Often, negative thoughts and feelings prevent us from enjoying the good things in life. Gradually, we begin to think about the bad more and more often, and immersion in negative thoughts becomes a habit that is difficult to eradicate. In order to overcome this habit (however, like any other), it is necessary to change the way of thinking.

When we're stressed about something, the last thing we need is for negative thoughts to add to our stress, so it's important to learn how to deal with the endless stream of thoughts. In this article we will talk about how to save yourself from unnecessary experiences.

Steps

Change your way of thinking

Think about today. When you are tormented by anxious thoughts, what do you most often think about at that moment? You are probably reliving the events of the past (even if everything happened a week ago) or thinking about what will happen in the future. In order to stop worrying, you need to remember about the present moment, about today. If you shift your attention from what has already been or will be to what is happening now, it will become easier for you to stop perceiving everything too negatively. But, as is often the case, this is not so easy to do. In order to learn to live in the present, you must first learn to concentrate on what is happening to you literally at this very moment.

• There is one simple technique: look at a calming image (photo, painting). This will allow your head to rest and let go of all bad thoughts, and this happens only naturally - that is, when you do not intentionally try to get rid of thoughts and do not wait for you to finally succeed. It's very simple but effective way calm down and relax.
• If that doesn't work, try distracting your mind by counting from 100 to 7, or choose a color and search the room for all the objects of that color. So you can get rid of the chaos in your head, and then you can again focus on the present moment.

1. Don't lock yourself in. One of the consequences of focusing on bad thoughts is often an increasing distance between you and the world around you. If you decide to get out of your shell and reconnect with the world, you will have less time and energy for bad thoughts. Do not scold yourself for negative thoughts or emotions - this will only make things worse. You may have often thought about the fact that you really dislike someone, and then felt guilty about such thoughts or angry at yourself because of it. Because of this perception, causal relationships and incorrect attitudes are strengthened in the head, which become extremely difficult to get rid of over time. Below we present a few simple ways switch from your inner world to external.

   Develop self-confidence. Self-doubt in all its variety of manifestations often becomes the main cause of difficult thoughts and strong feelings. This feeling constantly haunts you: whatever you do, it is everywhere with you. For example, when talking with a friend, you constantly worry about how you look, what impression you make, instead of just talking. It is necessary to develop self-confidence, and then it will be easier for you to live a full life and not torment yourself with destructive thoughts.

   • Try to regularly do something exciting - this will make you feel confident in your abilities. For example, if you are good at baking pies, enjoy the whole process of baking: enjoy kneading the dough, enjoy the aroma that fills your home.
   • When you develop the ability to enjoy the present moment, remember this feeling and reproduce it as often as possible. Remember that the only thing keeping you from feeling in the present is your perception, so stop tormenting yourself with self-criticism.

   Understand how consciousness works

   1. Analyze your attitude towards negative thoughts or feelings. Since bad thoughts are often just habitual, they can come as soon as you stop looking after yourself. Promise yourself not to focus on these thoughts, because you need to learn not only to let them go, but also not to allow new ones to arise.

      Watch yourself . Determine how thoughts or feelings manage to control you. Thoughts have two components - the topic (what you think about) and the process (how you think).

      • Consciousness does not always need a topic - in cases of its absence, thoughts simply jump from one to another. Consciousness uses such thoughts in order to protect itself from something, or in order to calm and distract from something else - for example, from physical pain, from fear. In other words, when the defense mechanism kicks in, often the mind is just trying to cling to something to give you something to think about.
      • Thoughts that have a specific theme have a completely different character. Perhaps you are angry, worried about something, or thinking about some problem. Such thoughts are often repeated and always revolve around the same thing.
      • The difficulty lies in the fact that consciousness cannot be constantly absorbed by a topic or process. In order to correct the situation, it is worth remembering that thoughts alone cannot help the cause. Often we do not want to let go of thoughts and feelings because we want to better understand the situation: for example, if we are angry, we think about all the circumstances of the situation, all the participants, all the actions, and so on.
      • Often our desire to think about something is either simply think it turns out to be stronger than the desire to let go of thoughts, which greatly complicates the whole situation. The desire to think just for the sake of the process of "thinking" can lead to self-destruction, while this struggle with oneself is another way to escape from the situation that originally caused thoughts. It is necessary to overcome the desire to constantly comprehend something and learn to let go of thoughts, and after a while the desire to let go of thoughts in all cases will be stronger than the desire to scroll through something in the head without stopping.
      • Another problem is that we are used to considering thoughts as part of our personality. A person is not ready to admit that he himself can cause pain and suffering to himself. There is a generally accepted opinion, according to which it is believed that all feelings regarding one's "I" are valuable. Some feelings lead to negative experiences, others do not. Therefore, it is always necessary to look closely at thoughts and feelings in order to understand which ones are worth leaving and which ones should be let go.

