not taken into account at all. And such a solution to problems comes to the mind of parents, perhaps, no less than the idea of ​​​​a visit to a psychiatrist. In desperation, the parents decide to "push" the teenager into a rigid hierarchical system - since he refuses to obey them, let him obey other people's uncles. In adolescence, it is very important to acquire the experience of partnerships, and such an educational measure does not contribute to this.

I have not yet encountered the consequences of such measures - in my memory and in my practice there were several cases when, as a result of conversations with me or my colleagues, parents abandoned the idea of ​​sending their child for re-education to the cadet corps and found a solution to the problem in negotiations and clarification of mutual resentment.

—- And did you encounter the consequences of treatment by a psychiatrist when this was not necessary?

- It often happens that a child who, at the suggestion of his parents, is observed by a psychiatrist and takes medication, does need medication at the moment, but in combination with psychotherapeutic work. Such a combination is necessary not only for children, but also for adults, if we are not talking about severe mental pathology and the person’s intellect is preserved. Well, in Russian psychiatry, the emphasis is often on drug treatment.

But we, of course, do not question the appointment of a doctor. The last thing is to compete with a specialist in another field, it is much more important to fit into the situation that developed before the family came to us. Still, cases when a doctor mistakenly prescribes psychotropic drugs to a child are rare. It is simply better to start medication and psychotherapeutic help at the same time.

And by the way, if the parents first bring the child to us, it happens. We see that if a child needs not only our help, but also medical help, psychologists are taught this, and without refusing to work with the family, we recommend parents to show him to a psychiatrist. We have acquaintances of child psychiatrists, in whose sensitivity and qualifications we are confident. Therefore, it is more correct, in my opinion, not to drag the child immediately to a psychiatrist, but first to come with him to a psychologist. Except, of course, in cases where mental abnormalities are obvious. But this is a separate issue. The Perekrestok center works with teenagers who do not have severe pathologies.

- Many believers, including priests, said that at a transitional age, their children began to rebel, stopped going to church. Experienced confessors advise in such cases to accept this rebellion as a fait accompli, not to force the child to go to church, but to pray for him, hoping that with God's help he will return to church life after some time. And some do come back. But the majority of Orthodox parents are neophytes, and it is unusual for neophytes to listen to the advice of spiritually more experienced people, but they do want everything to be according to the rules, piously. I don’t know, however, whether people with such problems come to your center - after all, neophytes, to put it mildly, are very suspicious of psychology.

“Nevertheless, this problem is just familiar to me. You are right - in my memory no one came here with such problems, but since 1999 I have been leading the teenage parish club at the church of Cosmas and Damian in Shubin. And there I encountered such cases more than once.

We have already discussed with you that in adolescence, the child begins to assert himself, wants to be an adult, independent. And many during this period of self-affirmation reject the values ​​that their parents instilled in them. Accordingly, children from believing Orthodox families begin to rebel against the Church and Christianity as the main value of their parents.

Like any situation that is difficult to control, the anti-church rebellion of children can lead parents into confusion and confusion. And here, too, there are attempts to solve the problem by attracting a rigid external structure, in this case, a religious-ascetic one. The initial goal of such a practice is to promote the spiritual growth of a person, to make his life richer, more interesting, freer, but parents who are zealous beyond reason can use it to “educate” a child who has gotten out of hand.

Humanly, the feelings of parents, the fear for their children, the desire to protect them from tragic mistakes are understandable. But without checking the world for strength and receiving feedback from this world, a child will not be able to become an adult, and mistakes are inevitable along the way. And parents always have a choice: either to provide support and watch how the child sometimes enjoys life, and sometimes receives negative feedback, experiencing pain from his mistakes, or trying to drive him into some kind of cage, where, most likely, there will be no mistakes, but creative growth is also impossible.

Despite the futility of the second option, many parents, out of fear for the future, prefer it. If we talk about the experience of anti-church rebellion by believing parents, then I remember cases when people tried to forcefully drag a child to confession, or send him to an Orthodox camp with strict discipline in the hope that there he would learn to regulate his command.

As a rule, this does not happen, the teenager still finds a way to bypass the restraining mechanisms, continues his own worldview searches, comprehends his relationship with God. If he does not find an opportunity for such reflection, then, it happens, he severely breaks off relations. Such teenagers either go into open conflict, or, worse, go into hidden opposition, when outwardly all the attributes are in place (handkerchiefs, a humble look, an unctuous voice), but at the first opportunity they go into even more "dressing" than their comrades, rioters openly. Any ignorance by adults of the needs of a teenager, including the need to build their own meanings, their own philosophy, leads to psychological problems.

