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    • Spiritual father my child. What is the best way to fast? Why food creates passion

    13.08.2021

    - Father Vladislav, tell us: a confessor, a spiritual father - what kind of person is this? What is its role in the lives of believers?

    – If such a question is not directly expressed aloud, then in silence it is born in the soul of every person who takes the first steps towards the Church or in the Church. It is almost inevitable, judging by the life of modern Russian Orthodox Church.

    Very many people, if not almost all, in the past 20 years came to the Church and to church life in adulthood, or were baptized from childhood, but did not receive the appropriate church upbringing at home. Or, even if they did receive it, then at a certain moment there still came a feeling of the need for true self-consciousness and true free one's own, but at the same time in line with the church life of behavior.

    And then people who have a lack of knowledge of the Church, a lack of understanding of the Church, a lack of understanding of themselves, a lack of knowledge about what means to live the life of the Church, and more broadly, the life of the Christian, the lack of knowledge even of what relates to the field of moral life, and how the norms of moral life should be fulfilled, begin to feel the need for spiritual guidance. Many beginners in church life are immediately drawn to ascetic heights. But we note that in the modern understanding, this area and the content of spiritual life, which is called asceticism and which was previously considered separately from ethics, is now, as a rule, increasingly considered within the framework of ethical knowledge and, accordingly, ethical behavior.

    Many questions related to how to understand reality and how to live in relation to this reality are hidden in the conditions of an inexperienced and illiterate consciousness for someone who is looking for both true experience and good literacy. Of course, for comprehending both of them, there always remains such a great opportunity as books An opportunity that never goes away. But books are not always available. Because, let's say, the situation in Moscow in this sense differs sharply from the situation in many provincial and even large cities - if here the absolute wealth is bookish, then there is absolute poverty. And, besides, in the current wealth - in the sea of ​​​​books - it is rather easy to choke and become disoriented than to swim out and get the right bearings. If only because the books reveal different approaches and different understandings of what Christianity is in general and in relation to many particular ones.

    All this naturally leads to consciousness, or at least to the feeling that you cannot cope with this situation yourself, and you cannot cope with the help of books either. Therefore, people who are the most conscious and understand that they are faced with the tasks of the true formation and restoration of spiritual life, and those who go to the fulfillment of tasks blindly, and who use various fragmentary materials, realize that there is only one possibility for genuine Christianization.

    Difficulties entering the parish

    This is an absolute entry into the life of the Church, and thus into the life of the parish. Because entry into the life of the Church is not a theory, and it is carried out through entry into the life of the parish, since the parish is the realization of the revelation of the life of the Church in its entirety. But this turns out to be a difficult task for many, even psychologically, because there are people with an introverted content, for whom communication itself is a great difficulty, and even more so, joining a community.

    Even if they managed to enter, they can more or less move further, but the initial steps are extremely painful for them. Especially when they feel ignorant, and there are a lot of know-it-alls around, and everyone already seems to be so freely oriented that just a hint of a word is enough, as another listener immediately perceives the word as a whole and rushes somewhere to fulfill this word. And this leads to even more confusion.

    It's good when people are open, extroverted. When they also have a willingness to humbly accept their imperfections, and blows that can sometimes be painfully given from different sides. Then things will go well for them. But different circumstances can only partly contribute to the formation of their true experience of life, and partly, on the contrary, do not favor them. In such cases, almost the only option is to live under guidance.

    But it is precisely here that most often a stumbling block occurs, since even people who truly know well and fully what belongs to the field of personal psychology and, accordingly, the field of a certain understanding of people, are not so many. Because most people are based on general ideas about human nature and basic moral standards. The diverse experience of life and these people themselves does not allow them to be true leaders, because although they have somewhat more experience, knowledge and understanding of life, but almost no one does not understand, but does not enter into such a simple, obvious thought, that each person's experience is unique. Everyone messes around with traditional recipes, and traditional recipes are only half right. The second half lies in the individuality of a person.

    The most honest people are looking for faster development of their church life. Those who are less exacting take things easier. They stand in church, pray as best they can, carry out some kind of communication, read books, and things move forward by themselves. But still, the most honest and prompt people want the work of establishing their church life to proceed faster.

    In such cases, the search for someone who will help find the right path is natural. But are there always such true paths, as well as people who can help find them, this is the next, very big question. First of all, what is needed is not so much a confessor in that exact, deep, old sense of the word, which was previously understandable and known (and now would rather be a romantic embodiment of this old knowledge), but a person, sometimes not necessarily in the holy order, but with experience having knowledge, having love, doing good. Having human attentiveness, readiness to sacrifice one's time, readiness to show, to help those who come to see what they really need. And if necessary, answer his questions. Respond with humility, realizing that it is not safe to answer different questions without having "sanction". Moreover, the questions are deeply internal.

    Although those questions that relate to the mediocrity of church and spiritual life, many who have several years of experience know the answers and can answer them. Because in this respect the answers are pretty standard. And you can answer standard questions without any special personal talents, except for the gift of being intelligible, convincing and reasoned in your answers. In this sense, implicit and widespread work is going on - in some churches there is more, in others less, but there are always those to whom the newcomers approach and ask something. Another thing is that this is done randomly. But it would hardly be good in such cases, the finally adopted system, or maybe it would be better for everything to happen somehow so spontaneously.

    – Are there any peculiarities in the relationship between the spiritual father and spiritual children?

    – Most often, the main thing is not really understood, that the relationship between a spiritual father and a spiritual child is a concept and reality that is deep and substantive. But for this, neither the conditions of obedience and obedience, nor the demands and claims that spiritual fathers without fail and as quickly as possible teach everything that they know themselves are absolutely not necessary.

    The spiritual father's soul hurts for spiritual children

    The spiritual father actually enters inwardly, not necessarily with long words and reflections, into the life of spiritual children. In the life of those who is with him- simply because he loves them, and his soul hurts for them. And just by the mere fact that their soul hurts, and it is a great joy for them, they find themselves together and walk the path of salvation together. And he tries to lead them to Christ.

    The spiritual father is always a little ahead, because this is how he was placed both by the mysterious manifestation of his spiritual life as the first person and by his love, which has an extensive direction. Because the expanding heart contains everyone. In any case, everyone who resorts to it. Thus, in the community, that spiritual content of life is realized, in which the spiritual father, with a privately spoken word, a preached word, with all the example of his life, simplicity in communication, modesty, unpretentiousness, undemanding - but not spiritual, but undemanding for himself, achieves much greater than constant teaching and demanding obedience.

    Because then his spiritual child sees before him an example of a good experience of spiritual life, which, moreover, is not distant by the pages of a book or some story, but, on the contrary, is extremely close by direct and personal communication. Then this is a real spiritual father who takes care of his children. Takes care of the very fact of their common movement.

    – The Orthodox Church begins with the apostles. But they, as you know, did not have spiritual fathers. How did they appear? Were there confessors in the Church before its separation, or is this a purely Orthodox phenomenon?

    – The apostles had one Teacher – Christ. As for the spiritual fathers, they have been known since antiquity. The Church then was one. In the modern sense, apparently, spirituality appeared rather late. Because there were simply priests as performers of the sacraments, but these were not clerks, but individuals filled with a special fiery life. Each sacrament for them was a manifestation of spiritual divine fire.

    At the beginning, in the first centuries, such burning during the service was also due to a special situation, a special charisma. Pay attention to how extremely simple the requirements are offered by the First Apostolic Council for Christians who are baptized from pagans: do not eat strangled things, do not eat things sacrificed to idols, and do not wish for others what you do not wish for yourself. That's the whole set. Now even the general confession includes more requirements.

    – Were these requirements applied to the clergy or to all Christians?

    - To all those who are baptized from the Gentiles. And spirituality appeared mainly in the monastic environment. His real triumphantness belongs rather to the fourth century and beyond. And for the monastic environment, obedience, in addition, had a necessary disciplinary character, without which it was impossible to do. Then these demands of obedience then began to acquire a spiritual and mystical character. The famous example from the Paterik, which was used by Tarkovsky in his film, when a novice carried water in order to only have time to water the tree in the morning and grow the tree of obedience, with its magnificent fruits.

    This story is hardly a mere legend, rather a real past, recorded incident. Of course, such a case cannot be universal, but in some respects it is exemplary. And such obedience, which requires a common spiritual and mystical feeling, being unique on the one hand, on the other hand, is like a beacon. Simultaneously both a model and a type of movement. Dynamic type and dynamic pattern.

    Of course, not in the sense of achieving the same goal directly, but in order to know that this is a good model for understanding, for comprehension. But it was possible precisely in the situation when the confessor and the novice both had special divine gifts. One is clergy, the other is obedience. In addition to these gifts, everything turns into a theater.

    Beware of being addicted to confessors

    “Establishing human relationships is never easy. It is even more difficult when such soul-spiritual connections are affected, such as a spiritual father - a spiritual son. What should be warned about on both sides?