   2. Try some experiments.

      • Try your best not to think of a polar bear or anything out of the ordinary, like a crimson flamingo with a cup of coffee. This is a rather old experiment, but it reveals the essence of human thinking very well. By trying to refrain from thinking about the bear, we suppress both the very thought of it and the thought that we need to suppress something. If you specifically try not to think about the bear, the thought of it will not go anywhere.
      • Imagine that you are holding a pencil in your hands. Think about what you want to throw it. In order to throw a pencil, you need to hold it. While you are thinking about leaving him, you are holding him. Logically speaking, a pencil cannot be dropped as long as you are holding it. The more you want to throw, the more force you hold it.

   3. Stop fighting with your thoughts. When we try to overcome any thoughts or feelings, we try to gather more strength to strike, but because of this, we cling to these thoughts even more strongly. The more effort, the greater the load on the mind, which responds to all these attempts with stress.

      • Instead of trying to forcefully get rid of thoughts, you need to loosen your grip. A pencil can fall out of your hands by itself - in the same way, thoughts can leave by themselves. It may take time: if you tried to forcefully eradicate some thoughts, the consciousness could remember your attempts, as well as its response.
      • When we go through our thoughts in an attempt to make sense of them or try to get rid of them, we do not budge, because the thoughts simply have nowhere to go. Once we stop dwelling on this situation, we let them go.

   Learn new things

   1. Learn to manage your thoughts. If a thought or feeling comes back to you over and over again, there are plenty of ways to keep it from engulfing you.

      • Surely there is a movie that you have watched many times, or a book that you have re-read. You always know what will happen next, so you are not so interested in watching a movie or reading this book again. Or maybe you've done something so many times that you don't want to do it again because you know you'll be bored. Try to transfer this experience to the situation with thoughts: as soon as you lose interest in thinking about the same thing, the thought will go away by itself.

   2. Don't try to run away from negative thoughts and emotions . Are you tired of the exhausting thoughts that are always with you, but have you really tried to deal with them? Sometimes a person tries to pretend that something is not there, instead of accepting it. If you do this with negative thoughts or emotions, they can stay with you forever. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel, and then let go of the emotions you no longer need. If your mind forces thoughts and emotions on you, it can make you judge yourself. There are many manipulative mechanisms in our minds, and we are not even aware of many of them. Consciousness manipulates us, because it seeks to control us through addictions to a variety of things and strong desires. By and large, we are driven by our addictions.

      • Remember that your happiness is in your hands, that feelings and emotions should not determine how you manage your life. If you allow past or future worries and obsessive desires to control you, you will never be able to live a fulfilling life.
      • Manage your own thoughts. Turn them inside out, change them - in the end, you will understand that you have power over thoughts, and not they have over you. Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones is a temporary measure, but it can be extremely useful at the right time. It will be easier for you to let go of thoughts if you feel that you yourself are able to control everything.
      • If your thoughts revolve around a problem that you have yet to solve, try your best to think of ways to get out of the problem situation. Do everything in your power, even if the situation seems completely hopeless.
      • If your thoughts and feelings are related to a sad event (such as the death of a relative or the breakup of a relationship), allow yourself to feel the sadness. Looking at pictures of the person you miss, thinking about the good things you've had together, and crying if it makes you feel better - it's all human. It is also helpful to write about your feelings in a journal.