About modern teenagers and their parents

- Metropolitan Anthony of Surozh said that people often draw up a project that another person must comply with. For example, parents know in advance what makes their children happy. Is it often the cause of generational conflicts and alienation of children that they do not match the parental scenario?

- It seems to me that any normal parent has some ideas and ideas about what should come out of his child. It is impossible to raise children without such ideas. It is impossible to demand from parents one hundred percent spontaneity and joy from any self-expression of the child. It's good that there are ideas - they set some kind of family traditions.

But we are all born with different abilities, inclinations, characteristics of the nervous system, and often what happens to a child does not meet parental expectations. Now, if parents do not want to respond flexibly to this reality, difficulties arise, sometimes leading to serious conflicts.

It is better to immediately understand the reasons for such a discrepancy. It may not be only in the child - it would be good for parents to understand the motives for which they have developed precisely such ideas about education. After all, it is no secret that sometimes it is not love for a child that is primary, but the desire to prove something to mom or girlfriends.

And sometimes the problematic behavior of a teenager is a consequence, a reaction to the fact that a crisis occurs in the parental couple. So we must try to understand where the showdown with relatives and friends is, and where is the fate of the child, which, I hope, is more precious than all insults and competition. A visit to a family psychologist, a study of events taking place in the family, can help here.

Maybe not an entirely appropriate comparison, but I remembered how Kuklachev was asked why he was doing so well. And he replied that he always watches which cat has a predisposition to what, and he follows this, and does not torture the animal for the sake of his ideas. In my opinion, this principle is all the more suitable for educating a person. If parents are sensitive to the interests and abilities of the child, it is more likely that he will develop harmoniously.

The parents themselves were children, teenagers. Why do they often fail to understand that their children's problems are related to age? Have you forgotten about your childhood or has our information age created new problems?

Both factors play a role. Much of your childhood is really forgotten over the years. Quite often, a mother, complaining about a child, says that there was nothing like this in her childhood, and when we start talking with her, it turns out that she also had conflicts with her parents and got into risky situations. When mom remembers this, she is surprised at herself. Myths about one's past, of course, make it difficult to establish a dialogue with children, to understand their problems.

But the context has also changed. If 200 years ago people from generation to generation lived approximately the same way, in one way, now civilizational shifts occur during the life of one person. In this sense, parents and children literally live in different civilizations - on the same territory, but their ways of organizing life are very different. Nevertheless, there are things that unite people from different civilizations. For example, food or a trip to the sea. Things are quite mundane, but through them you can come to a joint deeper interest. Only in order for the meeting of generations to take place, both adults and adolescents require creative efforts. This is the challenge of the time.

Another feature of the current era is that the authoritarian parenting system may have been suitable for Soviet civilization, but if you raise a child this way today, it seems that it will be difficult for him in the modern world. Now, to be successful, you need to be able to respond flexibly to non-standard situations and have the skill of negotiation. And where to buy it, if not in the family?

Interviewed by Leonid Vinogradov

The world of the modern teenager and its problems.

Introduction.

Transitional age is one of the most difficult ages in life, a time that cannot be dealt with in any way - you just need to survive it. A lot has been said about him, and, most likely, even more will be said. I chose this topic, first of all, because now I myself am a teenager and the same problems are close to me, because what our planet will be like in twenty years depends on our generation.

My goal was to identify the main problems of the modern teenager, what is relevant at the moment. To do this, I conducted several surveys, the results of which will be presented in the work. I also tried to answer the question:

How can parents and adolescents themselves, if not mitigate adolescence, then at least make sure that this age does not leave serious consequences throughout life.

1. The main problem that is relevant for our time is the abundance of information.

Computers and the Internet, an abundance of literature, music - all this disorientates a person, especially a teenager.

There are hundreds of roads ahead of him, and he thinks he knows everything about life. Youthful maximalism manifests itself, but let's think about what a teenager really knows in this sea of ​​information? Most of the time, his knowledge is shallow.