    – I can say that I am inclined to treat modern clergy with some caution. Having been brought up from a young church age on the appropriate care of St. Ignatius (Bryanchaninov), who turned out to be the first spiritual writer whom I began to read, and therefore he remained forever one of the most dear to me. Sometimes in his letters there is no longer just a precaution, but he directly says: "Beware of being carried away by confessors." In the same letters, the theme of a cautionary nature runs in red. Even then, he began to see the possible and most common (and this then, in the most prosperous times) distortions of the right order and the right relationship.

    What can we say about how often the addictions to the confessor work subtly, and the confessor not only does not notice these addictions, but also continues to cultivate them in relation to himself on the part of spiritual children. This is how idols grow up in the eyes of spiritual children, and this is how the whole undertaking of confession perishes. Especially when it tries to be built on some principles that are outwardly connected with the feelings of the ancient priesthood, with the feelings of its significance.

    And then it seems to people that they come to the real primary sources of spiritual life, which are manifested in the priest and in their relationship with this priest. But in fact - one caricature and disgrace, because these confessors do not have the high gifts that the ancient holy fathers had. And the demand for obedience that comes from them and is often perceived by spiritual children as devotion, in fact, for the most part, is not based on anything.

    Obedience is sometimes considered obligatory even in those cases when it comes to everyday life, when they ask for advice in everyday matters. And then, with complete peremptoryness, such confessors give advice right and left. As if each of them, at least Ambrose Optinsky, to whom the same Ignatius Brianchaninov (or rather, in general to Optina's experience) treated with some caution, fearing if there was acting there. “Soul-destructive acting and the saddest comedy are the elders who take on the role of the ancient holy elders, not having their spiritual gifts” (1.72). He was very cautious in terms of the possibility of any, even the slightest, acting, which immediately disgusted him deeply.

    But it is even worse when confessors “take on the role,” and these are again the words of St. Ignatius. “They take on the role of the ancient great elders and lead in matters of spiritual life,” which they themselves understand very insufficiently and superficially, if not mistakenly, and, thereby, turn out to be blind leaders of the blind guided. And "if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into the pit."

    But it certainly does not follow from this that in general the experience of spiritual guidance, when it is the simplest, is useless. On the contrary, the simpler and more undemanding, and more undemanding on both sides, the relationship between the spiritual child and confessor, the more likely the success of this work. If a confessor is humble enough, has a good moral experience of life, great inner firmness, deep, real, without any caricatures, churching, then even with his appearance and behavior, he sometimes teaches more (without even striving for any kind of teaching) than seeming teachers teach with pompous words. great confessors of the present time.

    And besides, he gradually brings their communication to the most important thing, that both gradually enter into a true and simple experience. Christian life. This experience is more or less corrected by the communication of both of them with each other, because mistakes are still possible on both sides. For example, in the form of incorrect spiritual advice, or because the priest did not see some of the personal characteristics of the one who approached him, or, even after seeing, did not realize an alternative answer, which in some situation would have turned out to be more correct.

    Nothing, a mistake is not the situation when you need to immediately begin to finally “weep your misery” and fall into unconditional despondency, turning into despair. A mistake is just a good reason to improve and be on the path of the perfect. Because the path of the perfect is the path of constant rectification.

    Can a priest be wrong?

    - That is, the confessor can make mistakes?

    - Certainly.

    – And how should his spiritual son or just a parishioner feel about this, realizing that the spiritual father was mistaken?

    – If the priest is happy and humbly ready to quite concretely see and agree with his mistakes, if, on the other hand, the spiritual child does not make a tragedy out of these mistakes, realizing that the confessor, although he has greater spiritual experience, is not absolute, and therefore can also make mistakes, and mistakes must also be corrected, then a correction is obtained.

    If the confessor, being a proud person and completely unaware of his mistakes, continues to insist on his mistake, there can be very great harm.

    – In that case, how complete should obedience to the confessor be? Because sometimes I had to read about literal, absolute obedience. For example, according to the recollections of the spiritual children of the same Optina elders, advice was asked about everything, down to mechanical actions - what book to read or which direction to go.

    - What book to read is just not a mechanical action. It can be very good way management and assistance in the spiritual life of a person to whom some books may not be useful (even quite normal ones with good Christian content) as untimely. On the other hand, the offer to neophytes to read « Philokalia », so necessary for the monastic experience, can ruin beginners.

    By the way, what is also very important for a confessor is the understanding that the world constantly raises new problems. And you need to try to see the solution of these problems, just like new, if not in essence, then at least in terms of forms, new principles, new content. Starting from such simple things as the attitude to the Internet, to television.

    - And the attitude towards sins is changing?

    – The attitude towards sins fundamentally remains the same. It cannot change, and in this sense, the slogan of the ancient fathers “better death than sin” can be left forever as a slogan and banner. Better death than sin.

    Another thing is that, entering into the realm of a concrete examination of the sinful life of the person who approaches the confessor, one must see and help him see his sin, which for the time being can be treated more or less condescendingly, let it go as not something that is due, but as temporarily allowed. So, on the one hand, not to indulge in sin and not to cultivate it, and on the other hand, to know the measure, so that, knowing that the energy is not unlimited, not to let a person break down from his own despondency and impotence.

    In order to see what is important, one needs a spiritual mind, and it does not necessarily coincide with a practical mind, with an estimate, if the confessor has it, or with his knowledge of ancient traditions. But, in any case, the experience, when there is an automatic demand for absolute obedience, does not at all lead to the fulfillment of the main task, which is to educate in a person who comes to a priest, true spiritual freedom.

    Otherwise, he came from one kind of slavery and falls into another kind of slavery. And he will never know what spiritual freedom is. Moreover, this matter is rather delicate and requires a very serious approach. Moreover, not even all priests understand what this spiritual freedom is, and therefore they simply cannot educate their disciple within the framework of spiritual freedom. All these obediences are actually important as long as they bring up in a person an understanding of how a spiritually free life is realized. And obedience does not really limit freedom - it gives certain limits for it, like the form of a sonnet, where a very strict certain form within which the highest manifestations of creative poetic possibility can be realized.

    Obedience puts some limits for the spiritual creativity of the person himself. Many are even frightened by such words as spiritual creativity. Meanwhile, the “creation of a new creature”, which a person carries out by ascetic methods and experiments in himself, is the moment of creativity, one of the highest creations and arts. And where they follow the path of simple autonomous obedience, in which there is nothing else - no free do not bring up a new creature. It turns out the old, dilapidated, unfree creature.

    Maria Sveshnikova spoke with Archpriest Vladislav Sveshnikov. To be continued.

    To what extent does the decision to become a spiritual child bind us, to what extent does it leave us free? What attitude towards the confessor is wrong? how what if you don’t have a leader in your spiritual life yet? Is it possible to have a "confessor by correspondence"? What if the husband and wife have different confessors? Is it possible to move from one confessor to another? And what is this secret of confession that makes special relationship between father and child?

    We are talking about these and other nuances of the topic with the famous Moscow priest, who for 35 years was in obedience to Archimandrite John (Krestyankin), the rector of the church of Sophia the Wisdom of God in Srednye Sadovniki, Archpriest Vladimir Volgin.

    Photo by Alexander Perlin

    Time For checking

    - Father Vladimir, why should a person who has just come to the Church start looking for a confessor?

    First of all, you need to pray about it. St. Simeon the New Theologian advises to pray a lot so that the Lord would send a confessor. Another tip: don't rush. Archimandrite John (Krestyankin) said the following: when a young man and a girl met and have sympathy for each other, then three years should pass before the issue of marriage is resolved. Of course, there should be friendly relations between them, chaste ones, and by the end of the third year, young people should decide: can I live with this person or not? Spirituality is also, in a sense, marriage, only spiritual. And therefore, it is not immediately necessary to ask for spiritual children to the priest who has come to your liking and meets your inner needs today. Tomorrow it may not be so!

    You need to look at it very carefully, to see the positive aspects - and we, the priests, being human beings, also show our biased, negative sides. It is necessary to observe how the priest guides his spiritual children, whether he totally imposes his will, whether he insists on it or leaves the person free. Even the Lord does not limit our freedom, He knocks at the door of the heart, he does knock, but does not order: “Open the door for me!”

    - You can immediately trust a spiritually inexperienced person, a “young old man” ...

    Yes. Young elders are young, inexperienced priests who consider themselves people who know the will of God, understand everything, see everything. And in fact it is not.

    Yes, of course, there are exceptional cases: the Monk Alexander of Svir was already considered an elder at the age of 18, the Monk Ambrose of Optina became an elder at the age of 38. And in our ordinary life, people come mature to this charisma, to that obedience that the Lord can impose on a person directly or through a spiritual father. But if we do not see something, but affirm that we see, and insist on it, then woe to us, priests, confessors!..

    Therefore, I repeat, there is no need to rush.

    I have been serving as a priest for 36 years already, and many people have passed through me and stayed with me as a confessor. But before, I prematurely established relationships: a person asks for it, “fell in love” like with a priest at first sight and thinks that everything will be fine. There were also cases when people left me, probably disappointed, probably because I could not answer their questions deeply enough. Or maybe he answered in such a way that the questioners were not interested in listening. There are various reasons for the departure of believing laity from their confessors. And in order to prevent this from happening, I gradually, with experience, began to establish some period, so to speak, of “abstinence” before entering into a relationship. I say, “Watch me. I will not refuse you in any case, I will now have the rights of an “acting” spiritual father. But I won’t be until you look at me long enough.”