   Remember the good

   1. Don't forget to remind yourself of the good things. If you're stressed, tired from work, or just feeling overwhelmed, bad thoughts can come back. In order to prevent them from completely absorbing you, use special methods of dealing with unwanted thoughts that will not allow them to take root.

      Practice visualization. This method will be especially useful for those who are very busy and who do not have enough time to relax. It is necessary to imagine in detail some pleasant place: it can be a memory of a place where you had a good time, or a fictional place.

   2. Think about your achievements. The world gives us many opportunities to enjoy life: we can help others, finish our chores, achieve certain goals, or simply get out into nature with family or have dinner with friends. Thinking about pleasant things develops self-confidence and makes us more receptive to good things.

      • Give thanks for what you have. For example, write down three things for which you are grateful to the universe. So in the head you can quickly “put things in order” and get rid of the flow of thoughts.

   3. Take care of yourself. Feeling unwell will not let you fully enjoy life and remain optimistic. When a person takes care of his body and takes care of his state of mind, negative thoughts and emotions simply have nothing to cling to.

      • Get enough sleep. Lack of sleep lowers vitality and does not contribute to good mood so try to sleep at least 7-8 hours a day.
      • Eat well. A balanced diet will allow your brain to get all the elements it needs. Include enough fruits and vegetables in your diet.
      • Go in for sports. Regular physical activity will help you not only always be in shape, but also fight stress. Both will contribute to better well-being and allow you to free yourself from heavy thoughts.

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The influence of thoughts on reality or how to learn to think about what you want and stop thinking about the bad?

Think about what you want and don't think about what you don't want, then dreams will come true.

Everything is correct.

And many of you have heard these words repeatedly.

But how can this principle be applied in practice?

How not to think about the bad?

And how to learn to think only about what you want to see in your life?

Attention! You have probably heard that thoughts shape our reality. With the power of thought, you can change the present, the future, and sometimes the past.

I decided to devote today's article to examples from our Everyday life, so that in these scenes you see yourself and understand how to learn to think only about what you want.

The influence of thoughts on human life

The influence of thoughts on human life is simply enormous.

In fact, our every thought creates reality.

To learn more about how our thoughts affect our lives, see the video

And if we see how the same negative circumstances come into our lives again and again, it means that we attract them ourselves, thinking about them day after day.

The influence of negative thoughts can be easily seen in the appearance of undesirable circumstances that upset you.

Pay special attention to those circumstances that happen again and again, like a broken record. The repetition of the same event clearly indicates that you have a lot of negative thoughts about this and you think them often.

I will give an example of the influence of thoughts on relationships.

Suppose a person once again fails in a love relationship.

He breaks up with a man he dated for a short time. And he has almost a dozen such relationships, lasting for a couple of months.

The very situation of the gap is a very unpleasant event for this person. He doesn't want that.

He ideally dreams of a good partner and a long, strong relationship.

But let's see what thoughts led him to break up again.

Immediately after the breakup, there is a reaction that in itself leads to a repetition of the same thing in the future:

I can't build normal relationships. I am forever alone. Not a single person suits me, everyone needs something, and I don’t understand what it is. What do they all need?

It was still good, love, why does a person begin to behave in an incomprehensible way? Why build something out of yourself? Every time the same thing, it is impossible to find a normal person.

I can't build relationships. I find it easier to be alone.

And then the Universe, shrugging its shoulders, answers, “Well, so be it!”

How to stop thinking about the bad?

How to get out of the vicious cycle of repetitive events?

First, you need to change the reaction.

Secondly, change your thoughts to those that you want to see in your life.

Knowing about the power of thought and the influence of thoughts on life, a person must, by an effort of will, respond correctly, without negativity, for example, like this:

It didn't work this time, it will work next time. So my destiny is another person. So, there is my soulmate and soon I will meet her.

My next love will be more successful. I would like my loved one to understand and support me, and it would be easy and simple to communicate with him.

And at the same time, do not mentally wash the bones of the former partner and do not recount all his negative aspects of character. Do not remember how horribly he acted and how ugly he reacted ...