With the advent of modern technology, the Internet and the computer, the problems have deepened. Even such an invention of mankind as the Internet often brings harm. (slide The influence of the Internet on a teenager)

The main problem with the Internet is that it has no boundaries. There you can do whatever you want, and no one will punish you for it - an illusion of permissiveness appears. And nothing protects teenagers from information that they absolutely do not need to know.

Where is the guarantee that tomorrow a twelve-year-old child will not enter the club of drug addicts and learn about drugs from their words, will not enter a sect?

There you can introduce yourself as anyone you want, write whatever you want, there is a lot of useful things, but there are also a lot of negative ones. But the abundance of information is pouring down on us not only from the Internet, but also from books, from newspapers, from the words of acquaintances. It is difficult for adults to perceive this information that no one filters, but what about teenagers?

The situation is aggravated by the fact that they do not have clear plans for life. In Soviet times, everything was clear and understandable for teenage pioneers. A young man or girl, after graduating from school, went to college, and then to work. Everyone knew that you would study poorly - you would go to the factory, and the goal of everyone was to get good grades. There was a clear system of values, everyone understood “what is good and what is bad”, and tried to be like their parents. Drunkenness and laziness were nowhere held in high esteem.

2. Now a terrible thing is happening - a change in the value system. Moral values ​​have changed even among many adults, now everyone is sure that anyone can be achieved with the help of money, but what about teenagers?

They didn’t really understand life anyway, and instead of normal, healthy values ​​- study, career, sports, love - they are offered an “easy” system that does not bring any benefit, but, on the contrary, is harmful.

When underage teenagers jump from the roof, trying to prove to each other who is the most courageous, this is not so bad. The real horror begins when it becomes normal for a boy or girl to skip school, not do homework, smoke and drink - first beer on a bench, and then, perhaps, something stronger. They will understand their mistake later, but then it will be too late, and they will carry away many more "naive" teenagers with them. And even worse, they will gradually get used to it and will no longer be able to force themselves to come to their senses, sacrificing health and life itself to this “easy” value system.

Teenagers are confident that in the future they will be able to get a profession and education. Or .. just do not think about the future? And do not think that teenagers are so bad and completely stupid. They are the same people, but people who “got lost” in the world, subconsciously choosing an easy and preferred path, followed the lead of the herd, forced themselves to think that smoking and skipping is cool.

And any teenager, even the most “neglected”, can think sensibly and logically, wants to have his own family and a well-paid job in the future. And everyone understands how ostentatious "coolness" is harmful, and, probably, very few of these teenagers want their children to grow up like him.

Most adolescents are characterized by increased conformity - they are very dependent on the opinions of the people around them, in particular, their friends. They listen to music “the same as everyone else”, even wear the same clothes - just remember about informal groups. And when "so-called friends" say "Try it, it's cool!" Not everyone can refuse. The fear of being branded a coward, of being different from the crowd, or of becoming a stranger in one's group enters. So today's teenagers try to drink and smoke, they get used to it very quickly.

I also conducted a survey among 7 classes to the question “Why do you love your team?”

· in the first place was the answer "It's fun, interesting with them."

· on the second - "They will always support in difficult times, I can entrust them with my secrets." And many teenagers, if there is no trusting atmosphere in the family, will go to tell their secrets to their friends.

But are their friends always as loyal and reliable as they think? In a group, a teenager feels at home, and sometimes he listens to his friends more than to his parents, because it seems to him that his parents simply do not understand him.

And parental suspicions that a teenager will get into bad company are very often justified. But how to make sure that the child does not fall under bad influence, retains his opinion and does not succumb to provocations? After all, it depends primarily on the parents.

A lot has already been said about the trusting atmosphere in the family, but perhaps many parents have noticed that at the age of 12-14 the child becomes more alienated, less often talks about events at school, more often he is silent. And even if the same good atmosphere is preserved in the family, he moves away from the family.

If at the age of six the child was sure that his parents should be obeyed, at eleven he sees that someone disobeyed, nothing happened ... and the question creeps into the child’s head - why, in fact, do you need to obey?

And a little later, teenagers in the group have their own rules, according to which if you are afraid - a coward, if you cry and complain - too. Why do teenagers jump from garages, walk around construction sites - after all, everyone understands that this is dangerous? Risk is important to them - and not only, they create for themselves a semblance of a critical situation in order to reveal their own I. If I can die, break, then I exist. The characteristics of oneself are immediately revealed - what am I? If I overcame fear, I didn’t get scared, I didn’t scream, I’m brave, if I was afraid to go, I’m a coward. You evaluate yourself, you are evaluated by others. Little by little it becomes shameful and complain to parents.