    - At the same time, you confess these people?

    Yes, of course, I confess, I talk, I answer all the questions that they put before me.

    - What is the difference between a spiritual child and a person who simply comes to confession?

    How are your children different from other people's children? Probably the same. Your children obey you, at least they must obey you up to a certain age. And then, perhaps, obedience is preserved, if it will be useful. And other people's children do not obey you. They can turn to you for some advice, for candy, relatively speaking, for an explanation of something. So the confessing person, who is not a spiritual child, is approximately at the same level of relations with the priest.

    Obedience and freedom

    Strictly speaking, absolute obedience is a monastic category. And to what extent can obedience be observed by a worldly person?

    Of course, it is necessary to take into account the capabilities of a person.

    There is a certain range of problems - not very versatile and extensive - that people living in the world usually put before us priests. These questions essentially concern the code of moral Christian life, and when it comes to them, the spiritual child, of course, must show obedience.

    Well, for example, life in the so-called “civil marriage”, in relationships that are not fixed by state authorities and the Church is not consecrated. This is fornication. Some say: "Yes, I'd rather get married, I won't go to the registry office." But these people do not understand that before the revolution, the Church combined two institutions: the registry office (parish registers) and the institution of the Church itself, where the sacraments or rituals were performed. And, of course, a person who asks you for spiritual guidance should listen to you and stop living in such illegal cohabitation. Or legalize it. It's simple, right?

    There are problems on another level. For example, is it right or wrong to move from one job to another job? I know that the elders never advised to simply move to another job, for example, because of a higher wages, but recommended their spiritual children to stay in their previous jobs. And, in general, experience shows: this is correct most often. Why? Because when a person moves to another job, he must adapt, he must be accepted by employees, colleagues, and if they are not accepted, this may result in dismissal. Here's an increase in wages for you! ..

    - Should a person discuss any issues with the confessor family life? Why not solve them yourself?

    I think any discussion should start in the family. There are questions and problems that the husband and wife themselves can handle. And there are those that have to be taken out for the blessing of the confessor, when, for example, the husband does not agree with the point of view of his wife, or vice versa. And you need to understand: I ask this question only if I am ready to fulfill the blessing of the confessor. If I don’t comply, because I don’t like the answer, then this is a profanation of relations. It is better not to approach the confessor with this question and live according to one's own will, than to ask and not fulfill.

    About games into spiritual life

    Is there such a danger here: a person, having become accustomed to asking a confessor about everything, will lose the ability to independently make decisions and, most importantly, take responsibility for them? Since the confessor blessed, he is responsible for everything ...

    In my practice, I have not met people who would like to entrust their entire life and care of themselves to a spiritual father. There are some deviations, distortions, irregularities in the relationship with the spiritual father. For example, when spiritual children ask about some trifles. Let's conditionally say: "Bless me to go to the store today, I have nothing in the refrigerator." But what surprises me more is that sometimes people ask for blessings, let’s say, for a trip somewhere, already having a ticket, having a ticket: “Would you bless me to go there during Great Lent?” In such cases, I say: “Such a request is profanity. I can only pray for you on your trip, since you yourself have decided this issue.

    I think the danger is not in the inability to make decisions, but in the fact that we are quite proud, conceited and used to solving problems on our own. And therefore it is good when people bow their heads under the blessing of the spiritual father.

    And there are, of course, difficult questions that a person cannot answer on his own. And the priest, by the grace of God given to him from above, in any case, is able to give very reasonable advice.

    It turns out that a person is not completely free as a spiritual child, does he have certain obligations in relation to the spiritual father?

    Like children with their parents. But these duties are not burdensome. Now the situation is such that many young Christians who have graduated from, perhaps, not even one university, but two or three, are very self-confident: they often consider themselves competent not only in those areas in which they received professional knowledge, but also in spiritual life. , where supposedly you can figure it out with half a turn. No, it's not. Father John (Krestyankin) said about such people: “Today’s children of the Church are completely special… they come to spiritual life, weighed down by many years of sinful life, perverted concepts of good and evil. And the earthly truth assimilated by them rises against the concept of Heavenly Truth that comes to life in the soul.<…>saving cross<…>rejected as an unbearable burden. And outwardly worshiping the great Cross of Christ and His Passion,<…>man will dexterously and ingeniously shun his personal saving cross. And then how often begins the most terrible substitution of spiritual life - a game of spiritual life.

    - Where does the border between eldership and clergy lie?

    The elders differ from us, ordinary confessors, not at all in their clairvoyance. Foresight, of course, accompanies eldership. But eldership is more than insight! Indeed, among people who serve not God, but dark forces, there are clairvoyants who can also predict the fate of a person.

    The main thing in the elders is something else: they are the bearers of Divine love. Not human, which is biased and often deceitful, but Divine. And when you feel this love, you understand that it is true and no other love can replace it. Since in my lifetime I have met 11 elders, it seems to me, although I boldly say now, that there is a certain “indicator” in me: whether this or that person is a genuine elder or not. And I can say that the elder is recognized by this love - all-covering, all-forgiving, non-irritating. The very one whose properties are described in the First Epistle to the Corinthians of the Apostle Paul: Love is long-suffering, merciful, love does not envy, love does not exalt itself, is not proud, does not act outrageously, does not seek its own, is not irritated, does not think evil, does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; covers everything, believes everything, hopes everything, endures everything. Love never ends…

    My obedience for life

    How did you meet your spiritual father, Archimandrite John (Krestyankin), and Shegigumen Savva?

    Unfortunately, at one time priests paid very little attention to us, youth, because in Soviet times it was dangerous for them to enter into communication with young people. Although there were such Moscow priests who communicated with the youth, they were few in number. I, not yet being baptized (I was baptized six months after this trip), came to the Pskov-Caves Monastery and met Father Savva (Ostapenko). I don’t even remember Father John (Krestyankin), although they said that he was and we met him. And a year later I came to Pechory again.

    And somehow Father Savva, knowing that I was engaged in literary works, suggested that I edit his book. And he put a prayer about the spiritual father there. I asked: “Do you want to accept me as a spiritual child?” He says: "If you want, I can accept." I knew that he was great, that he was a special person... And I was very vain and, in general, I still probably remain so, so it was certainly prestigious for me to have such a spiritual father. I still didn’t understand what spirituality was!

    So I asked Father Savva to be my spiritual father. Which I don't regret at all! I thank God that for some time, not very long, he guided me and marked such important reference points in my further path of spiritual life.

    - For example? What do you mostremembered from his advice?

    After my first, general, confession, he told me: “I will give you obedience, which may seem difficult to you, but this is the work of a lifetime: do not judge people.” I somehow tried to fulfill this, and indeed, this is an obedience for life. And this is the way to love.

    - How did you become your confessor?father John (Krestyankin)?

    Several times I turned to Father Savva, and in parallel I began to develop some kind of relationship with Father John (Krestyankin). So I confessed to Father Savva, he told me: “I bless”, or “I do not bless” - and did not explain anything. Father John never contradicted Father Savva, their points of view, of course, coincided, but Father John, as it were, “chewed” everything to me: why exactly, why not in a different way. And it turned out to be much closer to me than just: “I bless”, “I don’t bless”. So gradually I “relocated” to Father John, who accepted me as a spiritual child.

    In the absence of elders

    - What is the situation with clergy today?

    Complex. I think that not all priests, unfortunately, have the gift of clergy.

    - And what is the gift of clergy, what does it consist of?

    I would say this: this is the reasonableness of the requirements that the confessor makes to spiritual child. In no case setting myself as an example, I can say from my own experience that I have always been guided by the possibilities, the strength of the human soul. And if I felt that I could crush and break, I stopped. If I felt that there was still a reserve of some spiritual strength, then I went even deeper into the soul and gave some advice, which at times, perhaps, was not easy to follow, but spiritual children, as a rule, strove to adhere to them.

    - What happened now - why are there difficulties with clergy in our time?

    The main thing that is happening is the disappearance of the elders.

    At one time, Father John (Krestyankin) told me: “We knew such elders, similar in spirit to the ancient elders. And you know us. And then others will come who will not be distinguished by any special gifts and spiritual strength.” So, probably, this time has come, we are now experiencing it - the time, as it is now commonly called, apostasy, that is, apostasy. It is only by the grace of God that our Russia and the Russian people are reborn and become believers. And just for the modern generation, St. Ignatius Brianchaninov, reflecting on eldership and its disappearance in the future, said: there is no need to grieve over the disappearance of wise spiritual leaders, you need to focus on spiritual books, on the fathers of the Church.