These thoughts should be discarded and start thinking about the good qualities of a future partner. That is, to think about what is not yet. And do it on purpose to make it appear.

Changing thoughts!

This is done at first by an effort of will. If you are used to letting your mind go free, then in order to fulfill your desires and get what you want in your life, you need to tame it.

Your mind must work for you.

Mind, thoughts - build your world, shape your reality.

Where there is thought, there is reality.

If you want to choose for yourself what will happen in your reality, then you need to direct your thoughts in the right direction by an effort of will.

This is the only way to get out of the vicious circle of recurring negative events.

First: a positive reaction. Second: thoughts about what I would like to have ideally.

The influence of thoughts on family relationships

The next example of the influence of thoughts on relationships I want to dedicate to people who are already in strong relationships.

Often we get angry at our soul mates or think that our partner is very bad at something.

In the head of a married lady ironing her husband's shirts on Sunday lunch, one can hear the following thoughts:

He again yesterday did not nail this shelf. He is an absolute lazy person, he can't do anything. How tired I am of always reminding him. Why did I get such a husband? And these shirts can be thrown out a month after purchase. How can you treat things like that. Comes and throws on the floor. Slut!

As we can see, this is a standard “complaint” about life, which we often hear in our heads ourselves.

Who is complaining.

But the gist is the same: we think about what we DO NOT want to see in our lives.

How not to think about the bad?

Just remember that your every daily thought should be ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT.

And then the thoughts of this lady should change to these:

My husband, of course, is not perfect, but in general he is very caring.

I love it so much when he cooks dinner himself sometimes.

I also like how carefully he drives the car. He provides us and it is worth appreciating. In general, if you look at it, my husband is real gold.

And so, the more positive a woman finds in her husband, the more good qualities will appear in him.

And you can not only look for the positive, you can shape it.

For example:

My husband is very careful with his clothes and he has enough shirts for a whole year.

Let it not be so now. But when did that stop a real wizard?

We create our own reality.

We are able to create something that has not yet been.

We are able to manifest another sector of reality. Another variant.

And if you're ready to start the change - join my

How our thoughts affect the body

Our thoughts affect our body in a direct way.

I have noticed from my own experience that if you constantly think that an extra dessert will have a bad effect on the figure, then it will be so.

You will get fat not by the day, but by the hour.

And all these standard thoughts will be to blame.

But you can think differently...

The French, whose culture is quite supportive of wine, smoking, cakes (solid saxap!) And spicy sauces (solid cholesterol!), consume all this and live to a ripe old age, remaining healthy and slim.

Much research has been done in an attempt to understand their "secret", because, according to modern theories, a person needs to have a coronary bypass almost after every visit to the pastry shop.

However, there is no secret. It's all about the mood. The French eat with pleasure and without guilt.

You can make it a rule for yourself: every time you eat something sweet, say to yourself:

I am getting slimmer and prettier every day.

I can eat whatever I want, I'm still slimmer.

I have a very fast metabolism.

A heavy dinner is digested very quickly and goes to building muscles.

Everything depends on you.

Get out of your head all those thoughts and opinions that society inspires you.

Think only about what you want. You are entitled to it.

If you want to have a beautiful body, say so to yourself, looking in the mirror:

I have a gorgeous beautiful body.

Let at first it will seem to you that this is a cruel lie.

After some time, reality will change, and you will see in the mirror what you thought about daily.

The influence of thoughts on fate

What do you think about your destiny?

Listen, whatever you think of her, she will be as you imagine her in your thoughts.

Are you afraid to repeat the fate of your older relatives? As long as you are afraid, you choose the negative option.

To be afraid to get = to think about what you do NOT want.

My father was an alcoholic, so I have these genes. I can become like that too... I don't want to. I'm scared.

These thoughts are very dangerous, if this happened to you, replace them with new ones:

I have good genes. My father was very smart, read a lot, despite his problem, was a respected person.

I will take only his most positive qualities, and my fate will be beautiful.