Again, no matter how parents try to understand a teenager, they do not always succeed. And not all teenagers like it when they are trying to understand, but do not understand, they feel false and beware of it. It seems to parents that everything is clear to them, but in fact, for most parents, the company of a teenager and the relationship in it is a dark forest.

So, maybe you need to occupy a teenager in any way you like, begin to control him, away from sin?

At 12-14 years old, children already consider themselves adults, and they do not like it when someone controls them. Adults don't like being actively coerced either, so why should kids like it? There were cases when children ran away from home, thus expressing their protest.

But it is even worse when parents do little to the child and give him complete freedom. Teenagers themselves understand this and are aware of it.

I conducted a survey among seventh graders. Classmates were asked which parents would you like more:

And - those who give you complete freedom and are not at all interested in your affairs,

B - those who are interested in you, attentive to you, but do not allow much, demand a lot from you and try to constantly occupy your leisure time.

The majority chose option B. Schoolchildren themselves understand this, and they would like to communicate more with their parents. And it is from their parents that they still expect help.

I also agree with this conclusion. It is the parents, the people around him who will help him cope with adolescence. A universal system simply does not exist here, each teenager is individual.

And only teenagers themselves can survive this age, fill their bumps and try not to do stupid things, for which they will then be ashamed of all their lives.

But someone has to help a young person navigate this vast and incomprehensible world for him, give him the right target settings so that he himself knows what the risk is fraught with, and most importantly, be there for him during this difficult period. Teenagers are aware of this as well. Understand us and help us cope with our problems.

Adolescence, as many adults say, is a very difficult period for children who have not yet become adults. In our country, it is generally accepted that if a child has entered a transitional period, then expect trouble. Taking this information seriously, teenagers themselves believe that they are supposed to lead a wild life at this age, argue with their parents and do everything the way they want. No one thinks that the problems of adolescents directly depend on us - adults who, in theory, should help children overcome this period of life with the greatest benefit for the health and intelligence of a teenager. However, many parents and teachers in schools believe that only prohibitions can bring up the correct behavior of a teenager, but this is far from the case. This is where many children and alcoholism, drug addiction, etc. come from.

Today, smoking is a huge threat to the health and development of future generations. As a result of the early onset of smoking experience (starting at 10-11 years old), by the end of high school, 20% of children become chain smokers who are addicted and smoke 10 to 40 cigarettes a day. And this applies to both boys and girls. With schoolchildren, by the eighth grade, about 40% of students already begin to smoke, and many of them, especially girls, do not consider smoking 1-2 cigarettes a day.

Alcoholism is the scourge of our society! The culture of society is so low that the alcohol campaigns carried out by manufacturing firms are becoming more and more intensified, their profits are growing every year, and the health of young people is deteriorating. In recent years, cases of bronchial asthma, gastritis, cirrhosis, etc. have become more frequent. All this is due to early dependence on alcohol and smoking.

And who will solve the problems of teenagers in our society? The unformed psyche and social uncertainty of adolescents does not allow them to independently understand the issues of a healthy lifestyle and social adaptation.

Recently, all of the above problems have been joined by the problem of teenagers' enthusiasm for virtual communication. This is an all-consuming social network that holds the mind of a teenager in a voluntary captivity. Many parents are glad that their child "does not hang around with just anyone" and "does not drink vodka with a company", but sits quietly at home near the computer and stares endlessly at the monitor screen. But, as doctors and psychologists point out, the influence of an electronic "friend" is no less harmful than alcohol or drug addiction. As computer addiction develops, health deteriorates, posture and vision are disturbed, diseases of the gastrointestinal tract develop, but the worst thing is that the child's personality changes. He becomes withdrawn, stops communicating with peers, and eventually loses his communication skills altogether. Such teenagers become socially unadapted; in adult life they cannot create a family, have children, take responsibility for their actions, etc. This is a huge problem of the younger generation, the problems of adolescents at the state level, since the number of able-bodied population is decreasing every year, the percentage of disability is growing, and the birth rate is falling.

The problems of teenagers are the problems of our society! By our example, we must show children how to develop physically and intellectually, grow in professional activities, and build interpersonal relationships. All this must be explained and demonstrated in an accessible language, and not turn away and wave your hand. Because this is our future.