    And you know, it's amazing, because I became a believer, I was baptized when I was 20 years old, in 1969. A little over 20 years have passed, when suddenly changes took place in Russia - a law was passed on freedom of religion and freedom of conscience. And from about that time, or rather, from the end of Gorbachev's perestroika, in 1989, Orthodox books began to be published: holy fathers, lives. And now - the sea of ​​these books and a huge number of publishers! And we have the opportunity to get acquainted with the works of St. Ignatius Brianchaninov, St. Theophan the Recluse, many Optina elders, Glinsk elders, modern elders, like Father John (Krestyankin), and others who left behind their works. And they, in general, answered for us all the questions that are now facing modern humanity. So, for example, Father John (Krestyankin) has a "Spiritual First Aid Kit", compiled as advice on various problems of spiritual life. Now the works of the holy fathers are systematized by themes, for example: about humility, about prayer, about pride, and so on. We may well look for spiritual guidance in them as well.

    Moreover, I do not advise my spiritual children now to delve into the ascetic works of such ascetics as, for example, Isaac the Syrian, because the ancient fathers, desert dwellers, were guided by monasticism, by people living a deeply ascetic life. We don't live like that. And if we try to follow their advice, on the one hand, this can certainly be a boon for us, and on the other hand, we may find ourselves in a trap of misunderstanding and inconsistency of such experience and modern life. From this, spiritual obscuration is possible, up to mental illness. Therefore, I orient those who turn to me to modern elders and domestic ascetics of piety, who have already died, but left us their precious works focused on modern society.

    - What are these books - Can you name a few more?

    Father Nikolai Golubtsov, holy righteous father Alexei Mechev, of course, Glinsk and Optina elders, holy righteous father John of Kronstadt, Theophan the Recluse, Ignatius Brianchaninov. Their sea, you can't re-read them all! And now people are very busy - you spend a lot of time on the only way to work or to work. You cannot reread everything, but this will be enough for guidance in spiritual life.

    Confessor by correspondence

    Can modern man have a spiritual father at a distance? Call up, correspond on the Internet, rarely meeting personally or not meeting at all?

    Of course, there can be such relationships, and they are very common. I heard that such well-known confessors as Archpriest Vladimir Vorobyov, Archpriest Dimitri Smirnov had with a certain eldercorrespondence - they took advice from him in writing and received answers in writing.

    And it seems that none of them has ever seen this old man. Is that possible. We were lucky to get to the Pskov-Caves Monastery when we wanted to, at first we came to the elders with “sheets” of questions, then there were fewer and fewer questions. And some no longer came, but asked the elders in writing and received answers. And guided by these answers.

    We are again talking about the elders, people of special talents, perspicacious, who could solve certain issues at a distance. And what about ordinary confessors?

    There are questions that, I think, ordinary confessors-priests, not overshadowed by such spiritual, senile grace, cannot answer. Complex questions that require not only attention and deepening into the soul of a person, but also some kind of parallel knowledge, spiritual knowledge given only from above, only by God.

    But suppose I have spiritual children whom I have known for a long time, and this knowledge helps me, not being an old man and a perspicacious person, to solve, perhaps, much more complex problems. And if you, an ordinary priest, do not know all the complexities and nuances of the life of your spiritual child, how can you answer his questions and difficulties?

    Over time, a person begins to need a confessor less, to ask less questions, to confess in short. Is it normal?

    I think it's ok. Of course, one is learning. Of course, any subject in which we gain knowledge is much more extensive than, say, an institute program. But nevertheless, the institute gives systematic knowledge about this subject, quite solid. The foundation is laid in you, and, relying on it, you can develop further. If a person has an inquisitive mind, and he continues to strive for knowledge of the subject of interest to him, then gradually, gradually, there are less and less questions. It is the same in the spiritual life! When we recently came to Father John (Krestyankin), I strained out of myself, like a mosquito, 2-3 questions. I had nothing to ask, there were no problems!

    And I understand that Fr. John answered almost all the questions for our rather long spiritual relationship, which spans three and a half decades.

    - How do you feel about the change of confessor?

    You know, when I was younger, I was very zealous about this, and I was quite worried when my spiritual children departed from me. But if they went, for example, to Father John (Krestyankin) or to such pillars of the Church, the joy from this overcame the pain that was in me. And now I am free.

    Guided by the saying: the fish is looking for where it is deeper, and the man is looking for where it is better. Man is free! And to focus on me, a person who is not a saint and knows, perhaps imperfectly, but the price of his spiritual life ... I would not want this, I would not like to say about myself: "Here I am - the source of knowledge." Nothing like this. There are people much wiser than me. And if my spiritual children get to such people, I now rejoice at this and do not feel pain.

    Wrong relations

    - What kind of relationship with a confessor can be wrong? How do you know if they're wrong?

    For example, if a person sees in a priest - I'm talking about personal experience - an elder and addresses him as an elder, this is a false attitude. I am not an old man. It is not true when a person elevates an ordinary confessor and puts him on a pedestal of holiness. We, people, I am a man, a sinful man, and I would like to get rid of passions, like my spiritual children. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't, but I pray to God all the time to free me from passions.

    It is very wrong to collect information about a spiritual father as a miracle worker: here he showed insight, and here, through his prayers, someone recovered. Most often, this contains a fairly large element of fantasy, and a person, a confessor, begins to be deified. And then, when we suddenly show weakness, our fall is great in the eyes of such people. And our memory perishes with noise, as it is said in the Gospel.

    Is it necessary for a family to have a common confessor, and what if the bride has one and the groom has another, what should they do?

    I adhere to this view, although I never insist on it, that it is more correct to have one confessor. Let's imagine the following picture: there are many wonderful confessors in Moscow now; they are also remarkable in that they have experience of communicating with the elders, who passed on some of their experience to them - and you can’t get it in any books!

    But nevertheless, due to the difference in characters, personal approaches, they sometimes look differently at this or that problem and at the means of healing from this or that mental illness. And this can be a stumbling block! Suppose your confessor says one thing in connection with a certain problem of family life, and your husband's confessor says another to her husband in connection with the same problem. And you are faced with a choice: what to do? And you get lost, because you love your confessor and consider him to be the “last resort”, and your spouse trusts his confessor. And now the conflict.

    - What to do?

    I would advise such families the following. If there is no choice, then the wife needs to listen to her husband. Because she is behind her husband.

    Secret confessors

    - What is the most difficult thing for you in spiritual work and what is the most encouraging?

    The hardest thing about being a spiritual father is that my soul is not an abode for God. This is how the elders differed from confessors like me: they saw the soul of a person, by the grace of God they saw it. And they gave such advice that was healing specifically for this person. This is what brings me pain, but in no case disappointment, but pain, because in spirituality I see great opportunities for my soul, and it is spirituality that brings me great satisfaction in itself. Because sometimes I see how advice - not mine, but "licked" from someone - benefits another person. This is a huge relief! It is a joy when the advice you have learned from the holy fathers and the elders has a healing effect on the souls of your spiritual children.

    - Is this the secret of confession?

    The secret of confession is precisely this secret. Since we call it that, it means that we cannot deeply penetrate it with our mind. I noticed, especially in the first 10-15 years of my ministry, that when a person entered into these spiritual relationships with me, my heart not only contained him, but became akin to this person. A certain thread immediately formed, and I was even more worried about such people than for those who were not and are not my spiritual children. Look, the apostle Paul says: "Husband and wife are one flesh, this mystery is great." I would say this is the secret. But how to explain it? Don't explain.

    The Lord implants in your heart, in your soul some special love for this person and special care for him. More than others. And, of course, I deeply believe reveals much more about spiritual children than about other people.

    Father Vladimir, let's summarize our conversation. A person, having come to the Church, should strive for such spiritual guidance, which implies obedience, since it is difficult to understand the spiritual life on your own. But, if such relations do not develop for him, he should not force this process and should be guided by the books of the holy fathers.

    Yes that's right. And yet, a person should also have a “temporarily acting” confessor. Sometimes we may come across something that we cannot understand, and then it would be more correct to consult such a priest in order not to get lost in the wilds.

    Mikhailova (Posashko) Valeria

    * Archimandrite John (Krestyankin; 1910-2006) - one of the most famous and most revered modern elders, who was a resident of the Pskov-Caves Monastery for about 40 years; confessor, who took care of a huge number of laymen and monks. - Ed.

    ** Shiigumen Savva (Ostapenko; 1898-1980) - a resident of the Pskov-Caves Monastery, a well-known confessor and author of books on spiritual life, revered by the Orthodox as an elder. - Ed.

    "A confessor must be ready to go to hell for his children"

    Have pastors and flocks changed over the twenty-five years of church freedom, is it possible to find a real confessor today, and what should a person do who is looking for spiritual guidance, but does not find an experienced priest? The answers to these and other questions about clergy are in an interview with Archpriest Valerian Krechetov, who for a long time fulfilled the obedience of the confessor of the Moscow diocese.

    The Formula of Confessorship

    What is spirituality in general, and what is the measure of responsibility for someone who takes on the duties of a spiritual father? Archpriest Valerian Krechetov says:

    “Of course, spiritual guidance is important and necessary, but the requirements for a spiritual father are very high. Once I left the church, and some woman suddenly ran after me: “Father, what should I do? My confessor told me: “I don’t want to go to hell because of you!” I answered something, and soon went to Athos and ended up with an old man. A confessor came to him, who for 20 years took care of Elder Paisios. And that elder told me the formula of a real spiritual father: “Only a priest who is ready to go to hell for his spiritual children can be a spiritual father.” The most amazing thing is that I did not tell him about the question that the woman asked me, and he repeated her words word for word, only in the opposite direction.