There is only one way to overcome a negative scenario: stop thinking about it, and start thinking about a new desired scenario.

Replace unwanted thoughts with desirable ones.

How to do it? How not to think about the bad?

If you know for sure that your bad negative thoughts affect your life, you will never be able to calmly think about the bad “for your pleasure”.

We are used to thinking about the bad, we do it out of habit. Because everyone around them thinks it's normal. Complaining, making claims, being afraid, judging in your mind - all this is the norm.

No one has told us since childhood how this adversely affects our lives.

Materials are just beginning to appear, articles are being published, articles are being written, videos are being shot that you need to think only about what you want.

Today, today, look at what is “bad” in your life.

Remember all the thoughts that often visit your head regarding this "bad". Become aware of these negative thoughts. Start recognizing them as they pop into your head.

Come up with new replacement thoughts.

Think only about what you want.

Every person is affected by bad thoughts. They arise as a result of unjustified hopes, difficulties at work and similar life adversities. Negative thoughts quickly eat a person from the inside and drive him into a prolonged depression. If you do not take action in time, there is a risk of losing yourself forever. Ultimately, a person ceases to enjoy life.

Method number 1. Analyze negative emotions

When difficult life circumstances arise, many people do their best to hide them, do not betray them due importance. Often this opinion is considered erroneous. If you keep all the accumulated negativity in yourself, sooner or later complete despair sets in. In this case, it is worth analyzing the pressing problems and trying to cope with them as soon as possible.

1. Control your thoughts. Set aside time to read psychological books aimed at expanding the subconscious mind. Fight negative thinking, try to extract positive emotions from what happened. Think positive, dream, no matter what. Human thoughts are material and have a pleasant feature to come true. The choice is yours - what to do, good or bad. By gaining control over your mind, you will no longer allow bad thoughts to control you.
2. Find inspiration. In critical situations, a person despairs so much that he does not see a way out. Negativity literally breaks it, making it weak-willed. Believe me, there is always a way! Remember the bright moments in your life when you were happy. Inspiration is the key to trouble. Think about how much you haven't done yet and where you haven't been. Get the best of bad thoughts, don't let yourself fade away. Do what you have been dreaming of for a long time.
3. Let emotions out. Most often, despondency comes with the departure of a loved one, a quarrel with relatives or friends, difficulties at work. Try to spit out the negative at one time. Remember pleasant and funny stories, give vent to emotions and let go of evil. The past cannot be returned, they quarreled, which means that you will soon make peace. And at work, everything is normal, and the money will be. Be strong, live in the present, because life is beautiful. Feel free to cry sometimes, in this way you unload the nervous system and clear your mind.

Method number 2. Don't lock yourself in

Communicate. During the experience of difficult life moments, you should not close yourself in, protect yourself from friends and relatives. In critical situations, contact a psychologist, state the problems and let them go. Do not blame yourself for what happened, look for alternative actions to deal with bad thoughts. Do not isolate yourself from the outside world, communication with new people will quickly correct your perception of life.

1. Look for allies. If possible, find purposeful and positive interlocutors. Such a move will help develop your ego. Negative thoughts will recede into the background. Having found a new social circle, become an interesting conversationalist. Express your opinion, offer non-standard ideas, do not be shy of emotions. Be more interested in the field of activity that affects you, share your personal observations and experiences.
2. Provide support to family members. Based on your personal experience of experienced difficulties, be able to listen to a loved one. Talking about his current problems will help you forget the bad moments from your own life. Do more good deeds, help sick family members, take care, cook, buy medicines. Arrange warm evenings in a friendly company, communicate more on diverse topics.
3. Become a volunteer. Do noble deeds, look at people with disabilities. You will realize how insignificant your problems look against their background. After what you see comes the realization that absolutely everything is within your power. Working in this area, people make interesting acquaintances and gain life experience from each other.
4. Pay attention to the little things. Go for a walk around the city on your day off. Concentrate on the little things, pay attention to the birds. Look around the buildings in the city center, you may have never noticed such exciting architecture. Relax, take a long walk like a first-time tourist in your city. Concentration on external factors helps the brain to work at a new level, overshadowing existing problems.
5. Rejoice in the present. With the advent of negative emotions, a person moves away from friends and closes in on himself. He thinks that left alone with the problem, he can deal with it much faster. Such an opinion is a gross mistake. If friends invited you to visit or to entertainment events, do not hesitate and agree. Every time you go out for a walk, you can get to know interesting people and get a lot of positive emotions. A person quickly withers away without society and a sense of his social significance.

Method number 3. Become a confident person

The reasons for bad thoughts can be different. If we are talking about problems related to work, financial difficulties or personal life, it will not be difficult to correct the situation. First of all, don't take it all on yourself. Both bad and good periods come in life, be prepared for anything.

1. Work on yourself. Decide which area you work best in. Take workshops and refresher courses. Get a job in a new organization that will rightfully appreciate you. Improve, gradually discovering new skills in yourself.
2. Develop your personality. Expand your mind with useful literature. Read history, psychology, sociology. Start learning if you can. foreign language, do it yourself with audio tutorials and your favorite movies. This method will allow you to learn unfamiliar phrases much faster than daily memorization of a textbook or dictionary.
3. Do not depend on the opinion of society. Be natural when you are around familiar faces. You should not constantly pick up smart phrases, watch your hair and clothes. Do not refuse to laugh heartily, be yourself. People will love you for your openness and simplicity of character. Those who don't like you will drop out over time. Spit on imaginary friends, they are not worthy of you.
4. Develop physically. Sports and morning jogging have never harmed anyone. Physical activity has a positive effect on the general psycho-emotional background. Do the exercises conscientiously, the result will not keep you waiting. Soon you will realize how self-confident you have become and forget about past failures. Give up bad habits. Follow a sleep schedule and a proper diet.

Throw away thoughts about the past, you can’t return to it. Live for today, develop, communicate, do not hold back feelings and emotions. Find real friends, spit on those who left you. Become the person they will look up to and not be afraid to seek advice. You decide your own destiny!

Video: how to get rid of negative thoughts

Date: 2014-03-24

Sometimes we just get stuck. On various aspects of life. Our decisions, regrets, self-esteem, worries about the future - we so often get stuck in our own head that sometimes we feel: there is no way out. We tell you how to stop being smart and start moving on.

Why are we obsessed?

When we talk about thinking too much about something, we are talking about several things. On the one hand, long thinking is when we get into a kind of loop, replaying the same event in our head over and over again.

You analyze what happened, regret what you did or didn’t do, worry about the consequences, etc.

On the other hand, you can similarly think about decisions rather than actions. You analyze your decisions to the point of complete exhaustion, and one day you can reach the point where you can’t make any decisions at all.

In any case, we are wiser when we fixate on something and cannot think about anything else. This deprives of strength, mood, energy, will to work. And the ultimate goal is to somehow get out of this “thought cycle” and move on.

1. Act Now

If you are obsessed with something - the best thing you can do is take action. This does not mean that you should suddenly jump up and run to do something, it only means that you need to take a step forward.

Suppose you are planning to move to another city. You can't do it right away, so you sit back and forth over and over in your mind about the details of the move.

And this is where it matters. For example, make a list of where you want to go after you move. Study the housing prices in this city, find out what kind of work there is, and so on. Create a financial plan and set goals. Make a schedule.

It doesn't matter what you are doing, you just have to move away from the thought you are fixated on. Creating all these plans and comparing them further can help you make your final decision.

Actually, moving is a simplistic example, but it works great in all situations related to your future. In any similar situation, you can start drawing up a plan of action - and feel better. Bob Miglani, a contributor to the Huffington Post, summed up the idea this way:

Bob Miglani / © www.indiaconferenceatharvard.com

“The only thing that helps to rid the mind of obsession is turning your anxious thoughts about the future into some kind of effort and work. Act, do something, and these actions can create a miracle.

Every time I start to worry about the future, I just get up, go to my computer and start writing something or working on my book. And if suddenly it happened during the day, in the office, then I start writing down ideas on how to make my work more productive, or how to start working on something really interesting.