    Church Militant and Church Secret

    “Twenty-five years of ecclesiastical freedom is already a whole epoch. If we compare the 1990s and our days, how has church life changed over the years? How have parishioners changed?

    - When people talk about the Soviet era, I always remember the book of St. Nicholas of Serbia "The Tsar's Testament". Talking about what is happening in the Kosovo field in Serbia, he explains very well in a spiritual sense what is happening in the world. When Tsar Lazar prayed on the Kosovo field before the battle, he had to choose one of two kingdoms: earthly or heavenly. He chose the Kingdom of Heaven, and according to prophecy, both the army and the state, and death befell him himself.

    But during the battle, an angel appeared before the king and said that his power must perish so that the soul of the people would be saved: “The power is given to the peoples, so that there is something to die in its place, so that there is something to give as a ransom for the soul of the people. Such a deal is profitable when you buy a treasure for an inexpensive price [and you save the soul of the people, and you gain the Kingdom of Heaven!]. Bow down to Him Who destroys the cheap so that the precious is preserved; Who mows the straw, let the grain be preserved.

    There is a war of evil against good in the world, and our Church is militant, but it is not she who starts the war, but they are fighting against her. And if everything around is dying here on earth, this does not mean that everything is bad. There is no bad without good.

    I once heard an interesting parable. One person comes to the elder and says: “Father, everything is going well with you, but nothing is going well with me, why?” The elder says to him: "Patience is needed." “What is patience? You endure, you endure, what's the point of it? It’s like carrying water in a sieve!” And the elder replies: “And you wait for winter.”

    That's exactly what is predicted in this parable, now it happened. After all, it would seem that everything had already been decided, the Church was finished, everyone was imprisoned and shot, but a host of holy martyrs appeared, and people were hardened in the war. And while the Church was persecuted, she held firm.

    Outwardly there was persecution, outwardly nothing was left, everything was over, but the believers remained. The Monk Seraphim spoke about this beautifully, he cited the times of the prophet Elijah as an example, when “all the sons of Israel forsook Your covenant, destroyed Your altars, and killed Your prophets with the sword, I was left alone, but they are looking for my soul to take it away.” This is Elijah, the prophet, with his eagle eye on life, he did not see anyone around the faithful, except himself. And the Lord told him that "among the Israelites there are still seven thousand men who did not bow their knees before Baal and whose lips did not kiss the idol." Seven thousand! That is, there were so many faithful that the prophet Elijah did not see.

    And the Monk Seraphim says: “And how much will we have?” Many believers during the times of persecution held government posts, but almost no one knew that they were Orthodox. It was the same, as they are now called, the secret Church, which was never separated from the official Church, but hidden from the world in order to preserve the faith.

    And now it turned out, as in the parable of the sieve - then everything spilled in the sieve, and now winter has come that you can’t carry this water.

    And I personally experience it myself, because a priest now, if he really works, has neither the strength nor the time - so great is the need for him. And here is precisely the most difficult moment, because many have rushed into the priesthood, and this service is the highest, most difficult and most responsible.

    Even if a young person studies in special educational institutions Science is just the tip of the iceberg. Spiritual life is so complex and diverse that there are only a few specialists in this field.

    As the elders say, the gift of the priesthood, of confessorship, is a special one. “The gift of reasoning is higher than the gift of humility”, that is, it is very difficult to learn how to act - where and when to be silent, when to act. As the Bible says: “The wise are silent until the time; but a fool speaks without time.


    – So now, when there is no open persecution of the Church, the focus of the problem has shifted from the outside world to the inner life of the Church itself? And here the role of the priest is great, is his spiritual experience important?

    - Yes, now there is an opportunity to say a lot, but it’s not so easy, and what to talk about? One person told me an interesting story from his life. He was a philologist, studied at Moscow State University, and they had an Armenian teacher who told students: “Young people, here you are studying different languages but will you tell me what you will speak in these tongues?”

    And really, what is it about? And I always quote Mayakovsky's words:

    Exterminate a single word for the sake of
    Thousands of tons of word ore.

    It happens that you read political articles, but it’s good to take a closer look if there is a single word on the merits. It is even more difficult to talk about spiritual topics.

    A spiritual word has no power if it is divorced from the activity of the heart, from spiritual experience. Another religious philosopher Ivan Kireevsky said:

    “Thinking, separated from the striving of the heart, is the same entertainment for the soul as unconscious gaiety. The deeper such thinking, the more important it is, apparently, the more essentially it makes a person more frivolous. Therefore, a serious and vigorous study of the sciences also belongs to the number of means of entertainment, means of dissipating, in order to get rid of oneself. This imaginary seriousness, imaginary efficiency disperses the true one. The pleasures of the world do not work so successfully and not so quickly.

    Involvement in discourse on spiritual topics, divorced from the activity of the heart, from spiritual experience, is more pernicious entertainment than secular ones. Just the appearance of the spiritual, but there is no essence.

    Rights without obligations

    - In the Psalter there are such words: "I mocked at your justifications." But to mock with us is to mock, to blaspheme, but in fact the first meaning of this word is to reflect. But reflections are justified when they are connected with spiritual experience, with the activity of the heart, and if they are divorced from it, this is mockery. Now, for example, many have begun to speak and write on spiritual issues, but there is no experience. It turned out that some sneer at the true word.

    According to the logic of the world, people are getting smarter, smarter and smarter, but, unfortunately, this is not the case. Because the mind is not the amount of knowledge. Aristotle said: "A lot of knowledge does not yet imply the presence of the mind," and the passion for knowledge and the neglect of morality is not a movement forward, but backward.

    Once, an atheist came to me who believed in the origin of man from apes. He wanted to baptize his daughter, but complained that he could not handle her. And I told him that according to his beliefs, he would never cope with it, because why would his daughter obey if he had recently come from the tree of tears?

    In fact, man came out of the hands of the Creator perfect, but without experience. Of course, in order to become like the Creator, he had to improve, “become perfect, as your Heavenly Father is perfect.” And St. Nicholas of Serbia said that the first people did not know much, but they understood everything. Gradually began to know more, but understand less. It turns out that you can know a lot, but understand nothing. As one servant of God noted, looking at modern man:

    The soul flared, went out,
    grew old, climbed into a bathrobe,
    but she, as before, is not clear,
    what to do and who is to blame.

    What to do, who is to blame - people usually turn to these age-old questions. In connection with the state in which the world has now plunged, many have rushed to the Church. And, unfortunately, few people understand that everything that happens is the fruit of sin, but they try, without considering what is most important, to figure out what to do and who is to blame. Therefore, the questions that people ask in confession are no longer about how to save their souls, but how to arrange happy life for yourself on earth.

    What are the most pressing issues for people right now?

    “Unfortunately, most people are only concerned with their own personality, the ego. There is a lot of selfishness. Before, people were more humble.

    Now everyone wants to live in their own way - without duties, but with their own rights. For example, the so-called civil marriage, open fornication without obligations, has spread everywhere. But when a person is going to start a family, he should at least halve his desires, and prepare to at least double his responsibilities. And we don’t want to give up our desires, but there are no duties at all.

    When entering into marriage, you need to ask: “What do you want: to have a wife, to have children, to have a household, or: to be a husband, to be a father, to be a master?” To be or to have? Being presupposes life. To be someone is to have responsibilities. If this is a husband, he has his own duties, if the father has his own duties, if the director has his own duties. And we have? Ruined the family, and who is to blame? Usually both are to blame, and the one who is smarter is more to blame.

    In fact, what is a people? The people are many families. The family is a small Church, the family is the basis of the state. And so the collapse of the state is due to the collapse of the family.

    How to find a confessor and should I look for him?

    — How to find a confessor? What to do if you can't find spiritual guidance?

    “It is imperative to go to Church and take communion, and then pray for the Lord to send a confessor. And if he sends, so that the Lord would give him understanding. Because there is such a saying that the holy fathers did not always have good novices. There are examples when the novices were so humble and devoted that they themselves were saved, and the Lord saved their spiritual mentors, who were unworthy.

    Conversely, next to the saints, not everyone was a saint. Among the 12 apostles, one was Judas. Much depends on the person himself.

    Spiritual guidance is important and necessary, but the requirements for a spiritual father are very high. His ministry is based primarily on sacrificial love, which is the love of God. And therefore, if the Lord gives this holy feeling, then everything falls into place.

    There is a book about the priesthood of Bishop Arseny (Zhadanovsky), where he recalls that when the Lord restored the Apostle Peter to his apostolic dignity, He did not demand anything from him, only love: if you love Me, feed my sheep. That is, if there is love, there is a shepherd and confessor. And if there is no love, then there is no true shepherding.

    What should a person do who is looking for spiritual guidance but does not find an experienced priest? Humble yourself, communicating with an inexperienced confessor, do it your own way?

    “The most important thing is to remember that everything is controlled by the providence of God. The Lord can give understanding. And both the flock and the shepherds need to pray. Sometimes people ask me something and I can't answer. I'm not ashamed to say: I don't know. There is a saying: God is never in a hurry, but he is never late. Everything in life happens in its own time. Rely on God, and He will do everything for spiritual benefit.

    Remember the example given to us in the Gospel? Before Pilate stands the beaten, bound Savior. And Pilate says: “Are you not answering me? Do you not know that I have power to crucify You, and I have power to let You go?” The Lord calmly replies: "Do not have any power over me, otherwise it would not be given from above." And so it happened: he wanted to release Jesus, but he signed the crucifix, he did not show his authority, he could not.

    So everything is controlled by the providence of God. And people often forget about it, especially in relations with a confessor, obsessing over his personality. The personality itself is rather helpless. A person cannot even sin without God - for example, if He had not given us a leg, we would not have gone to sin, we simply would not have reached it. Therefore, as such, a person simply cannot have originality. One God is unique. And according to His will, everything is created - He is the One, "He who mows the straw, let the grain be preserved."

    After all, we did not organize any demonstrations at the time, and the Church was suddenly free. Only one sign remained from communism. And what is communism? An attempt to build the Kingdom of God on earth, a paradise without God.

    There was such a father Misail, a cell-attendant of Metropolitan Nestor of Kamchatsky, he was in prison during the Soviet era, and they told him: “Here we are building paradise on earth.” He replies: "It's useless." “Are you against the authorities?” “No, all power is from God. But building heaven on earth is a futile exercise.” - "How why?" “It's very simple. The first Christians were already building such a society, everything was common, but nothing happened.”

    And indeed, the first Christians are the society from which they copied the idea of ​​communism. But even with that spirit, they could not maintain complete dispassion. So it's all been there. As Father John Krestyankin once said: they have nothing new, everything is stolen, only remade in their own way.

    - What should a person do in a situation where a priest advises him at confession what is impossible for him? For example, well-known examples when the priest does not bless the marriage, says: “It is not God's will for you to be together”, what should I do? Argue?

    - Obedience by obedience. Love does not pass, love passes. Here parents also forbid something, what to do - to obey or not to obey? In general, it is necessary to obey all the same. Another thing is that sometimes the soul does not accept this decision. Then you need to pray and wait. I know such an example when a young man and a girl fell in love with each other, and the parents were against it. And I told them: “You love each other, is it impossible to forbid love? Please keep loving." They did just that. And then the mother could not stand it - she allowed it. And they got married.

    If love is true, if there is no desire to possess, if you feel that this is your soul mate, a dear person - this may be enough. My mother had a friend whom the groom courted for forty years. He loved her and she loved him, but she couldn't leave her mother and start a family with him. They met, took care of each other, and became so close that when they became spouses at the age of 60, they no longer needed anything other than spiritual and emotional closeness.

    Actually, Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin also has an example - Tatyana Larina says: “I love you (why dissemble?), But I am given to another, and I will be faithful to him for a century.” You can love, but it is not necessary to live together sooner, at least there is no need to rush.

    We are now saying: we should rather live together, test our feelings. Unfortunately, this is not how true love is tested. According to Justin Popovich, love for a person without the love of God is self-love, and love for God without love for a person is self-deception.

    The most important thing is the will of God. If there really is a feeling, it will remain, it will live, and if it disappeared due to difficulties, then it may not have existed, or this hobby was, another feeling, not love. And love, as the apostle Paul says, never disappears and cannot pass away, love remains love.

    — And how to distribute the severity of the execution of what the confessor said? A simple example: a confessor tells all his children to strictly fast, but do you have gastritis? What to do here, obey or act according to your feelings?

    Fasting is for a person, not a person for fasting, it is better to underfast than to overfast. And one more thing: the post is not “not allowed”, but “not allowed”. If it were not possible, then St. Spyridon of Trimifuntsky would not have eaten meat during Great Lent - there is such an example from his life when there was nothing to feed a guest from the road, and he ordered meat to be brought, and he himself ate with him so as not to embarrass him.

    But fasting purifies, fasting is a great power. The Lord Himself fasted. If He, Who, unlike us, did not need fasting, fasted, how can we sinners not fast? But there are different degrees of severity of fasting. There are many healthy foods and lean: Brussels sprouts are healthier than chicken broth.

    In fact, when a person has some kind of grief or has a real feeling, he does not think about food. A certain young man courted one girl and said that he loved her. And she was very wise and told him that since you are ready for anything, let's fast and pray for two or three weeks. And then, when the deadline was up, she laid a chic table, brought a young man and said: “Well, at the table or down the aisle?” He rushed to the table. Everything, the choice is made.

    - That is, there is no such criterion in relations with a confessor: obedience or one's own decision?

    — The only criterion is love. If anger, irritation, what's the point of it? What is it for? Only love can be above the law.

    - And if there is no confessor or he is far away, how to live, how to be guided in your actions?

    - If there is no confessor, or it is difficult to contact him, then you need to pray. You just need to remember that the Lord is near, and you should always turn to Him.

    Once, in my youth, I had a difficult situation at work, I was confused, not knowing what to do, and began to read akathists to St. Nicholas and St. Seraphim in turn, and suddenly everything worked out. This was the first example in my life when I experienced for myself that if you don’t know what to do in the circumstances, you need to immediately intensify your prayer, ask for God’s help.

    These are just the same questions: “what to do?” and "who is to blame?" Blame myself first of all. You have to start with yourself, because you can't get away from yourself. But what to do? We need to pray that the Lord would indicate: "Tell me, Lord, the way, I will go the stench."

    Archimandrite Innokenty Prosvirnin once told me this formula of attitude to life: when Heaven is silent, nothing needs to be done.

    I later read that a similar rule was used by the holy martyr Seraphim Zvezdinsky. When asked in troubled times, what to do if you don’t know what to do and there is no one to consult with, he recommended praying for three days and asking the will of God, and the Lord will show you how to act. If he does not indicate, then still pray and endure. This is what they do on Athos.

    I myself often advise doing this, and this rule bears good fruit.

    If you load a person with feats at once, he will not stand it.


    —Does spiritual guidance differ between newcomers and, shall we say, grown-up Christians?

    - Certainly. The difference is in the degree of severity. When I just started my ministry, there was such a confessor, Archimandrite Tikhon Agrikov, so he told me that you need to attract a person first, and when he gets used to it, it can be even stricter. Because if you immediately load a person with various feats, he will not stand it. I once went in for sports, and here, as in the spiritual life, at first small loads, then more, otherwise a person will overstrain. And we must remember that obedience is a cross. It is very difficult in monasteries, and even more so in the world.

    Archpriest Sergiy Orlov taught me as a young priest, and usually did not say categorically: like this and nothing else. If I asked something, he said: "Yes, anything can happen." And I thought: wow, a person with such and such a spiritual experience, education, and it seems that he didn’t say anything specifically ... But not everything is so simple.

    The rector of the Jerusalem metochion, Archpriest Vasily Serebrennikov, who came to confess to Father Sergius, once said to me: “I like spiritual matters most of all when you don’t understand anything.” There is no need to be shy if you do not understand something in spiritual matters. Where it is not clear - everything is simple: it is not clear and that's it. But when, it would seem, everything is clear, sometimes many difficulties can arise later. For example, the question of frequent communion, would it seem good to receive communion often? Very well. And my father said to me: “How can I say this? Who will deal with this? And if there is such an attitude: Manka went - and I will go, what will everything turn into then?

    - Can a confessor give a person the freedom to decide what to do?

    – A very experienced spiritual father, the holy archpriest Alexy Mechev, when asked about something, first of all said: “What do you think?” Because real spiritual education must necessarily give food to the mind, so that a person learns to reason. It's not all about leading a person by the hand.

    Complete obedience is, of course, good, but it is possible only in a monastery, and in the world it is more difficult.

    I have 59 years of driving experience. And the first time I got behind the wheel, I felt very uncomfortable. I was prompted, and I gradually got used to it, got used to it. In the same way, spiritual skills must be acquired in the spiritual life.

    I am a navigator in the military department of the air force, and we had Colonel Plesky, I still remember him, he said: “I will make you know aircraft navigation in verse, there is no time to reason in the air, you need to act there.” So it is in life - spiritual skills need to be acquired so that they become our second nature. Knowledge is something that is passed through one's experience and has become a skill.

    - When a person first comes to the temple, they explain to him how to confess, take communion, what rule to read. And how to grow spiritually? What if a person has been in the Church for 10-20 years and nothing changes, what is the problem?

    - Not in what, but in whom. The problem is in the person. Father John Krestyankin said that nothing can be done for a person. You can help, but if he does not do it himself, nothing will work. God does not forcefully save without the desire and participation of the person himself. There are such eternal students - they go, go, and never finish their studies. Who is to blame - the one who teaches or the one who learns?

    - Who learns, that is, a person must himself begin to move from some external things to an inner life?