Whatever job you choose, it has to be challenging for focusing on solving the problem to give your brain enough of a boost to break the vicious cycle of obsession.”

From this it follows that doing business is the main cure for cycling. We tend to be smart because we are afraid of failure, but as soon as we get down to business, fears and doubts dissipate by themselves.

2. Switch your attention to something else

Sometimes, for some reason, you cannot begin to act, and then the only measure that gets rid of the "loop" is to distract the mind. Find yourself a hobby or some other activity that will completely occupy your mind. This will allow you to forget about your "thought cycle" for a while, and eventually it will disappear.

Some people just go for a walk at such moments. Writer Haruki Murakami describes this feeling as "emptiness" in one of his books, and he uses running as a cure for it:

“I just run. I run into the void. Or maybe I should put it another way: I'm running to find emptiness. But as one would expect, sometimes thoughts flicker in this emptiness. The human mind cannot be completely empty. Human emotions are not strong enough and consistent enough to sustain a vacuum. What I mean is that all kinds of thoughts and ideas that invade my emotions while I am running remain addicted to emptiness. They are just random thoughts without content, gathered around the emptiness in the center.

Of course, exercise is not the only way to get distracted. For someone great way to calm an overloaded brain is meditation. Quite ordinary things, such as listening to music or any other activity that can distract the mind from disturbing thoughts, can also help to cope with anxiety.

3. Stop talking about it

Most of us, when faced with a difficult decision and obsessed with it, seek advice from others, which is completely natural. But in practice this often means that we talk about our problem with so many people that in the end we just can't help but get hung up. As mentioned earlier, too many "chefs in the kitchen" only worsen the decision-making process. Psychology today can explain what happens in our brain:

“The human mind hates uncertainty. Uncertainty implies volatility, randomness and danger. When we notice a lack of information, the brain raises a metaphorical red flag and says, “Pay attention! It can be important…” When data is missing, we tend to overestimate its value. Our mind assumes that if we spend resources looking for this information, we will solve the problem.”

We all want to receive useful information from others, but at a certain point this information ceases to be useful. When we have a limited amount of information, we can look at it more productively. Psychologists call it "strategy to take the best":

“The “take the best” strategy means that you only reason as much as you need to. Then you stop and do something else. For example, if there are ten pieces of information you need to make an informed decision, but one of those pieces is obviously more important than the others, then that piece will be enough for you to make a choice. Too much detail complicates things and wastes time.”

4. Find out why you're obsessed

Sometimes we fixate on something simply because we can. We fall into the trap of a cycle in which we recreate some events over and over again or try to analyze an idea from all possible points of view. After many hours of thinking and sleepless nights, we eventually reach a dead end.

Psychologists say that although our brain is programmed for such a “looping”, something can still be done about it.

Here is their definition of the problem:

“Whether it is anxiety about social interactions, our self-image, our future, our families, or something else, the cycle it causes is always debilitating and rarely leads to beneficial results. More often than not, we just spend time thinking hard about events, our actions, other people's actions, or their thoughts. We repeatedly try to predict all potential future outcomes, even though most of these scenarios will never come true.

The most a big problem here, which we constantly remind people of: you are not your brain. We often take the fleeting thoughts, impulses, emotional impulses, and desires generated by our brains at face value, and assume from the outset that they must necessarily be true.”

To recap, here is a four-step plan for breaking out of obsession:

• Decide with what exactly causes the “loop” (self-doubt, anxiety, etc.);
• reconsider your experience and identify thinking errors;
• Switch focus on the part that matters the most;
• Spend re-evaluating your brain's messages with new information.

After going through these four steps, you can better understand how often our brain has no idea what it is doing. By pulling back a little, you can figure out which idea is causing the loop, close the loop, and move on.

"Magnet Man": How to become more charismatic and attract people to you

How to develop self-confidence

A method for training memory and dealing with absent-mindedness from the bestseller Harry Loraine

Tutorial: How to walk into a room and make a good impression right away

How to debunk the myths of the interlocutor and convince him of his innocence

The easiest way to improve your memory