    - External things are given in order to pave the way to inner world. The ability to at least say "I'm sorry" is given for a reason. Gradually, everything begins to change inside a person. There is such an expression “They will call you a pig - you grunt. And if you are an angel, maybe you will become an angel, you will sing.”

    - Often for those who have been in the Church for a long time, prayer turns into a formality, fasting is performed without zeal, why?

    God will give prayer to those who pray. If you still try to delve into the words of the prayer, it cannot be completely a formality. Yes, you get tired, but do it anyway. What does "formally" mean? I read a prayer, and at that time what was happening in your soul?

    Still, it is better to pray somehow than to do nothing at all.

    “Can you learn to pray?”

    - You can learn - you need to pray.

    - Practice?

    - Yes. Also, prayer is often taught by some kind of grief, embarrassment. When my father was studying at the seminary, one of the old professors asked him this question: “What does the Lord do with a person when He wants to draw him to Himself?” My father answered something. “Okay, what’s the main thing?” Father is silent. - "Sends a hardship of the soul to him."

    - It's probably hard not to fall into despondency here, if all the time of grief?

    - Everything passes. I tell everyone, at least listen to Pushkin, if you don't want to listen to Holy Scripture. Do you know what he said?

    If life deceives you
    Don't be sad, don't be angry!
    On the day of despondency, humble yourself:
    The day of fun, believe me, will come.

    (Here one would like to add: “And humble yourself, pray!”).

    The heart lives in the future;
    Real sad:
    Everything is instant, everything will pass;
    Whatever passes will be nice.

    After all, it was from God, according to the elder Seraphim Vyritsky.

    And we must not forget even in the most hard days life to thank God - he is waiting for us and will send even greater blessings. A person with a grateful heart never needs anything.

    Archpriest Valerian Krechetov Born in 1937 in the family of a repressed accountant and later a priest Mikhail Krechetov. He graduated from school in 1959 and at the same time was enrolled in the Moscow Forestry Institute, three years after which he entered the Moscow Seminary.

    He was ordained on January 12, 1969, and in 1973 he graduated from the Moscow Theological Academy. Over the long years of his ministry, he communicated with many outstanding pastors, including Father Nikolai Golubtsov, Father John Krestyankin, and Father Nikolai Guryanov. Today, Archpriest Valerian is the rector of the church in honor of the Intercession Holy Mother of God in the village of Akulovo, Odintsovo district.

    Interview with Archpriest Vladislav Sveshnikov, Rector of the Moscow Church of the Three Hierarchs on Kulishki.

    Who is a confessor or spiritual father?

    – For the most part, in church practice, a confessor or spiritual father is a priest, with whom those who are commonly called his spiritual children make a common path to salvation. But, since he is not just walking next to him, but also a priest, he, firstly, performs the sacrament (first of all, we are talking about the sacrament of repentance - confession). Secondly, he, as a shepherd, seeks to help the spiritual child, so that those spiritual and moral qualities lives that are in the space of Holy Scripture and Tradition. And if the matter with Scripture is quite simple, because it is the same for everyone and in each specific case it is only a question of how to apply various evangelical principles to a given specific person in order to make them feasible, then in Tradition, by its infinity and the possibilities of diverse forms manifestations, the area of ​​activity of the confessor becomes much more extensive, significant. He seeks tenderly and affectionately to show in what way some of the life attitudes of his spiritual children do not correspond to the spirit of Tradition and what, on the contrary, should be revealed and developed in this spirit of Tradition in oneself, in one's soul and in one's life. But this is common practice.

    There are also ideal cases (there are also lower than usual, then they are a distortion of the relationship between the spiritual father and the spiritual child), they are very rare, but especially valuable. This is that special type of relationship when the spiritual father knows the full content of the soul of his spiritual child through the Holy Spirit and reveals to him what the Holy Spirit reveals. And in this case, the confessor shows his spiritual child his personal path to salvation, despite the fact that they are united by the spirit and content of a common prayer, both common and liturgical.

    – Are there any peculiarities in the relationship between the spiritual father and spiritual children?

    - The most important thing that is really not understood most often is that the relationship between a spiritual father and a spiritual child - concepts and reality are deep and existing. But for this, neither the conditions of obedience and obedience, nor the demands and claims that spiritual fathers without fail and as quickly as possible teach everything that they know themselves are absolutely not necessary.

    The spiritual father actually enters inwardly, not necessarily with long words and reflections, into the life of spiritual children. In the life of those who are with him - simply because he loves them, and his soul hurts for them. And just by the mere fact that their soul hurts, they find themselves together and walk the path of salvation together. And he tries to lead them to Christ.

    The spiritual father is a little ahead, because he was placed in such a way, and by the mysterious manifestation of his spiritual life as a new person, the first person, and by his love, which has a very broad direction. Because the expanding heart contains everyone. In any case, everyone who resorts to it. Thus, in the community, that spiritual content of life is realized, in which the spiritual father, by a privately spoken word, a preaching word, by the whole example of his life, simplicity in communication, modesty, unpretentiousness, undemanding - not spiritual undemanding, spiritual should, of course, be demanding - (undemanding for himself) achieves much more.

    Because then his spiritual child sees before him an example of a good experience of spiritual life, which, moreover, is not distant by the pages of a book or some story, but, on the contrary, is extremely close by direct and personal communication. Then this is a real spiritual father who takes care of his children. He cares not for delivering the necessary funds to them, but for the very fact of their common movement.

    – How complete should obedience to a confessor be? Because sometimes I had to read about literal, absolute obedience. For example, according to the recollections of the spiritual children of the same Optina elders, advice was asked about everything, down to mechanical actions - what book to read or which direction to go.

    - What book to read is just not a mechanical action. This can be a very good way to guide and help in the spiritual life of a person for whom some books may not be useful (even quite normal ones with good Christian content) as untimely. On the other hand, the suggestion to neophytes to read the Philokalia*, which modern man does not yet understand, as a rule, shows the strange monastic experience of the confessor.

    By the way, what is also very important for a confessor is the understanding that the world constantly raises new problems. And we must try to see the resolution of these problems, precisely as new, if not in essence, then at least in terms of forms, new principles, new content. Starting from such simple things as the attitude to the Internet, to television.

    - And the attitude towards sins is changing?

    – The attitude towards sins fundamentally remains the same. It cannot change, and in this sense, the slogan of the ancient fathers “better death than sin” can be left forever as a slogan and banner. Better death than sin.

    Another thing is that, entering into the area of ​​a concrete examination of the sinful life of the person who approaches the confessor, one must see and help him see what he should for the time being, at least treat it more or less condescendingly and dismiss it as not something that would be due, but as temporarily permissible. Not that sin should be cultivated, but in the sense that, perhaps, this sin should be repented, but not particularly strongly, knowing that the energy is not unlimited, and the strength of the soul should be used for what is more important.

    This is one of the big constant incidents, because to see what is important, this requires a spiritual mind, and it does not necessarily coincide with a practical mind, with an estimate, if the confessor has it, or with his knowledge of ancient traditions. But, in any case, the experience, when there is an automatic demand for absolute obedience, does not at all lead to the fulfillment of the main task, which is to educate in a person who comes to a priest, true spiritual freedom.

    He came from one kind of slavery and falls into another kind of slavery. And he will never know what spiritual freedom is. Moreover, this matter is rather delicate and requires a very serious approach. Moreover, I would say, talking with many priests, that many do not even understand what this spiritual freedom is, and therefore they simply cannot educate their disciple within the framework of spiritual freedom. All these obediences are actually important as long as they bring up in a person an understanding of how a spiritually free life is realized. And obedience does not actually limit freedom - it gives rise to it, a certain framework, like the form of a sonnet, or even more so - a “wreath of sonnets”, where there is a very strict definite form, but within which the highest manifestations of creative poetic possibility can be realized.

    - In Western Christianity, that is, among Catholics, Protestants do not have spiritual fathers. But they are successfully or fruitfully replaced by psychologists. In fact, even in our country, more and more people turn to psychologists for help, replacing them with a priest. What is the difference between a psychologist and a spiritual father?

    What does it mean to be successfully replaced? It's still a big question.

    And they go to psychologists, because many people do not really understand what spiritual life is. And they draw their sense of spirituality from the framework of their sincerity, from the framework of their psychology. Therefore, perhaps they really need a psychologist rather than a spiritual father. Moreover, it is precisely such people who are very often dissatisfied with communication with a priest, they do not see any prospect for themselves in this communication.

    – Can we say that this is mainly a female trait?

    – Basically yes. Although, of course, now many men have completely “crazed”, and this trait has become quite common. But, of course, it is more characteristic of women, which, in particular, can be seen from confessions.

    In our parish we have more or less eradicated the type of confession that is still cultivated in many good (really good) churches, good communities, when spiritual children, especially women, offer a spiritual novel instead of confession. Often very talented, psychologically peculiar, but this has very little to do with the spiritual and moral content of life. It has, because it is built on material more or less related to morality. But even this material is experienced not from ethical, but from psychological positions.

    – When they say that the confessor blessed to do it, what does it mean?

    - It means ordered.

    “But why does a person go to a priest for a blessing?”

    - It happens anyway. Basically, if he goes to the priest for a blessing, then he goes for a sanction, a sanction for a decision that he himself has already made. For example, he wants to go to Diveevo, and says: "Father, bless me to go to Diveevo." I can hardly imagine such a rare situation when a priest says: “No, I don’t bless.”

    – And if the priest blesses you to act in such a way that you cannot? Or has he already blessed you, and you feel that you are not able to accept his decision?

    – If there are normal relations between the spiritual father and the spiritual child, then – you can’t and you can’t – the matter simply ends. If you really can’t, if not a fictional illness.

    In a normal situation, both - both the priest and the one who did not fulfill the obedience - treat this normally. So what? Well, we saw, well, we understood. Everything is fine, life goes on, life does not end. To insist, in this case, on the obligatory fulfillment of the decision, means to have priestly self-will or obedient self-will. It only seems that a person is in the area of ​​obedience, in fact, he is in the area of ​​self-will.

    Even when it comes to such ordinary blessings, which are divided into two categories for the sake of laughter. One woman says: “Father, I have a lot of saliva in my mouth. Bless to spit." And the other: “Father, a lot of saliva has accumulated in my mouth, where do you bless me - to the right or to the left to spit?” This example shows not only that people usually approach for a blessing on trifles, for which no blessing is required. He, of course, is a caricature, and such things do not actually happen. But by type - there are any number of questions on trifles, for which no special blessing is required. Either a sanction is required from the priest, a choice is required in an alternative or imaginary alternative situation. But, as a rule, in such cases we are talking about human irresponsibility.

    Another thing is that serious decisions, especially of a spiritual nature, certainly require internal advice, which is not so much advice as a discussion about the content of the ongoing case. To make it clear that it is spiritual and harmless, useful and fruitful. And, accordingly, vice versa.

    – If the confessor advised one thing, relatives say something else, and the heart tells a third thing, what should be done in this situation?

    - Spit, and do the fourth.

    Well, in fact, when. Sometimes relatives turn out to be right, if only because the priest may not know the fullness of the situation. Sometimes the priest turns out to be right, because relatives do not understand the fullness of the spiritual relationship. And sometimes it turns out the right heart. Although it is not particularly possible to trust your heart as a whole, therefore, in its dilapidation, in all its possibilities for understanding reality, including intuitive understanding, mistakes are probable and possible in exactly the same way as correct decisions. So that, and another, and a third, and there, perhaps, a fourth, and a fifth.

    The best thing - if we are talking about understanding God's providence - is when a person sincerely desires to fulfill the will of God, and in this respect he considers all his deeds. And since they can be considered as the fulfillment (or non-fulfillment) of the will of God, circumstances turn out to be the best guideline for faithfulness. The circumstances sent by Providence most clearly suggest pictures and the direction of life. Should you or shouldn't you leave your job because you're being called to another job? Leave everything to the will of God, leave everything to providence, and after a while circumstances will turn out so that it turns out that it was impossible to do otherwise than the one that prompts providence.

    – If there is a conflict with the spiritual father, is it worth turning to someone for advice? And is it possible to change the spiritual father?

    Such situations require individual analysis each time. Most often it is not worth it, especially if the question is small. Because in our life there are not so many big issues at all. Moreover, an error, even if it is a real error, and not an imaginary one, if it does not lead to some obvious, quickly acting negative outcomes, an error is a useful and surmountable thing. Useful, because it gives you the opportunity to see yourself and everything that surrounds you again, on more true vital grounds. Do not forget that every formation of a faithful relationship does not pass without mistakes.

    But everything matters only in those cases when there are irregularities. In some cases, advice is simply indispensable. Especially when it seems that the advice, or proposal, or order of the priest is clearly morally or unacceptable, or dubious. And in such a case, it would, of course, not be a bad thing to consult, since stupid obedience in such a case does not give anything good.

    As for the change of confessors, yes, it is possible. First, when a priest, confessor sins heresy. And then, naturally, to do something like him is a sin, which means to excommunicate oneself from the common church, to excommunicate oneself from the Holy Spirit. Yes, you can, when the priest seriously sins with some kind of sin connected with you personally. I don't say when a priest fornicates, because this is not a common thing, but in any other obvious way, say, selfishness with your help or something else. And you see that you are not saved. Finally, sadly, you can change your spiritual father in those cases (if only this does not become the norm) when it turned out that the meeting was almost accidental, when there is your deep discrepancy. And who is right, who is wrong, it is even better not to understand.

    – Is an elder different from a spiritual father?

    “I don’t know what an old man is. I know what a young man is.

    “Well, what is a young man?”

    – I don’t want to speak just because it is beautifully described in one of his magnificent reports, which speaks directly about early age. I just go along with every word.

    “It's not about distinguishing between young or old madmen. The point here is to assess, as far as possible, the spiritual maturity of a person, his ability to be a leader for a person,” says Bishop Anthony. – “An elder is not just a person who has been engaged in pastoral work for a long time and has acquired some kind of skill or experience; an elder in the real sense is something else, it is a state of grace. Elders are not “made”, elders are born by the power of the Holy Spirit; and if we talk about what characterizes an elder, then I will also briefly talk about the place of eldership in relation to the ordinary priesthood.

    It seems to me that there are three degrees in spirituality. There is a parish priest whose role is to administer the sacraments of the Church. He may not be a good preacher, he may not give any advice at confession, he may not show himself in any way in a pastoral attitude. It is enough that he celebrates the Divine Liturgy, if only he remembers that the miracle of the Divine Liturgy or other sacraments is performed by the Lord. But this does not mean that he is given the right or opportunity to lead other people. Ordination gives a person neither intelligence, nor learning, nor experience, nor spiritual age. It gives him a terrible right to stand before the throne of God where only Christ has the right to stand. He is in some sense an icon, but he should not imagine that he is a shrine.…

    There is another degree. This is a priest more experienced or older, who is more learned and called to give instructions to another person on how to go from earth to heaven. And this priest must be extremely careful. He should not say what he has not experienced experimentally or what he somehow does not know in his gut. We come to the confessor in order to meet a guide to the doors of the Kingdom of God. But if he himself has not been there, he cannot give us anything. Every confessor, every priest, to whom people come for confession, should think about this. Is it possible to say that every priest has in himself the ability to tell every person what he needs? No. It happens that a confessing priest or just a priest, to whom a person has come for a spiritual conversation, hears him, understands what is being said, but he does not have an answer. In this case, the priest must be honest and say to his spiritual child: “I understand everything that you told me, but I don’t have an answer for you. I will pray for you. And you pray, ask God to forgive me that, due to my inexperience, I cannot serve you and Him in this meeting, but I cannot tell you anything.

    And there is a third level. This is the eldership, the level of those people who, figuratively speaking, went almost all the way to the doors of the Kingdom of Heaven, maybe they didn’t enter it, or maybe they were admitted into it, but were sent back to earth, to us, so that we lead into this Kingdom. Here is the old man. This is a person who has gone all the way to the depths of his soul, has reached the place where the image of God is imprinted in him, and who can speak from these depths. But you cannot make yourself an elder, and, so to speak, no one is born an elder. These are the people who will be touched by the grace of the Holy Spirit and who will respond to it and be faithful - faithful to what Christ teaches us, and faithful to what the Holy Spirit says in their souls. Elders are rare...

    If the most inexperienced priest had this attitude towards confession, then he would already be a sacristan; and an elder only then is an elder when he can treat a person in this way - both in confession and outside confession at every meeting. And so I would like to say loudly, to all Russia: Beware, my brothers, priests! Beware, do not take on a role that does not correspond to your spiritual age, be simple! Just be priests - that's already so much! A person who, by the power of the grace of the Holy Spirit, can celebrate the Liturgy, can baptize a child, can anoint with myrrh, this is not a little, this is something so great!”

    – Does a priest need a spiritual father?

    - As a rule, it is necessary, especially for the young. If the priest has already been saturated with good spiritual experience, it is still necessary to confess. If possible, more often than is customary in the modern Orthodox Church, because so many priests confess only at general confessions in the diocese.

    So, twice a year?

    Yes, twice a year. But what, priests sin less, or what? They sin no less with internal sins than other people. Therefore, of course, it is desirable to confess much more often. Confession is necessary because, in general, an ongoing repentant experience of life is necessary.

    And priests are not accustomed to leadership in spiritual life. They do not know what it is, they only know how to lead, and as a rule, they do not know how and do not want to be led. But it is, of course, better for young priests to gain experience under the guidance of a more experienced priesthood.

    – Isn’t it scary for a priest to become a confessor? After all, we are talking about responsibility for human souls?

    - Well, this is a question related to the field of psychology. It also doesn’t work that you decide: “I’ll become a confessor.” Life goes on, the process goes on, you become a priest and, thereby, you assume a number of responsibilities. You come to confession - people come to you, confess. Some go to confession often, besides, they have questions, besides, there is a need to pray for them, besides, there is already some common life. That's how it works. And not that you set a task for yourself: point one is to become a confessor.



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